Name things only a jewish mother would say! lol !

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 07 2006 Posts: 5709

EX- 1. "Go to the party ! " you might meet someone"!

2. Are you O.k. ? after you have been in the bathroom
for only three minutes. Laughing

Jewish Mothers (www.bangitout.com)
.
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
" Nu, After all that money your father and I spent for you on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"So Mister Big Sailor Boy, I don't care what you discovered, how come you didn't once even write a postcard!"

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Can't you paint on walls like all the other kids? You maybe no idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Hokay, so if you ain't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you maybe wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better! grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Listen to me Please Abie, for your own good I'm telling you: it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do maybe something about your hair? Something. Ah comb, maybe?

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"The next time I catch you throwing good money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A nice story. A wonderful story. A writer you should be. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

Things A Jewish Mother Would Never Say (www.bangitout.com)

"Marry him? Just live with him.....I don't need any grandchildren"

"Be good, and for your birthday, I'll buy you a motorcycle!"

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

"Don't bother wearing a jacket - it's quite warm out."

"Let me smell that shirt - yeah, it's good for another week."

"I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity."

"Yeah, I used to skip school, too."

"Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house more cheery."

"Could you make the music louder. I'd like to hear it, too?"

"I don't have a tissue - use your sleeve."

"Well, if Timmy's Mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me."

"Of course you should walk to school and back. What's the big deal about crossing a few busy streets?"

"Would you kids like to skip dinner tonight?"

"If she wants you to move back East to live near her family, it's fine with me."

"Mother's day, Shmother's Day you just go to the beach and enjoy yourselves."

"You don't have to call me every week. I know how busy you are."

"Your father's a saint. You should only be just like him."

"You are so lucky to have your in-laws"

Posted: Tue, Jul 25 2006, 8:48 pm Post subject:

Seriously now, how many of your mothers really fit this stereotype? Mine definitely does not!
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Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Gold Member Joined: Oct 19 2004 Posts: 1108

When I would complain about my fat legs, my mother, alva shalom, used to say, "do you know how many people in wheeelchairs would be happy to have your legs?" I still think about that on fat days!

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 07 2006 Posts: 5709

Carrot -
thank G-d my mother was not like that. Very Happy

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 07 2006 Posts: 5709

My parents would say their are kids in such and such place
who are starving.so EAT!

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 17 2005 Posts: 5505

binah ty 4 posting!!! Laughing

"Ok, leave the greens, but at least EAT THE MEAT!" Laughing

2mins later:
"Ok, do you want French fries instead of greens?"
Laughing

Silver Member Joined: Mar 23 2006 Posts: 642

OMG! Ruchel, I just did that last night Laughing

Silver Member Joined: Sep 09 2004 Posts: 548

"when the parent is tired the child goes to sleep"
"when the parent is hungry the child eats"
"when the parent is cold the child wears a sweater"
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AFS-04/04
MYS-08/05
BRS-11/06

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 07 2006 Posts: 5709

Imanut that was cute!

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 07 2006 Posts: 5709

why are you wearing your glasses 8) !

I edited this for a picture ^ see above of a emoticons with glasses .

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 03 2006 Posts: 2620

"Get your hair out of your face!"

my baby sitter (who is the mother & grandmother to quite a few yiddishe kinderlach) told me that she was so worried that my baby wouldn't eat while she was at her house. She said it like this...

"She was playing so much. How could she not be hungry? I tried bread and peaches and cereal and plum, I even gave her a cookie. She wouldn't even take a cookie. I've never seen a child who didn't want a cookie!! She just nibbled a little on everything."

I calmed her down and told her not to worry, my baby only eats for fun she just turned 8month and anyway she is considered overweight. I reassured her that she does eat just that she prefers that her food comes from the source (ME). Plus she had only been there for 4 hrs!

Then on the way home she fell alseep and slept for an hour. The whole time I fretted that she must be starving.

Who ever said Jewish mothers were obsessed with their children eating? Wink

A rich Jewish man had just purchased a yacht. What did he name it?
The "S S MEIN KINDT"
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Life is short, enjoy it.

Posted: Sun, Sep 24 2006, 9:14 pm Post subject:

I said no. Why? Because you�re too young!!!

A minute later�

I said no! Why? Because you don�t act your age.

Ever notice how Jewish mothers suddenly bump you up to the age of your next birthday when it is convenient? How confusing to never be your age!

When I was young and beautiful Embarassed

spending time to make myself look my best, I would ask my mother "how do I look?"

Her reply?
"You'll do... in a crowd... if nobody's looking."