Do you get an allowance?

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 9:07 pm Post subject: Do you get an allowance?

While on the topic of finance.
Do you get an allowance? If so what does it cover? Amount?

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 22 2004 Posts: 8627

That always seems creepy to me. My husband isn't my father, why should he decide how much I spend? We each do what we need to, but discuss big purchases (say over $200). I also try to stick to a self-imposed grocery budget.
_________________
FFB, Frum By Choice

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 9:21 pm Post subject:

You each need some discretionary money but you also need a budget unles syou're independently wealthy.
_________________
Married 23 plus years but still in Shana Rishona.

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 9:23 pm Post subject:

I agree with Cassandra.

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 9:53 pm Post subject:

Maybe that's b/c you work, momof3.

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 10:03 pm Post subject: re: Do you get an allowance?

Are you kidding? How degrading would that be? Thank G-d both DH and I have always worked, excluding blessedly brief periods of unemployment for one reason or another. I would never want to be exclusively dependent on another person for every cent, no matter how much I loved him. Husbands should not control the finances--it should be a joint project.

Even my mother didn't get an allowance. On payday my father would take an allowance for himself and hand the rest of the pay envelope over to her.

I can think of few things as humiliating as having to ask your husband for money and/or having to account to him for what you spend. Well, if you happen to be a fiscally irresponsible spendthrift, giving you an allowance may be the only way to make sure you don't drive your family to the brink of disaster--but for an adult woman of normal spending habits--cheee....

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 10:04 pm Post subject: re: Do you get an allowance?

I wouldn't call it an "allowance" CM said it in the preferred way "discretionary money". When on a really tight budget it really does a lot to have pocket change to do as you please with. But if money is not as tight, its not a big deal.

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 10:05 pm Post subject: re: Do you get an allowance?

Imamother above. YOu dont think its degrading for the man to get an allowance (like your father gets0?

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 22 2004 Posts: 8627

I think there is a big difference between having a budget that you and your husband agree upon vs. having your husband control how much you spend. To me, "allowance" implies the latter.

Gold Member Joined: Dec 25 2007 Posts: 1202

dh and I both work and both get an agreed amount of discretionary money, which I guess you can call allowance. Neither of us can overdraw unless the other agrees. Money is tight and it would otherwise impact on the budget for bills. It is agreed upon by both, not unilateral. If it was unilateral I would agree that it would likely get me crazy...

Senior Member Joined: Nov 25 2007 Posts: 152

My husband works and I am a stay at home mom. Why would anyone need an allowance? we both have access to the bank account and spend accordingly. we are not babies. we are responsible adults who always know our bank balance and buy as we need and can afford. I thought marriage was with two grown-ups and each is capable of making their own decisions, each can make withdrawals w/o the others permission. of course, as a courtesy we would notify the other of a withdrawal and discuss a major purchase. I guess an allowance comes into play when one spouse has a habit of spending more than is coming in and cant seem to stop. But in a normal situation, I can't understand why an allowance is necessary.

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 11:06 pm Post subject:

grown ups should be able to handle monies appropriately ... I find it demeaning to call it an allowance Shocked

_________________
don't wonder why people go crazy ... rather wonder why we don't
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NUTso but cute ~ things balance out Nervous

Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 11:27 pm Post subject:

what allowence? the paycheck is gone before dh brings it home,between all our bills...
_________________

Chocolate heals everything!

Gold Member Joined: Sep 04 2007 Posts: 1243

nope.
he gets the allowance. Laughing

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6192

choc I also agree with spending what u decide, and I dont work..

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 11906

I wouldnt call it an allowance. Dh gives me $200 every week to spend on household needs including food, drugstore, hardware, toys, pizza, clothing, the cleanign lady, wahtever. there are weeks where it runs out by Wedneseday already, but that's when I dont watch the money and overspend. the weeks that I have money left over I feel so proud and put it away in a small envelope for use for 'bigger things' or unexpected expenses - like last weekI had an extreminator over and tomorrow we'll need an electrician. DH is in chrge of paying all the bills, but I do the everyday spending, so I get the $200 'allowance' which I'm supposed to spend frugally. Unfrotuantely I also end up putting a lot of stuff on credit cards, because ther are things I buy online such as diapers, the odd ebay purchase, etc. So I wouldnt call it an allowance, but 'money for the week.'

Posted: Sun, Jan 27 2008, 12:55 am Post subject: re: Do you get an allowance?

I have to make my own money on the side for spending. He knows about this, so it's okay...we have an agreement that this money is mine, but he can request some. This is essential for shalom bayis because we grew up with very different views of money (he's Israeli, I'm American. I'm stingy by U.S standards I think, but extravagant by his standards). Even though I am the main breadwinner now, my income is for the bills and food shopping.

Trips to the macolet to get stuff we need during the week, extra things for the kids, prizes, additional babysitting, and neshei Chabad events are paid for by my extra money. The things I mentioned are not planned and covered by a regular budget, so it is better that I make this money myself so it doesn't stress dh out.

Things are tight, and if dh weren't so tight himself, I don't know how we would survive, but we do need extra stuff from time to time and it is best not to hit the account or live on overdraft. Wink

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 11906

the money I make an ebay evaporates very quickly. I'ts not a lot of money - It's about $50-$80 a week - so if I have a sudden expense like - the kinesioologist for my son, copays for medication, paying the 'ayin hora guy', a metrocard for doctor's appointments, I just got ds a new dvd player to keep him busy during the day, etc etc, so my 'ebay money' evaporates way too fast... I cant depend on that for my weekly expenses, it's more of 'emergency money' when it runs out on Friday or when someone comes at th door for tzedakah and I dont have any singles on me, it inevitably comes out of there....

Posted: Sun, Jan 27 2008, 1:27 am Post subject: re: Do you get an allowance?

mamabear what is your secret? you even have a cleaning lady, order pizza .. & spend only $200

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 01 2005 Posts: 11906

lol are you being sarcastic, amother? A cleaning lady is $27-$36 usually and pizza is, what, 5 bucks?