Q and A about Chaseedishe life

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mir11

Tue, Apr 04 2006, 12:27 pm

here's another filter very cheap

www.thefilternet.com

amother

Tue, Apr 04 2006, 9:20 pm

Thanks

. That was thoughtful of you both. I'll look into those filter sites.

imale

Thu, Apr 20 2006, 5:42 pm

Kept looking for this site but was away when it started and I just found it now. Well....... didn't plan on reading sooo many pages but I really got a kick out of it. For those of us who know so little about Satmar this was a real eye opener, thanx Mindy and everyone else.

And to the Broken-hearted amother is your email still valid?

mod

Sun, Nov 19 2006, 5:38 pm

This thread was split from "how the chaseedishe world dates"

happymom

Sun, Nov 19 2006, 8:45 pm

Quote:

In Satmar the girls are only taught yiddish and english. So even if I open a sefer in loshon kodesh it is like french to me. We do learn the yiddish transalation of all tefillos, tehillim, But basicly it is that we probably learn whatever anybody else learns only we do it in yiddish, not directly from seforim. All our kodesh studies are in yiddish.
Our english curriculum is on a very high level. But b'h we don't do regents.

why cant girls learn in loshon kodesh? whats wrong with that??

mother48

Sun, Nov 19 2006, 11:14 pm

I'm posting this q under my name so you know it's authentic. this is s/t I've wonderd about,and hope you don't mind my asking. my apol in advance if s/o finds this offensive in any way.

Friday night is the holiest night to be with you husband. but how does it work with going to the Rebbe's tish all night?

Mama Bear

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 12:02 am

You do it before or after the tish! and the tish doesnt necessarily last 'all night'.

amother

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:00 am

My husband for example doesn't go to a tish.

We either go out together Friday Night or Stay home together. (Unless I can't have a neighbor to babysit-then he goes for a few minutes to a Zochor if he has to or I go to a Shabbos Sheva Brochos for a few minutes if I have to.) But usually I can have one of my neighbors babysit.

My husband isn't Satmar but my brother is but he also doesn't go to a tish. He stays home with his wife. Some men go and some don't. Some women go and their men stay home

they are bigger Chassidim than their men. Kallahs go to see their Chassanim if applicable.

To make it a little clear. Satmar is a very big Chassidus ranging from one type to a completely different type. We all follow the same basic guidelines but other than that you would be surprised how different one family is from another.

Mindy, May I use you for an example??
Mindy and I are both satmar graduates. I am not sure exactly who she is but I know from her posts that she grew up in a frummer family than mine. My family is well-known in Satmar, yet I dress totally different from Mindy. All of us basically go with custom shaitels, including sisters, sisters-in-law, cousins. Many of us do not wear bullet proof stockings although I try to go with not-thin stockings. Then I have a friend who her whole family goes with shpitzels only and they lead a much frummer life, yet both of us are from Satmar families. You probably would see me or some of my friends or cousins and probably not think that we are Satmar since many people think that satmars can only go with covered sheitels and we would be too fashionable looking. But the fact is that we have all different kinds.

By our Shabbos table both the boys and girls and my mother were included in the Torah discussion and my father was very happy if we had a dvar Torah to say. I also discussed Torah issues a lot with my brothers and still do sometimes nowadays.

I watched movies as a girl, read magazines. It's something that's definitely frowned upon in the Chassidishe Velt in general but each family does their own thing according to their own level.

I can say that I grew up pretty open-minded. I guess I had many open-minded friends as well. Of course nothing is perfect but for those who cannot understand our way of life and those that think we are not open enough to see what's going on, rest-assured that we know what the outside world is like and we are happy with what we are, and why shouldn't we.

amother

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 1:42 am

amother wrote:

What would be the average reaction of Chassidishe parents to a daughter or son telling them that they want to be very frum, BUT dont want to dress Chassidish, they want to look LITVISH (no shtreimels, no hats on top of sheitels, no Williamsburgy looking clothing, let's say like the average Lakewooder, etc. How would typical Chassidishe parents react? What would they do? What have the people in your neighborhood done when faced with this kind of a dilemna?

amother

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 2:08 am

amother wrote:

Without singling out any one Chassidishe group , is it true that morality has hit a low in recent years, and infidelity AND an increase in the divorce rate has crept into Chassidishe peoples lives more than ever before? If it is true , why do you think it's happening?

MyKidsRQte

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 8:45 pm

[quote="amother"

Without singling out any one Chassidishe group , is it true that morality has hit a low in recent years, and infidelity AND an increase in the divorce rate has crept into Chassidishe peoples lives more than ever before? If it is true , why do you think it's happening?[/quote]

IMO, Its because they grow up so sheltered and then they get hit by hit by the reality of the real world

Crayon210

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 9:08 pm

That's silly. Morality has hit an all-time low in all communities, Jewish and (l'havdil) not.

amother

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 10:58 pm

Quote:

IMO, Its because they grow up so sheltered and then they get hit by hit by the reality of the real world.

Comments like these make me want to stop answering questions. No matter how much we'll say some will keep on having the same views on Chassidishe girls no matter what.
If reading magazines and watching videos and learning basically all that you do is considered sheltered by you then I have nothing more to say.

In any case. Morality has a hit a low all over. Nobody's immune including Chassidim.

Quote:

As I said before, our way of dressing ranges from one type to the next. Heck, I live in Williamsburg, am involved in a few organizations but according to your post you would probably think I don't live there. As I said before, I go with a nice shaitel, wear skirts and tops (long and regular). I have many friends who dress like me and most of my family dress this way. We are probably considered more of the fancier type in Williamsburg but there are plenty of us.
On the other hand there are those who cover their wigs with hats and those that go with shpitzels. Usually the daughters go the way their mother goes but there have been quite a few times where the daughter has put on a more "modern" type of hair covering than her mother. And also vice versa, where the girl has put on an even more Chumradik headcovering than her mother. I don't know how the families reacted in those situations but I guess it must have been an issue. Mens Levush like shtreimels, I haven't yet heard of girls not wanting that. By now it's a style in addition to a Chassidish Levush.
I know of only one girl who did not want to marry a Shtreimel and she got her wish. Her parents were smart enough to do what's best for their daughter.

Mevater

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 11:38 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

IMO, Its because they grow up so sheltered and then they get hit by hit by the reality of the real world.

I find it interesting that if Chassidishe people are having fidelity issues, we excuse it as the times we live in. But the Chassidishe main goal of their lifestyle is to live and dress think and act as people did many years ago in the Shtetl, and not surrender to any pressures.

If we'd hear of Amish people having extramarital affairs, or sodomy for that matter, we'd gag and say- They're nuts, they shelter their kids to a great degree and live as in the olden days, but don't excommunicate members that they know had affairs, which is trangression of one of the main principles of ALL religions?

Mama Bear

Mon, Nov 20 2006, 11:55 pm

amother wrote:

This doesnt really happen.If a chasidishe boy wants to drop his chasidishe observance,he doesnt become litvish. He becomes a rebel. Shaving your beard and dropping the hat is not becoming 'litvish'. It's 'throwing away my chinuch and how I was raised' and is usually a cry for help or attention.

Crayon210

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 12:28 am

letsbehonest wrote:

amother wrote:

Quote:

IMO, Its because they grow up so sheltered and then they get hit by hit by the reality of the real world.

Really? It is?

Blossom

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 11:16 am

Quote:

But the Chassidishe main goal of their lifestyle is to live and dress think and act as people did many years ago in the Shtetl, and not surrender to any pressures.

LOL, Sorry, couldn't keep myself back. That must be a new version of what Chassishe lifestyle is all about. I guess you learn something new everyday.

amother

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 11:25 am

Quote:

althougn I know a few satmar ppl who have become lubavitch or some other group

happymom

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 11:26 am

can someone please answer my question about hebrew??? whats wrong with a girl reading or learning in Loshon Hakodesh? I mean shmoneh esrei and davening is in hebrew Confused

Motek

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 11:30 am

amother wrote:

Huh?! Are you representative of Chassidishe girls in general or only those on this forum? Are you saying that the average Chassidishe girl in Boro Park, New Square, KJ, and Williamsburgh reads magazines and watches videos, not to mention uses the Internet?

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