'Runaway Bride' | Imamother

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'Runaway Bride'

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Pearl

Wed, May 11 2005, 6:07 am

no, it wasn't hear-say....... Crying

supermom

Wed, May 11 2005, 6:35 am

how long were they engaged for before it was broken off? sorry for being nosy. and please don't cry. Sad

Pearl

Wed, May 11 2005, 7:00 am

I think they were engaged for a few months, I don't remember exactly. it's about 4 years ago.
I don't know if it's important to know, but she is not frum btw.

and don't apologize for being nosy - I don't mind at all being asked questions, you know that! Wink

PIP

Wed, May 11 2005, 9:31 pm

I had a teacher in school, whos future husband just didnt show up to the wedding. Now shes not young at all, and still unmarried...some people can be so cruel.

amother

Wed, May 25 2005, 6:25 pm

so.... shes been indicted and prob going to serve time in jail for a few years.. heck screw jail- put her into a mental institution.

AbosolutelyMine

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 12:22 am

It's better to break off an engagement that to walk under the chupah with a man you have no feelings for...

queen

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 8:17 am

mind my ignorance..... but does anyone know of someone who actually got engaged/married to someone they didn't care that much about???

amother

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 8:39 am

AbosolutelyMine wrote:

It's better to break off an engagement that to walk under the chupah with a man you have no feelings for...

shes jewish? interesting..

queen

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 9:17 am

I believe AbosolutelyMine was saying a general rule, and not specifically regarding this runaway woman.

Pearl

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 9:42 am

Quote:

queen wrote:

mind my ignorance..... but does anyone know of someone who actually got engaged/married to someone they didn't care that much about???

yes, it does happen....... Confused

supermom

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 12:51 pm

sadly to say it does happen but a lot of times they learn to love the person over time.

queen

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 1:41 pm

what in heavens name are these ppl thinking???????????????????????

smile

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 5:13 pm

Sometimes they have not much choice. I know of ppl being pushed by the parents. I know of someone whose parents made all the choice and let her meet him for an 1/2 hour. Just to see if she can look at him. They got engaged. But in her engagement time she wanted to see him again so the parents told her to look out of the window while her future husband was walking past. But they did not tell him anything.

queen

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 6:33 pm

and these parents expect them to have a healthy relationship??????

stem

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 7:13 pm

Chassidish people do it like that very often. The parents pick the boy and even meet with him first. The girl gets to meet him 1-4 times before they get officially engaged. The engagement could last a year, and they not only don't see each other, but only talk on the phone MAYBE before YomTov for a special occasion. I have met girls like this, and they don't know any different.

AbosolutelyMine

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 7:16 pm

I don't understand how logically such a thing can happen. How can you meet somoene for 1/2 hour and decide to spend the rest of your life with him? It's true that you don't know a person until you live with them... but.. it's nutos!

I konw someoner personally... a great girl who after she was engaged realized that her groom to be was not the right one for her. she cried to her parents before the wedding, but eveyrone thought that it was just cold feet...
she walked down the chupah with a guy she didnt' like and unfortunately, got divorced shortly after.

I dont think she is much to blame becuase breaking an engagement in the fum communities is considrered such a sin...
but bottom line is.. its better to break off an engagement than after....

queen

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 8:26 pm

personally while dating my husband, already by the second date he 'won' me as I felt VERY comfortable with him, which had never happ'd before, and I'd dated for numerous years. BUT we had spoken several times on the phone between date 1 and 2, plus our first date was VERRRRY long.

By the fourth date I began liking him........
By the sixth date I was pretty much done, but not "there" just yet. (ready to get engaged)
My husband needed more time, but after the 11th date I already met his parents........ and then the next time we got engaged!!

HOW IN HEAVENS NAME DO THEY DO IT IN 30 MINUTES!!!!

I wonder if they reallllllly love their husbands, or have to learn over time to love him through giving..... I mean, how can one even do some stuff after the wedding with someone they basically have very little feelings for??

Why don't I get it???????

Tefila

Wed, Jun 08 2005, 9:31 pm

Queen love your tiara, would you consider lending it out? So I wont be a Queen in theory, but in looks too Tongue Out

queen

Thu, Jun 09 2005, 1:07 am

for the right price!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(thanks for the compliment, as I like it too. Very feminine.)

Pearl

Thu, Jun 09 2005, 5:31 am

LOVE your tiara, queen, every little girl's dream!

and back to your question, unfortunately, there are couples who don't like eachother, are being told they will learn to love eachother in time, and then it never happens, but still stay married (because of the children, and because of pressure from society....) and I find that very sad (+ I think it does more damage than good to the children, but that's off topic!)

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