mix schooling | Imamother

amother

Tue, Aug 31 2004, 10:26 pm

is it ok to send your child to a mix, orthodox, religeous school under bar or bat mitzvah? what is your oppinion and guidance

Rivka

Wed, Sep 01 2004, 5:41 pm

I don't know but I don't think halachically it is wrong to.
Some schools seperate the older years in the kodesh studies if it is a mixed school.

Rochel Leah

Thu, Sep 02 2004, 9:55 am

in south africa where I grew up, my school wasnt mixed but till bar/bat mitzvah we were on the same campus as the boys. preschool was mixed.
is there another option? if this is all you have then I thinks its ok, but I am not a rav. if you are that concerend , have you though about homeschooling?

Liba

Sun, Oct 03 2004, 4:21 pm

Our only option is mixed classes for the lower grades. I assume that since that is how the Lubavitch schools here have been for the previous two generations and remain to this day it has to be halachikly acceptable.

FWIW I think my FIL and DH both turned out okay, despite mixed classes up until 4th grade for Hebrew and 6th grade for English.

su7kids

Mon, Oct 04 2004, 2:59 am

Our school goes to 8th grade, and all classes are mixed, its a Chabad Day School, and from 6th grade up, the boys and girls are separated for Navi and Gemorah only. Even Chumash, etc, are all mixed.

The children THEMSELVES separate themselves and have nothing to do with each other, but it IS a problem, but its the way it is, and the education is good, and its enough that I have to send my children away for HIGH school, I'm not sending them away for middle school, so we "deal with it".

sharon

Mon, Oct 11 2004, 8:20 am

We send our kids to a co-ed school. Until grade 6 they are mixed and thereafter separated for limudei kodesh and english. I have found that by grade 3 the boys and girls already tend to separate, socially. I really don't know why they don't do it earlier but, I have enough issues to worry about with schooling.

sharon

Mon, May 09 2005, 6:14 pm

no, I'm not worried because they know the "right from the wrong" based on the midot that you instill in them at home. So far b'h we have had nothing to worry about. my daughter has no interest to mingle with the boys (she's in grade eight 8), and my son doesn't show any interest in girls (he's in grade 5). There are always those kids who like to "mingle" but b'h.

proudmom

Mon, May 09 2005, 6:29 pm

The reason why I am worried IF I would send my kids to a mix school is because this generation is getting weaker. I dont want my kids to be corrupted. My husband wants to send my kids to a school that is only mixed for english studies but I am not happy with that, because I am scared and worried how they will turn out. The boys yeshivah here in Montreal is not the greatest place for learning english studies. They learn till 3 and whichever parent wants their son to learn english studies they stay till 4:30 and I feel that is too much for a child. They also learn on Sundays. the school my DH is looking into is till 3 and there is no school on sunday and the tuition is half the price.

sharon

Mon, May 09 2005, 6:44 pm

yes, people are getting weaker BUT, if your child has the strong/open relationship at home then you don't have what to worry about. Also, don't forget, when your children are young, it is the parent who can decide who they want their children to play with and that leads the path when they are older, they will know who to gear towards or not to. So, you are in full control until they are old enough, 8-9 years old, to vocalize who they would like to mingle with/not. Rearing kids is not an easy feat in the least!

elisecohen

Mon, May 09 2005, 7:20 pm

We had our kids at one school, the one with the "right" hashgofo, where all classes were separate--until we found that our 2nd grade dd was getting teased, beaten up on the playground, and having her lunch stolen--yes, but the other GIRLS. Meanwhile, our younger dd was getting very little out of her classes, basically being ignored. We homeschooled for several years, and this year have our children at a different school, one where a lot of our friends would never dream of sending their children, and where the classes are mixed and guess what--all the kids are doing well, getting a good solid Jewish education, and are totally accepted socially.

I would pick a good mixed school that will serve and educate your children over a single-gender environment that won't!

stem

Mon, May 09 2005, 8:25 pm

When you live out of town there is no choice. Our day school is mixed, and all the kids in the community attend. There are the children of the Rosh Yeshiva and Rabeim, and the children who's father may not be Jewish, and everyone in between. I think the older grades are separate in almost everything, even lunch, but they are still considered in the same class. The 8th grade even goes on their trip to Washington together (with separate chaperones of course). We are very happy with the school and the quality of the education and all the teachers.

AweSumThenSum

Mon, May 09 2005, 8:27 pm

amother, where is this school located? I have yet to hear of an orthodox school that is co-ed until bar/bat mitzvah. or are u refering to a school that has sept. classes for boys and girls but only one lunchroom/playground so that the students mingle?

stem

Mon, May 09 2005, 8:44 pm

Many small communities around the country have co-ed orthodox day schools. Just do some research, there are dozens. Many fine Yeshiva bachurim, and bais yaakov girls started out in one of these schools.