Until What Age is a Woman Attractive and Desirable

Lady Godiva

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 5:47 pm

Squishy wrote:

I am not psychotic in the least.
*Freshman year in college I had 7 guys show up in my room at once with candy flowers cards, etc on Valentine's Day. I ended up walking out of the room because it was a nutty situation. I thought these guys were friends. I sent a different friend in to shoo them out. I got more Valentine's Day Cards than I got holiday greeting cards.
*A bride did a double take at a non frum wedding I attended while walking down the isle. She actually stopped mid walk. At the same wedding her father in law asked me to dance with him before the bride. I was sitting there minding my business. Another friend overheard some men talking about me saying they wanted my dirty laundry. BTW I wore makeup for the wedding which I never did and a pretty party dress.
*Another Scarlet moment I had was when I was on a bow of a boat minding my own business waiting for my friend and her husband to show up and after a while I was surrounded by a crowd of young men. Granted boating is more of a man's activity, but they came into my space.
The boating incident was in my late 20s. The wedding was my late 30s. I was in my late teens as a college Freshman.

My affect is that of an absent minded professor. I rarely made eye contact in those days.

As I feel I am a different person and certainly in a different league in looks, I will say that I don't think the men were desperate. I think they were average.

Boy, do I wish I started this conversation as amother.

Those stories (other than the one with the bride stopping in the middle of walking down the aisle) are not atypical for an attractive person. But to stop a bride while walking down the aisle... you must be spectacular and in your own league in attractiveness. Good for you.

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:06 pm

I am in my 50's but I look better than I looked when I was a teenager. I never thought I was attractive, but to my husband I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not perfect weight, nor am I a great beauty. But I think I look better and better as I grow older, the happiness I feel makes me look younger.
I have good skin, so not too many lines, and I dress in a classy way. In my 20'S and 30's I never had time to look at myself, but I always looked my best, with minimal makeup & hardly paying any attention to myself.
I still hate makeup, hardly wear any, & get compliments all the time.
I have people approaching me and recognizing me that haven't seen me in 40+ years saying I haven't changed at all. I don't recognize them....
& after all is said and done, I am not a great beauty, only in my mother's eyes was I maybe a fabulous beauty.

amother

Green

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:03 pm

Chloe wrote:

I know this was a joke. But I'll answer anyway. Most supermodels do not reach stardom before age 25, nevermind the 21, and lasts well into the 40's. Giselle Bundchen is the highest paid model in the world at 34.

http://www.reuters.com/article.....20228

Quote:

* Models career over by mid-20s

* Around 70 pct of models change every season

* Models bank money for university, career

By Antonella Ciancio

MILAN, Feb 28 (Reuters) - Italian model Diana Gelsi strode straight onto the fashion catwalks of Milan from high school and now at the grand old age of 24 is already considering how she'll spend her retirement.

The slender, leggy model with a face framed by hair dyed an ironic silvery gray for a show at Milan Fashion Week is preparing for a second career around the same time that many middle class Westerners her age are taking their first steps from university into professional life.

"I am a granny model," Gelsi told Reuters on the sidelines of the runway shows. "I would like to become a video producer."

Quote:

Video producer, lawyer, actor, writer -- most of the models strutting their stuff at fashion weeks in New York, London, Milan and Paris are already preparing themselves for life on the realistic assumption that they will not be spinning out a career showing off designer gear for decades like supermodels Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell.

That's why the 20-somethings dashing around the backstage areas in preparation for Cavalli, Armani, Versace and Prada are thrilled to be on the circuit, but cautious about the future. Some still stereotypically puff on cigarettes and sip Champagne, but the smart operators have a book off their reading list close by and they are actually devouring it voraciously.

British model Lily Cole grabbed headlines last year when she graduated in Art History from Cambridge University at the age of 23. Canadian model Lisa Cant entered Columbia University at 23.

"I love modelling but I love school more. Before I went to university, I saw modelling as my career, but now I see modelling as a means to pay for my future," Cant wrote on the website of The Model Alliance, a non-profit organisation which aims to improve working conditions for fashion models.

David Brown, who represents catwalk stars such as Moss, Claudia Schiffer and Campbell, said the chances of a long-term career for most of the girls at the shows these days are much lower than they were during the heady 1990s, when supermodels ruled the fashion roost.

"There is a continuing demand for something new that is almost maniacal," he told Reuters.

The majority of models start working before age 16 and their career is over by their mid-20s.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 29 2015, 7:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

Ruchel

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 2:59 am

I want to look young because that's how I feel. I relate very well to teens and very young adults, they are also drawn to me (not "that way"!! lol) for chat, advice... they are also drawn to my husband in a smaller way (as he's not opened to opposite gender talking unless it's plain kiruv or chinuch). I saw it again this year during the vacay. Then they see we have even a primary schooler and can't believe!!

Reminds me 2 years ago my dh was invited to spend a holiday in a yeshiva he has ties to and the people there thought he was a groiser bucher and in need of a shidduch, he told them nope kah he's a father for long years (similar has happened to me in vacay, or at a Ladino fair, also at mikve I have been mistaken for first mikve after marriage huuuh no I was post partum with ds)!! So he looks young also, and I know he doesn't want to look old though he's absolutely not freaked like me.

High risk is 38 in my country, and many docs think it's pushing the envelope and should be 40+. You can still give birth in a natural setting until that age and more, if no further issues.

ora_43

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:59 am

Chloe wrote:

Giselle Bundchen was "discovered" when she was 14. She's still working in her 30s because she became one of the world's top models in her late teens/early 20s.

I can't think of any supermodel who wasn't discovered as a teen, and internationally known by her early 20s. Anyone who wasn't supermodel-beautiful as a teen won't be at 30, either. That said, a 40-something-year-old former supermodel is probably more conventionally attractive than 98% of teenagers.

On the other hand, there are women in their 70s and 80s still working as harlots.

So - attractive? If you were going to have men drooling over your beauty, it would have started by age 23 or so. (If it did start at that age, it'll probably keep going for another couple of decades.) The other 99.99% of us will have to be content with looking decently pretty for our respective ages.

But desirable? As long as you have XX chromosomes and a pulse, there will be plenty of men out there who not only desire you s-xually, but would be willing to pay for the experience.

Does that help?

(Me, I don't want to look like I'm still in my early 20s - that would make me disturbingly young for having kids the age of my kids. Soon enough it will be my dds' turn to be teenagers, let them deal with all the worry about being pretty enough. I'm done.)

amother

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 4:40 am

I am 36 and very pretty, baruch Hashem. I find that I'm more beautiful now, when I'm older than I was in my twenties, probably a result of learning how to dress, etc. and also "coming into my own" which is much more attractive than awkward, unconfident youth.

It is a problem, though, sometimes, because I encounter a lot of male flirting--within the frum community and without, and it makes me feel ashamed and disgusted but I'm not good at knowing how to stop it.

So attractiveness and beauty definitely have their own challenges.

rachel91

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 5:00 am

amother wrote:

Not all 'youth' dresses awkward, or is unconfident about their looks.
With my 23 years, I know how to dress, and am very confident about my looks (maybe abit too confident Tongue Out

), I don't know what will be in 10 years, but I hope I will have the same feeling about myself, since I love the way I look.
It' s just the higher (age) numbers, that are frightening me sometimes.

Sanguine

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 5:35 am

Until What Age is a Woman Attractive and Desirable

Simple - Ad Meah VeEsrim... to other people who are over 100

What I would find attractive and desirable now is different than ,when I was 18. When I was 18, other 18 year olds were Attractive and Desirable. Now they're "cute", some are really good looking. But none are desirable to me (works the same for DH). If you're 30 and you still want to be desirable to 18 year olds something is wrong.

18 years olds are cute or good looking to 30 year olds. Thirty year olds are "nice looking" to 18 year olds (mostly they're the Mom who bakes great cookies). Within your own age group you can be " Attractive and Desirable" Ad Meah VeEsrim.

PinkFridge

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 6:06 am

amother wrote:

I'm having aging fears because of this issue although of course we all want to reach old age, in happiness and health. I want to be seen as attractive and desireable. Not for the wrong reasons. Just because as a woman, it's important to me. I turned 30. I know it's still very young. But I'm scared of losing my looks and beauty as we age. 30 to 35 is a tiny jump and at that point ones is considered high risk for child rearing, and even here on imamother there is already a group for 35+. Am I just a leap away of being considered old?

When Paulina Porizkova was 42, she spoke about how hard it was for her to age because of her looks in her 20's and 30's. Not that I'm a supermodel or close to it, but there is obviously a universal age when women get looked at as less attractive and it scares me.

I'm not a materialistic person in general, so I don't know where this is coming from.

Can anyone relate?

I'm going to take a gamble and reply, having just read the OP and the last 2 posts. I do hope to read the rest of the thread but have no time now.

Do you have any relatives who've been married forever and are still crazy about each other? I had some relatives like that (alas, not parents or grandparents who didn't get to share this world "forever"). I noticed the husband looking at his wife and wondered, does he look at her and think, wow, she's beautiful, even after all the years and pounds or wrinkles, or does he look at her and see the totality of their years together and that's the beauty? I asked a cousin (not their child) her opinion and she said, both.

Now some of you may be reading this because the "forever" isn't an option for you anymore. But you can still project that beauty, grace, dignity and love.

Just an afterthought: You mention a supermodel. Now I don't know about her personal life but maybe she had family, causes, etc., substantial things in her life. But what was the iker, and what was the tafel? If just her looks, yeah, life will get hard when one hits middle age. And look at Robert Redford, who certainly is not the poster child for sunscreen. Yet people still DO look at him. Maybe the age falls away and they see the handsome young man, or maybe they see a life fully (well, I hope to live my life more and differently fully, but I think you all know what I mean) lived.

cmfried

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:41 pm

I admit, it's a little hard to read about someone's fears of turning 30 when she's nearly a decade younger than I am (30? Seriously?), but I feel I must share some wisdom with you. A woman in her 20's, while she may be fresh-faced and cute, is often not very "put together". She often lacks grace, maturity, discretion, and is given to fashion that isn't necessarily flattering of what Hashem gave her.

I was terrified to turn 30, but once I did I looked back on my 20's and thought "What an amateur! It's a wonder I made it through!" I've since heard a few men say that while they realize that they're supposed to be attracted to young ladies, they just don't see it. I've heard several say that they don't even think of a woman as full-grown (so to speak) until she reaches 30.

Now I'm just a few months away from 40, and I'm running at it full force. If the lies surrounding turning 30 are anything like what I hear about 40, I imagine the next decade is going to be simply magical!

p.s. Your skin is your best asset. Keep it clean and do not torture it with excess makeup.