Questions about twins

SivanMom

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 7:40 pm

I just found out today that I'm expecting twins. I have no relatives or close friends with twins, so basically nobody I feel comfortable discussing it with. So I'm hoping some of you can be my friends and help me out.

My doctor said that I can stay with my current practice. Is that what you did? Or do you switch to high risk, or to a practice that specializes in multiples, if that exists?

A couple of sites I looked at recommended gaining a minimum of 45 pounds! I'm overweight, a good 30 pounds more than when I got married. If I gain 45 pounds, I'll be a walking elephant. Is it true that that's how much I should gain? My doctor didn't mention it today. I gained 15 with my first, 25 with my second.

This questions is really concerning me now. Were you able to go back to work after you had twins? I currently work from my home, around 5 hours a day. My two kids, currently age 3.5 and 21 months are in playgroup, and I work around 3.5 hours during the day, and another 1.5 hours at night - flexible. I can't imagine getting much work done with twins around, so I would have to send them out to a babysitter. That would be 4.5 hours a day, times 2 kids, subtracted from my income. And then I'll still have to figure out a way to work some at night. And take care of 4 kids age 4 and under. You have experience - is it all possible, or would that be completely not doable? DH's company recently closed down and he is looking for a job. Obviously our financial situation is not great. I'm really hoping he'll have a job by then. DH is a huge help at home, he helps with everything, cooking, cleaning, dressing the kids, diaper changes, he'll do it all (except laundry Confused

) . Problem is, in his line of work, he's usually out of the house from early morning till well past the kids' bedtime.

And while I'm on that topic, will I be able to work up until the babies are born?

If you read this far, you're that best! Thanks so much. Any help would be appreciated.

Motheroftwins

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 7:58 pm

I do have twins. I stayed with my Dr. but he sent me for sonograms at a neonatologist, who specializes it hi-risk pregnancies and has better sonogram machines.

Regarding gaining weight, I was SO SICK for the first half of my pregnancy, I lost lots of weight. In total I only gained 18 lbs. My babies were born with VERY low birth weights - 3 lbs each. I don't know if I would say you have to gain a minimum of 45 lbs, but I would tell you to just make sure you eat a LOT of protein and drink lots of water. Obviosuly, as with all pregnancies you should eat smart and healthy in general.

I can't answer you about the working part of your post. I quit my job when I found out I was expecting twins and didn't get a new job until my twins were almost 2. But, my DH was home with them when I wasn't. I was on bed rest for parts of my preg, which would make wokring impossible. Also, my twins were my firsts, so I don't have advice abt dealing w the other kids. But you def should get ppl to come help you and make meals etc.

GOOD LUCK!

Mirabelle

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 8:13 pm

Wow, you asked a lot of questions. My twins are 6 months, so I will try to answer what I can.

I saw a regular OB and then went to a high risk specialist for testing and monitoring, mostly towards the end. In the end I was in the doctor a lot, my doctor once a week and the high risk twice a week. I am very glad that I saw the high risk doctor as she had me alter one of my medications. My twins were born decent weights and healthy with no NICU time, I can't complain.

My doctor was strict and wanted me stop commuting to the city at 20 weeks, but I worked from home. My job ended in August anyway. For me the hard part wasnt working, it was chasing after my big girl who turned 3 the week the twins were born. Towards the end of the pregnancy it was very hard for me to move around.

Ok, when I have more time I will answer more!

SivanMom

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 8:13 pm

Thanks so much for your responses. Its nice to hear encouraging words. I have lots of family living in my town, so even though they are all busy with their own lives and families, I'm sure I'll get lots of help from them. I didn't even think of bedrest. Oh my, I don't know what I would do!
I see now that so much depends on how the pregnancy goes, and how they are when they are born. Aaaaak. There is so much going though my mind now. I'm scared. And I hate that feeling.

QUEENY

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 8:32 pm

HI! I too have twins. I stayed with my OB throughout the pregnancy. I went for frequent sonograms. In the beginning they told me I can work up until birth ( I teach 3 year olds). My 26th week I went in to labor and had to have it stopped. I was on bedrest for ten weeks and on a portable IV. I'm not trying to scare you, every pregnancy is different. I had a VERY physical job lots of stairs and bending and I had an active 1 year old at home at the time. I gained 25 lbs and my twins were btween 4 and 5 lbs born five weeks early. Good Luck.

Mirabelle

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 8:34 pm

I never went on "official" bedrest, but was told to lay down for 6 hours a day, 2 hours in the morning, 2 in the afternoon, and 2 in the evening....which is still a lot, especially when you have other kids. I didnt always do it, but I tried.

Also, I highly recommend the book "When You're expecting twins" by Dr. Barbara Luke. I followed her diet and as I said, even though my twins were born at 35.5 weeks, they were able to come home with me from the hospital.

Sleep

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 9:30 pm

Do you know if they are identical or fraternal yet? It makes a big difference with keeping or switching your OB. Identical is really high risk because of the possibility of twin to twin transfusion syndrome, and/or the possibility of entangling umbilical chords. If they are fraternal-then I would not worry with staying with a standard OB. B"H there are so many sets of twins being born nowdays, I'm sure your Dr. has plenty of experience delivering multiples!

By the way, my twins are identical, and I was not put on bedrest. I definately did not gain 45 pounds, and my twins were both born over 5 pounds. They even had their brissim on time!! Unless you are very good at getting your children on a schedule, I do think it will be hard to find much working time. It is hard to get them both to sleep at the same time, so there isn't much free time. One of them is usually demanding something!!!

Sleep

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 10:10 pm

You may be lucky-and get very behaved children. Mine did sleep-but not always at the same time! My husband and I worked it out-I went to sleep late (bet 12-2) and woke up late. He went to sleep at like 9 and did the morning shift! this way we both slept somewhat-and I was able to do some work when everyone was sleeping (I was in middle of my master's program)!!

Sleep

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 10:33 pm

Just wanted to add that even though it can be tough when dealing with multiples-there is nothing like them. They care so much for each other and have the most special bond. I love watching them shmooze and play together. I often feel bad that my singleton has no twin to share life with! Someone I know who also has twins once told me that she overheard one say to the other "if you don't do_________-I'm not gonna be your twin anymore!!!" You just gotta love them.

sim

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 8:09 am

SivanMom wrote:

I live in Lakewood. Did you tell people you were expecting twins? I just told my sister tonight that I'm pregnant, and she said "wow, three babies" and I'm thinking, ha, if you only knew. I can't imagine keeping the secret for 30 more weeks.

You probably should tell the immediate family: they need to be prepared to pitch in when necessary (bedrest, maybe a double bris, help immediately after the birth) but it's wise not to tell anyone else. People may guess if you get very very big, or if you are put on bedrest, but although it's difficult, I wouldn't tell anyone else that you are carrying twins. I don't want to go into details.

louche

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 9:12 am

Sleep wrote:

Someone I know who also has twins once told me that she overheard one say to the other "if you don't do_________-I'm not gonna be your twin anymore!!!" You just gotta love them.

LOL! My cousin's girls announced at about age three that they used to be twins but they weren't any more. You wonder what they thought "twins" meant. now in HS, I guess they decided to be twins again.

Motheroftwins

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 9:53 am

We only told our parents. One of our siblings found out but she understood that we didnt want anyone else to know. Even being put on bedrest, you dont have to tell ppl. they can think what they want. I know tons of women who have 1 baby who r on bedrest because they go into early labor, or because or other reasons. bedrest doesnt mean automatically twins. u shouldnt feel like u have to tell ppl so that theyll be prepared to help out.....once the babies r born there will be enough time for everyone to get used to the idea and offer their help.

louche

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 10:01 am

Motheroftwins wrote:

doesnt mean automatically twins.

and twins don't automatically mean bedrest. I know MOTs who worked F/T till the day before the kids were born. They weren't exactly construction workers or waitresses, to be sure, but neither were they 20-year-old former Olympians. Just average, slightly tubby, failry sedentary women in their thirties with desk jobs.

Isher

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 10:15 am

I personally don't have twins however, I have 2 sil that had identical twins. They both told my in laws that they were expecting twins. By one, it was 1 & 2 she was on bedrest and huge so lots of us guessed that it's twins. They were born in the 9th each weighing around 7 lbs. They are 6 years old.

My other sil had them around 4 weeks ago, 6 & 7. She is usually tremendous so it came as a shock to all. She used her reg. ob, had weekly visits. Because of TTTS she was sent to a high risk specialist who ended up scheduling a c-section for the following day. They were born just about entering the 9th at around 4.5 and 5.5 lbs. She was not on bedrest and had even brought in Pesach with cleaning, cooking and all.

My advice, allow yourself to accept help. I noticed one of them had a problem with accepting help from others and it was very overwhelming.

SivanMom

Wed, Apr 28 2010, 11:17 am

Both DH and I are from large families, so if I tell one, I would want to tell all (some with big mouths), simply because I don't want anyone getting insulted that I didn't tell them but did tell others, it's not worth it. If I can hold out that long, I think I won't tell anyone other than my parents, and maybe my closest sister.
I love hearing everyone's take on these things. Right now I want to learn as much as I can so that I feel more in control and prepared to handle this pregnancy, and what comes afterward.