dayeinu | Imamother

cuties' mom

Thu, Apr 28 2011, 3:19 pm

My son's pesach story

Pesach 2007, I went to my mother-in-law with my refluxy, eczema covered, allergic 4 month old and a box of oat matzahs as I was unable to consume any milk, eggs, peanuts, soy, wheat, tree nuts, fish, tomatoes, celery, green beans, mustard, or sesame products until we figured out what my poor baby was allergic to. Before the seder, I settled my baby down in the crib in the attic. My sister-in-law assured me that she never had trouble hearing her kids from the attic. I enjoyed the seder, going up to check on my sleeping baby every half hour, until my sister-in-law went up to her screaming baby and heard mine. There is no way of knowing how long he was crying as his cries clearly were not heard downstairs. He worked himself up to the worse eczema flare he ever had and we spent chol hamoed in the hospital. That was the last pesach that we used MIL's attic.

Pesach 2008, I went to my mother-in-law with my adorable but still allergic one-year-old, a few containers of soymilk, (I asked a shaila about giving soy on pesach since ds was allergic to milk, eggs and peanuts,) soy yogurts, baby food since ds still didnt' know how to chew, and egg and nut free pesach cakes for me to eat since I was still nursing. I didn't tell anyone that I was pregnant as I went down the rickety basement steps to put all my safe food in the fridge downstairs. I spent most of the seder upstairs with my crying child who couldn't deal with the stimulation that his cousins provided over yom tov. On motzei the first days, it took several hours to get ds to go to sleep. He finally went to sleep and I snuck down the rickety basement steps for a snack. I was trying to be quiet so nobody would know I was downstairs, when I landed in a heap at the bottom of the steps. That was the last pesach that we put allergy safe food in the basement fridge.

Pesach 2009, I went to my mother-in-law with a two-year-old and an infant. I brought along egg and nut free cakes which went in the regular fridge. My baby spent a lot of time on the floor with his baby cousins, but my 2-year-old wanted to be held the whole time. He knew something was going on, but was unable to speak a single word, so whatever questions he had remained unasked. He wanted to be part of whatever it was that was going on, but was scared of the noise and the crowd. The only times he left my arms were when I nursed his brother.

Pesach 2010, I went to my mother-in-law with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. My one-year-old kept himself entertained crawling around the house. My 3-year-old wanted desperately to be included in his cousins' play. On the rare occasion when he got up the courage to ask to join in, he was shunned and ridiculed for his unclear speech. It was obvious that he wasn't just "one of the kids" and it seemed as if everyone was going out of their way to make him miserable.

Pesach 2011, I went to my mother-in-law with my 4-year-old, 2-year-old, nut free cakes and cookies, a preschool hagada, afikomen bag and pillow, and a set of uno cards. The first night of yom tov, I put yds to sleep and went back downstairs to get ods ready for bed. I saw he was engaged in an uno game with 2 of his cousins and settled down to watch. Conversation flowed freely throughout the game and I saw that ds was understood by his cousins. When it was time for the seder, ds took his place at the table, holding his precious hagada. BIL asked my nephew to sing kadeish orchatz. Immediately, ds sang it loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. After kiddush, ds stood in the kitchen and reminded everyone "nishted mach a bracha". The entire seder, ds knew what to do and told everyone- in yiddish! The rest of pesach passed peacefully with ods playing happily with his cousins.

I look at my 2-year-old who was recently diagnosed with pdd. I wonder how will his pesach be in 2 years from now?