Are you a good host?

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 8:32 pm

My husband and I travel alot for business and we often stay by friends over night or for a weekend. I must say that we are usually shocked and appalled at what lousy hosts most women are. If you offer to be a host, then be a good one! Here are a suggestions I would like to make, as a "guest" to "hosts" everywhere:

1. A married couple needs a bedroom and (clean) separate bathroom. If you dont have a separate bathroom, and we will be using the bathroom your kids just took a bath in,or that you and your husband use, please reconsider the invitation.

2. Please supply a fresh bar of soap. The old soap bar and loofah in the guest bathroom is gross.

2. Clean sheets! Its obvious when you dont change the sheets between guests and possibly the most offensive thing you can possibly do. It's really horrifying but quite a few people I know havent bothered. One couple even "lent" us a blanket right off of their own bed!

3. Please supply an extra pillow, especially if the pillows on the beds are old and lumpy.

4. "Help yourself to the fridge" is a cop-out. I cant tell whats in your fridge or how old it is. A host has to offer a freshly made meal of some sort. Please dont serve us leftovers on dinky paper plates with plastic forks.

5. As cute as your kids are, we cannot carry on a conversation when they are all screaming and running around the dinner table. You may be used to it, but we are getting a migraine.

6. A messy house is disgusting and dirty diapers strewn about make us want to get the heck out asap.

7. We can make sandwiches for our flight in but for our flight out, please prepare an adequate amount of food so that we dont have to buy bagels in cvs on the way to the airport.

These are just some basics I can think of offhand. If you would like to add a few feel free. I am just so sick and tired of frum women, who appear to be balebustas, behaving like slobs.

signed,
a frustrated guest

greenfire

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 9:00 pm

I believe it was erma bombeck who said "if I had to live my life over I would invite people over - even if my house wasn't as clean as I would've like"
that being said - what is wrong w/sharing a bathroom - you are sharing their house as well. A good guest comes with their own toiletries. I agree with always having clean sheets and blankets - but bring your own pillow - just in case you're picky. As far as food - have an abundance of delicious food and always consider what the guest might like. and serving on paper plates definately makes life alot easier - try dixie cause they're strong enough yet inexpensive and nice looking. If you really want to go all out try a fancy paper good place and go for it check out: http://www.blumspapergoods.com
I think the most important thing of all is to have an open heart and an open home Flower

shoy18

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 9:02 pm

amother wrote:

I would stay in a hotel but I travel for business, and generally try to help with the travel costs by not demanding a hotel. I am doing my host a favor by not demanding better accomodations. And be thankful what I get for free? Is that what you tell your parents when they come visit? Or your machatonim? Thats the reaction of a Shlepper. There is a reason hachnasa orchim is such a big mitzvah. You could have your guests sleep on the floor , and eat instant soup for supper but that would make you a crappy host with a bad attitude. (Which considering your reaction is probably true.)

all those people you listed are close relatives, not complete strangers, and again if you dont like the free accommodation's you are given, go to a hotel. Otherwise bring your own linen and soap!!!!

Tefila

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 9:11 pm

As a hostess I would tend to agree, but as a guest sorry but you sound very ungrateful Confused

You are lucky you have someone offer you a roof over your head .

If you can't stand the noise of the kids hello go stay in an old age home Exclamation

And if you can't stand the soap well next time bring your own, it doesn't cost much to buy. Exclamation

Quote:

One couple even "lent" us a blanket right off of their own bed!

Though that may sound appalling perhaps they were being concerned about your warmth.............. who knows. Confused

Perhaps someone should compile a list for being the perfect guest in an ideal world Rolling Eyes

Oh you know Reb Zushya of Hanipoly who was incredibly poor prob couldn't afford a maid etc, had guests the whole time. And mind you I am not sure anyone ever complained when they were just served watered down soup Exclamation

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 9:12 pm

"all those people you listed are close relatives, not complete strangers"

So complete strangers get treated like **** cuz you dont have to suck up to them? Thats very revealing about your character. I suppose if you were a guest in my home you might have zero regard for our belongings considering we were complete strangers.

"Otherwise bring your own linen" Cuz youre too lazy to wash yours?

"Oh and I forgot - Kids are people too" yes, and u are teaching them to be the same kind of inconsiderate hosts u are.

"You sound very ungreatful." I would be more appreciative of an honest "my kids are really wild and I dont know if you guys can handle it..." or "are living quarters are a little cramped, do u mind sharing a bathroom". Not "You MUST stay by us, we'll have a great time!!" Yes, you will have a great time but we wont.

Anyways theres nothing to argue about. Like I said, most frum women pose as menchen but really are slobs.

cindy324

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 9:12 pm

Quote:

I think the most important thing of all is to have an open heart and an open home

Unfortunately that idea is completely lost on amother. Rolling Eyes

Sweetie I don't know how "choshuv" you think you are, but unless you're the queen of England, why should people bring out their finest china for you??

Quote:

I am doing my host a favor by not demanding better accomodations.

Oh, really? How silly of me, here I was thinking your hosts are doing a favor for YOU , by putting you up, so that you can "help" with travel costs. You sound a bit (major understatement) prissy and snooty, so I think you and your future unsuspecting hosts would be a lot better off if you booked yourself into a hotel, where you can make all the demands you want. Don't forget to tip the hotel staff , though!

rainbow

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 9:23 pm

I frequently play the guest part, especially on Yomim Tovim. As a guest I always pack my own linen, toiletries, and plenty of food for myself. I always request my own apartment, as I cannot handle other kids' noises.
I pack my own linen so that the hostess doesn't have the added chore of washing my slept-on linen.
I pack my own toiletries because I expect that as a busy mother she may not have remembered this detail.
I pack plenty of extra food because I do expect my hostess will cook foods that I do not like, and I don't want to go hungry.
I pack my own towels because I don't expect my hostess to play the maid part.
I have certainly seen soiled diapers strewn around and was thankful I have my own apartment to retreat to.
Sandwiches for the ride home, hmm , that has indeed been a problem for me. I think next time I shall pack some extra bags of non-perishables.

anon

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 11:24 pm

amother wrote:

I'm still gasping for air.

THE WHOLE TIME I WAS READING THIS, I ASSUMED IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!!!

And then I read the responses to your post, and your responses to those, and I'm starting to become more convinced that you're SERIOUS! shock

Please someone tell me this is a joke? I'm waiting for the punchline!

shanie5

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 11:45 pm

Quote:

1. A married couple needs a bedroom and (clean) separate bathroom. If you dont have a separate bathroom, and we will be using the bathroom your kids just took a bath in,or that you and your husband use, please reconsider the invitation.

I guess I cant have guests anymore cuz I only have the one bathroom on the floor w/ the bedrooms.

Quote:

2. Please supply a fresh bar of soap. The old soap bar and loofah in the guest bathroom is gross.

soap by definition is a "cleanser". if its that bad, run it under water for a minute and any residue will wash off. or carry some body wash w/ you-it dont take up much room.

Quote:

2. Clean sheets! Its obvious when you dont change the sheets between guests and possibly the most offensive thing you can possibly do. It's really horrifying but quite a few people I know havent bothered. One couple even "lent" us a blanket right off of their own bed!

um, obvious how? clean but old sheets dont neccessarily look fresh but are. as for the blanket, they gave up theirs to keep u warm and you're complaining??? not everybody is able to stockpile blankets in their homes.

Quote:

3. Please supply an extra pillow, especially if the pillows on the beds are old and lumpy.

maybe the only 'extra' pillow is from their bed, and we KNOW u dont want that one.

Quote:

4. "Help yourself to the fridge" is a cop-out. I cant tell whats in your fridge or how old it is. A host has to offer a freshly made meal of some sort. Please dont serve us leftovers on dinky paper plates with plastic forks.

Help yourself is the same as make yourself at home-a very welcome and relxed atmosphere. cook fresh food for you? if that is not part of my dinner plans, why?? a guest should be served whatever the family is eating. and on whatever the family eats on too.

Quote:

5. As cute as your kids are, we cannot carry on a conversation when they are all screaming and running around the dinner table. You may be used to it, but we are getting a migraine.

so maybe they should pay for a babysitter to watch their kids during dinner? you came to the house knowing they had kids, did you specify that they shouldnt be there for meals cuz u dont like it?

Quote:

6. A messy house is disgusting and dirty diapers strewn about make us want to get the heck out asap.

well, did u offer $ for a cleaning lady to clean up before u arrived? these people werent traveling all day, they had their normal lives to live and that does not always include a spotless house-especially not when one has children.

Quote:

7. We can make sandwiches for our flight in but for our flight out, please prepare an adequate amount of food so that we dont have to buy bagels in cvs on the way to the airport.

well, if there is no place to buy any kosher food your point would be valid. but what right do you have to expect s/o to know that you want to take a picnic home w/ you as opposed to buying something on the way? or even if they know you want food, that they should prepare a care package that is adequate for u? bring some tuna w/ you and make your own.

these are not basics, they are the demands of a very selfish person.
basics include: a bed, clean sheets and a welcoming smile from the host. its nice if a host supplied extras, but not obligatory!!!!!!!!