Questions about twins

cnaanr

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 6:30 pm

currently at end of pregnancy with twins so I feel for you, I stayed with my ob but she is high risk anyway, most important is that you go for frequent sonograms and that those techs are good b/c thats how they usually discover problems. I was very high risk but mine are identical. the first few months of pregnancy was actually better than with my singletons, I was less naucious and didnt feel sick but I was not normally tired, always in bed by 8. I gained about 25lbs and only have a few weeks left so dont think I will gain more than 30 and babies are fine weights so far. I also have a 1 year old and this is # 4 and 5 for me. I just hired help at home every day b/c I am way too tired and immobile to do anything around the house and chase after baby. I told my parents and inlaws from beg. but only told siblings recently, I would suggest to tell family b/c they can help you physically, financially and emotionally. If your husband does go to work and is out of house most of day you will need some help at end of pregnancy and after they are born. for now eat healthy food, take your multi plus more iron, drink lots of milk or take extra calcium... pm me with any questions
bshaa tova

tovarena

Thu, Apr 29 2010, 8:24 am

SivanMom wrote:

My doctor said that I can stay with my current practice. Is that what you did? Or do you switch to high risk, or to a practice that specializes in multiples, if that exists?

Like others have answered, I stayed with my current practice and saw a perinatologist for extra monitoring. It was my OB that was on call and that did the delivery (in the area where I live, perinatologists do not deliver ever).

SivanMom wrote:

A couple of sites I looked at recommended gaining a minimum of 45 pounds! I'm overweight, a good 30 pounds more than when I got married. If I gain 45 pounds, I'll be a walking elephant. Is it true that that's how much I should gain? My doctor didn't mention it today. I gained 15 with my first, 25 with my second.

I started out my twin pregnancy pretty overweight too. My OB told me that if I didn't gain a single pound the entire pregnancy, as long as I was eating correctly, he would be completely satisfied. As it turns out, I lost 11 pounds during the first trimester (uch - pretty ugly morning...er...all-day sickness). And I gained 28 pounds total. Babies were 6lb 15 oz and 6lb 11 oz. 6 weeks post-partum I weighed 15 pounds less than I was at the start of the pregnancy.

SivanMom wrote:

This questions is really concerning me now. Were you able to go back to work after you had twins? I currently work from my home, around 5 hours a day. My two kids, currently age 3.5 and 21 months are in playgroup, and I work around 3.5 hours during the day, and another 1.5 hours at night - flexible. I can't imagine getting much work done with twins around, so I would have to send them out to a babysitter. That would be 4.5 hours a day, times 2 kids, subtracted from my income. And then I'll still have to figure out a way to work some at night. And take care of 4 kids age 4 and under. You have experience - is it all possible, or would that be completely not doable? DH's company recently closed down and he is looking for a job. Obviously our financial situation is not great. I'm really hoping he'll have a job by then. DH is a huge help at home, he helps with everything, cooking, cleaning, dressing the kids, diaper changes, he'll do it all (except laundry Confused

) . Problem is, in his line of work, he's usually out of the house from early morning till well past the kids' bedtime.

I went back to work after 12 weeks (the max I could get). I hated doing it, but we had no choice. We found a babysitter to take the kids into her own home. She is a homeschooling mommy who takes side jobs when her DH is home to be with the kids. So we approached her and she agreed to do it for a flat hourly rate. Sometimes it's a matter of thinking creatively to find a situation that can be workable.

SivanMom wrote:

And while I'm on that topic, will I be able to work up until the babies are born?

I worked right up until the day of.

I spent one week on bed rest at about 9 weeks which was really just one of those precautions that has no proven benefits, but we were okay with being cautious (I had a bleeding incident). Beyond that, my OB really wanted me to either be working part time or working from home more often. He threatened to put me on bedrest after 20ish weeks if I didn't. But my employer at the time was not at all flexible with me. And DH had just gotten laid off and was starting his own business so we had no other income source. Since the stress of the situation could have been worse for the pregnancy than forcing bed rest for no concrete reason, he backed off - with the promise from me of "work then home" with nothing else in between. So from 20 weeks on - no shopping, no errands, no nothing. But it allowed me to make it to basically full term (36.5 weeks).

Though I do have to say that the last 3-4 weeks working were almost unbearable. It was the height of the summer and it hurt to move. But I did it so I could be home longer on the other end with the babies. And it was worth it. (But the day I was going to the hospital and ultimately delivered, I will probably always remember so vividly crying in the car on the way over repeating to DH over and over, "Please don't let them send me back to work today! Please!!")

B'shaah tova!

cnaanr

Mon, May 10 2010, 6:34 pm

as far as where you will get the money for help, That is one reason why I suggested telling some family members, hopefully they will understand how hard your situation is and agree to help you themselves or help pay for outside help. If they cant do either try to get some high school chesed girls from the neighborhood to help with other kids in evening.
As far as the gender question, If you tell the sono technician you dont want to know there is no reason why they will tell you, we didnt want to know but we ended up figuring it out from the tech's expression b/c we have 3 of the same gender and the twins are the other gender! the tech was so excited for us that she couldnt hide it! If you only want to know for preparation reasons then maybe find out toward the end that way you wont have to keep it a secret from dh for so long.

twinniesmom

Thu, May 13 2010, 8:29 pm

b'shaa tova - may you have an easy pregnancy and healthy birth! my twins are now 6, and while the first 6 months was VERY overwhelming (they were my first), things eventually settled down. I used a high risk group in nyu on the advice of my RE (I went through infertility treatments). I am very overweight and the dr told me that I could gain up to 35 lbs, but I only gained 13 (I basically couldnt keep anything down, but the babies were growing well until about 30 weeks, so it wasnt an issue). I had an emergency c-section at 35 weeks, 2 bh healthy babies, just ds was really tiny (2.1 lbs!). dd came home with me (4.6 lbs) and ds stayed in the nicu for 7 weeks. I went back to work full time at 3 months cuz ds screamed 24/7 and I really needed a break Smile

, but by 6 months when they were both sitting and starting to discover each other, things seemed to settle down.
I also didnt tell anyone that I was expecting twins, and although family was really shocked (and some of them upset that I didnt share) after going through 4 years of infertility I was really nervous about ayin hora and everything going well. in the end im happy with my decison and you should do whatever you are comfortable with. iyh after they are born, contact local high schools and get girls to come and help you in the evenings with supper/bath/bed, whatever. every school has a chesed program and one person can only do so much Smile

.

my twins are so lucky to have each other, and although they do not have any interesting twin behaviors, they did have their own silly language when they were young and now that they are in school and dont see each other all day, when they come home thay actually hug each other and talk about their day! its so cute.

b'shaa tovah!

TwinsMommy

Sat, Jun 05 2010, 9:15 pm

My twins are my first and from the get-go they realized it would be a higher risk pregnancy but my OB who deals with multiples and high risks pregnancies also does regular stuff so in the future if I have a typical pregnancy I'll use her again.

I only gained 26 pounds but I wish my babies had been born bigger-- they were preemies, but even for preemies they were small for their gestational age--- they caught WAY up though.

I work at home and for me the stress isn't that they're twins, it's that they're special needs kids and much needier than typical kids--- the doctor's appointments, therapy, paperwork.... jeepers, just prepping for the IEP when they turned 3 took about 20 hours overall of observation and testing. I ended up working fewer hours starting mid pregnancy and continuing to this day. My twins are 3 and a half and I still can't imagine a full time job (other than them). I'm the primary breadwinner but I do that with part time hours, Baruch HaShem.

Be prepared for possible bedrest--- I was lucky I didn't have other kids when I was put on bedrest, but if you get bedrest you'll have to juggle your kids. Twins doesn't necessarily mean bedrest but it's a higher probability. I had modified bedrest for a number of weeks (Shabbos walks were in a wheelchair, I was allowed to walk to the kitchen and prepare a meal, etc. and then strict bedrest for another number of weeks (only allowed to the bathroom).