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-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
amother
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Sun, Oct 30 2011, 12:27 am
I've suspected it for a while, but my 4yo ds's behavior therapist insists this is not the case and that he's just impulsive. She also says you can't diagnose ADHD until you're 6...
So I should maybe get a second opinion, but I wanted to see what people with experience thought.
- He's incredibly impulsive, to the point he can be a danger to himself (letting go of my hand to run across a busy street, climbing onto the banister of the second story of a mall and almost falling... And he's FAST. this wasn't negligence. I was right there holding his hand!)
- you can talk to him until you're blue in the face and he's just... not there... Unless HE asks YOU a question, then whatever you answer is memorized verbatim forever. I don't know if he's purposefully ignoring me, or if he has an attention problem.
- He moves slowly and often have to physically redirect him (Like, if I ask him to go to the bathroom before we leave, there is no response unless I take his hand, lead him to the bathroom and point at the toilet (then of course he'll freak out at me and say he doesn't have to go)
- He has a hard time sitting still (although he's gotten MUCH better at it in the past year... Circle time in school used to be a total nightmare... Leaning on his friends, hugging them, playing duck duck goose in the middle of davening... But I think that is now in the past and he is able to sit still.)
I just don't know. As he gets older, he has gotten a lot easier... But I feel like I can't reach him sometimes... Like his ears are stuffed, or like I'm speaking another language...
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amother
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Sun, Oct 30 2011, 1:04 am
My child is similar and I suspect at least ADD.
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Dolly Welsh
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Sun, Oct 30 2011, 1:34 am
I don't know if this is your style, but I could recommend giving him a lot to work with. Meaning, a lot of paper to draw, crayons appropriate for his age, clay, colored paper pieces to stick down. Lots of stuffed animals, small ones being fine, if they are age-appropriate and have no loose or pull-off-able parts. There's a lot going on in that head and he will use all these materials to make order and organize it all.
I am not a professional. It's just a thought. I am hoping that when he can make the stuffed bunny run across an imaginery street at top speed, there will be less need to actually do that himself in real life.
He's only 4. Yes, 6 is very, very different from 4.
Make sure DH plays with him a lot, physically, throwing him up and all, and also exerting authority. DH's big paw will not release him crossing the street no matter how hard he pulls. He needs a male model of strength and authority that over-rides his impulses. He will internalize it later. A man's kind but firm touch is especially important with a boy like this one, IMHO.
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Oct 30 2011, 1:48 am
amother wrote: | I've suspected it for a while, but my 4yo ds's behavior therapist insists this is not the case and that he's just impulsive. She also says you can't diagnose ADHD until you're 6...
So I should maybe get a second opinion, but I wanted to see what people with experience thought.
- He's incredibly impulsive, to the point he can be a danger to himself (letting go of my hand to run across a busy street, climbing onto the banister of the second story of a mall and almost falling... And he's FAST. this wasn't negligence. I was right there holding his hand!)
- you can talk to him until you're blue in the face and he's just... not there... Unless HE asks YOU a question, then whatever you answer is memorized verbatim forever. I don't know if he's purposefully ignoring me, or if he has an attention problem.
- He moves slowly and often have to physically redirect him (Like, if I ask him to go to the bathroom before we leave, there is no response unless I take his hand, lead him to the bathroom and point at the toilet (then of course he'll freak out at me and say he doesn't have to go)
- He has a hard time sitting still (although he's gotten MUCH better at it in the past year... Circle time in school used to be a total nightmare... Leaning on his friends, hugging them, playing duck duck goose in the middle of davening... But I think that is now in the past and he is able to sit still.)
I just don't know. As he gets older, he has gotten a lot easier... But I feel like I can't reach him sometimes... Like his ears are stuffed, or like I'm speaking another language... |
Regarding the not listening - first of all you should take him to have his hearing tested. They play fun games, and it's not scary at all. If his hearing is fine, then you need to find an Occupational Therapist and have him evaluated for Auditory Processing Disorder. My daughter has this, and what you described is exactly what she's like. You tell her to go get her shoes, and she looks at you like you're speaking Chinese! It takes a while for her to absorb the words and translate them into an action. You need an immense amount of patience to deal with it, and most importantly, don't lose your temper and get mad. With APD, they are moving as fast as they possibly can, even though to you it feels like they're moving through molasses.
The impulsiveness can be because of his age, but it's definitely something to keep an eye on. The touching could mean that he is sensory seeking. If he has something to fidget with in his hands, will he sit still longer? Does he seem drawn to certain textures, like he just can't stop himself from touching them?
Go through this checklist http://www.sensory-processing-......html and see how much describes your son. I think you'll start to get a more comprehensive picture of what's going on with him. Print it out and then you can take it to your next pediatrician appointment.
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amother
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Sun, Oct 30 2011, 1:53 am
Different amother here. Is there anything that can tell me if I should have my son evaluated for APD? The op described him to a T.
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Oct 30 2011, 2:46 am
amother wrote: | Different amother here. Is there anything that can tell me if I should have my son evaluated for APD? The op described him to a T. |
Like I said earlier, you have to rule out hearing problems first. My DD had to have her tonsils and adenoids out, and ear tubes put in. Once her hearing cleared up, only THEN could she get diagnosed for APD. Use the checklist I posted above, and talk to your pediatrician about getting your DS evaluated by an OT and an ENT.
Good grief, do you ever feel like you're typing in alphabet soup?
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