What time do you start your seder?, (NOT when you end)

realeez

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 2:16 pm

For years I always wondered what my family did wrong, considering we ended our seder late but not at 2 am or who knows when. We said a lot of divrei torah, sang a lot, etc so it's not like we missed something Very Happy

. Last year, after hearing from dh's friend what went on at his ILs for the seder it hit me. He said how the men came home from maariv (and I am talking about the first night, the 2nd night obviously will have to start later since you can't do any preps until then) and then everyone started setting the table. Then once that was done, a SIL got up to go nurse her baby and after she was done another SIL went to put her kids to sleep. By that point the baby was crying already, so back to another feeding. They didn't start til like 11 pm! He said no, there weren't more divrei torah or singing or anything, just a lot of waiting around. OK, I thought this was a rare thing and spoke to a bunch more friends who said yes, that is exactly what happens. You can throw into the mix those who wash each course of dishes during shulchan orech as they get dirty so the meal drags on and on and on.

Last year, my parents came to me and right before candlelighting, my mother got everyone moving to set up. Then as soon as my dh & father came home from shul, we went to the table to start (having a fed 6-month-old in her crib).

Yes, I know things come up at the last minute, like the newborn baby who was sleeping peacefully and starts screaming as soon as you are ready to begin but I am not talking about those cases. I think everyone should prioritize to aim to have the seder started as soon as possible, esp for the sake of kids who want to stay up as long as possible.

(apologies to those who have seen this b4)

su7kids

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 2:44 pm

Our seder starts right away and if someone is taking care of a baby or something, then the questions and discussion starts with everyone who is there already.

One year I had to do mikvah duty and the kids started with my dh without me. They waited by "Kiddush" but had covered a lot of information until then.

Our Shulchan Orech is ver ysimple. Chicken soup, with chicken and vegetables.

realeez

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 4:22 pm

shalhevet wrote:

Mommyabc123 - what you are saying is said in the halacha. Also, what do these people do about eating the afikomen before chatzos? And preferably Halel should also be recited before Chatzos.

I'm glad I am in sync with halacha. That's my goal Very Happy

Just wanted to bring it to everyone's attention.

chocolate moose

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 4:25 pm

We went away for the first days a few times, to friends iwth a large famikly, and I could not believe how much time it took to do everhthing!

In our house, most of the food is in the freezer before yomtov, the dishes, table, and flatwear are washed and ready from the night before, and we start and end very very promptly, whereas our friends didn't start until midnight the 2nd night!

greenfire

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 4:31 pm

Yes I certainly cannot stand when the seder's start is dragging on ... but unless I get things done it is hard ... I too start asap ... as a matter of fact I used to get nervous with my ex cause of that ... I also get nervous fri night if we do not get on with the show cause I inevitably will pass out ... against my will ... but none the less ... I too make my seuda quite simple for both sedarim ... a hearty chicken soup with the food all in one bowl ... you could have seconds if your hungry ... a little dessert and ... mostly focus on the seder ... but everyone fills in stuff that they learned or we sing dif songs that dif people like ...

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Apr 01 2007, 7:52 pm

Last year the men had been back for an hour by the time we did kadesh; we were out and waiting for some other guests to arrive....I started falling asleep in a chair and the rest of the meal was torture trying to stay awake, guzzle wine, and stuff matzah into myself (even though I took the minimum shiur). I'm worried about this year...how will it all fit? There's a special little one giving my stomach even less room this year!

Well, this year no wine and bli neder, I will not let myself doze off before kadesh...no matter how long it takes!