ENCLCLOPEDIA OF JEWISH EXPRESSIONS:

proudmom

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 12:13 pm

Vay iz meer
An expression which closely resembles "Woe is Me",and is cried out by Jewish mothers every 15 minutes.
An anthem of true suffering.

non jews:
People who are Gentile. A polite term for anyone who doesn't love a good bargain or has extra skin on his schmeckel.

Tattalah
An endearing term of love which means "little man".
An emasculating term for women to call men, if you think about it. But who has time to think.

Gefilte Fish
A tasty mix of congealed fish parts and transparenslime jelly.
The only food it is permissable for Jewish children to refuse.
In some families, they may even be allowed to gag, but politely.

Chaleria
A derogatory term which best refers to a female
business associate or a mother-in-law. The closest English equivalent is "b****".

Koorveh

A call-girl, or harlot. A reference to the Russian
Czar's wife at the turn of the 20th Century, and to that flashy shiksa your nephew married.
Also known as Nafkeh.

Kugel
A yummy blend of overcooked noodles, raisins, and
curds of ripe cheese. Not fun to look at. When lathered with sour cream makes an excellent artery hardener.

Borscht
A purple soup made from beets and ammonia. Often eaten
by elderly Ashkenazic Jews who slurp noisily and have protruding nose hair. Which is helpful, because it stinks to high heaven.

K'naidlach
Also referred to as matzoh balls. Made with styrofoam and sponges.
There isn't a laxative in the world strong enough to counteract them.

Schmendrick
A man who messes things up, always loses and feels mise rable.
Closely related to Schlemazel and Schlemiell. Every Jewish family
has at least one, often named Irving.

Schlemiel
A jerk who can't do anything right. In simple terms, someone who's always spilling his soup.

Schlemazel
The poor dumb putz a Schlemiell is always spilling
soup on.

Tsuris
A word referring to all problems, trouble, grief,
aggravation and heartache. Examples: daughter pregnant
with child of an unemployed Catholic bartender, adult son loses job and moves back home.

Major Tsuris: Daughter and baby "Bridget" move back
home too.

Latkes
Potato pancakes fried in castor oil and lightly
seasoned with balsa wood. Smells like old boxer shorts.

Ken in- a- hura
A gleeful rejoice used when Jewish parents find out
their daughter is going to marry the Jewish surgeon

Tefila

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 12:25 pm

we need more Proud LOL

ForeverYoung
Guest

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 1:05 pm

Chaleria = cholera =
An acute infectious disease of the small intestine, caused by the bacterium Vibrio cholerae and characterized by profuse watery diarrhea, vomiting, muscle cramps, severe dehydration, and depletion of electrolytes. Also called Asiatic cholera.
Any of various diseases of domesticated animals, such as chickens, turkeys, or hogs, marked by severe gastroenteritis.

(Russian origin)

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Thanks, Proud!!!!

gryp

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 1:08 pm

am I the only one who doesnt find these types of "definitions" funny?
I think theyre degrading.

Tefila

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 3:18 pm

is this what you're trying to tell proud

gryp

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 3:36 pm

freilich- it looks like youve got lots of free time today... Lady

proudmom

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 3:49 pm

its ok dont worry about it.

gryp

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 3:52 pm

proudmom- in no way did I mean to insult you. I am sorry if I did insult you. (after all you didnt make these up)

and some people do find these funny, so let them enjoy it. I was just wondering if anyone else didnt...

proudmom

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 4:18 pm

RG you didnt insult me in any way dont worry about it.

yehudis

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 4:33 pm

I agree with RG -- I don't fnd these funny.

Tefila

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 4:43 pm

Well maybe those of us who don't, should've pmd rather then making the rest of us here all feel like 2 cents embarrassed

At this moment in time I find almost everything funny and I'm entitled to no? or rather yes Exclamation

ForeverYoung
Guest

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 4:49 pm

but you can't deny that some of them are very funny!!!!

yehudis

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 7:18 pm

freilich wrote:

Well maybe those of us who don't, should've pmd rather then making the rest of us here all feel like 2 cents embarrassed

At this moment in time I find almost everything funny and I'm entitled to no? or rather yes Exclamation

Freilich, you have to be more assertive! Smile

You don't have to justify your feelings. We don't have to feel the same way. You're certainly entitled to it!

Tefila

Wed, Jan 26 2005, 9:58 pm

Quote:

Freilich, you have to be more assertive!

Yep Should practice what I preach