Wearing Carter’s

amother

Valerian

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 6:44 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m not very picky. And to those of you saying I need new friends, I agree lol. Can you tell I’m from OOT? But I need friends here or I will go out of my mind. So I need to not be an outcast. I don’t mind not being the most in, I just wanted to know if it’s akin to like wearing clothes backwards. Will other people be like what is wrong with that mother.

If you need friends, spend more time davening to Hashem for true friends instead of scrutinizing fashion choices for a three year old. It's hard not having the connections you need but in my opinion this is a backwards way to go about getting the friendships you want. And are you really going to be happy if you constantly have to worry about friends judging you for petty, insignificant things?

↑ deena19k

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:09 am

Another mom wrote:

This whole topic is funny to me, because I raised my kids in Israel in the 80-90s. When a relative came from America and brought Carter's or Osh Kosh, we were thrilled with the quality and styles, what happened?? I'd still buy them for grandkids or gifts. When there's English all over, I don't buy it. But the baby stuff is so cute! And Toddlers too.

Im currently raising my kids in Israel and love carters!!!!! Theyve opened up stores here but theyre not cheap, so I still have people bring me from the usa....styles are so cute and affordable.

amother

Tealblue

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:27 am

Voice of dissent here. Speaking as a bubby with married kids in Lakewood, I think if you want to fit in you should make the effort to dress your kids frum style. If you could see me as I type this, you’d laugh, because I’m dressed shlumpy and I’m as OOT as they come and never one to care about clothes for myself or my kids. But, things have changed and not just in Lakewood. I’m a morah for a 2 year old class where I live OOT and every kid shows up wearing leggings and a Jewish style top in muted colors. Used to be toddlers showed up wearing a range of clothing styles, but now with frum brands being online, it’s easy to get the Jewish styles, so everyone does. The toddlers don’t care what their friends are wearing, and the morahs don’t either, but if you want to look like a normal young mother, dress your kids like everyone else your age is dressing their kids. It sends a message about you and what group you identify with. And I’m really sorry to say that! But it’s reality.

You can get Jewish style things at Carters and Target as well as Tottini etc., really don’t need to spend a lot. It’s just about the overall look.

ETA: The plain blue henley you posted would be fine. The graphic tee, no.

amother

↑ Pewter ↓

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:40 am

amother NeonOrange wrote:

Feels like a cult. There I said it. Where’s our individuality? What happened to looking past outer wrappings? Priorities so far skewed they’re falling off cliffs and we’re all meekly plodding along behind. Is this really what frum life has come to?

Yeah for sure it’s a cult. You got it. Definitely. Also whatever you read her for sure represents thousands of people. Is good that people post their opinions here. Then everyone can post rechilus and proudly believe it.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:52 am

I’m so embarrassed reading this.
I grew up not fashion conscious at all and then moved to Lakewood. My kids are teens now. When they were little I did dress them in carters, children’s place, Walmart, target. They probably stood out and I didn’t even realize. My oldest is 18 and I clearly remember buying him baby clothing from children’s place and then toddler clothing at Walmart.
I only started buying clothing at frum stores when I realized that I had no choice for my girls. At first I only bought shabbos clothes at the frum stores. Now they are big and aware of current fashion so they choose their clothing and fit in.
I wish someone sent me a fashion memo when they were little. Although I’m swiping my credit cards these days for certain name brands that my big kids want, I’m so embarrassed that they stood out when they were younger and I didn’t even realize.

amother

Broom

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:53 am

amother Tealblue wrote:

agree with this I live in cleveland and u don’t need to wear kenzo but more like lil legs/ tottini the typical Jewish style is what most kids wear , if u don’t it’s not horrible but find the more yeshivish crowd doesn’t do carters t shirt with words unless it’s a fancy brand name with words they wouldn’t put on

amother

↑ Rainbow ↓

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:36 am

amother Broom wrote:

Oh ok, so words are fine as long as it’s an expensive name brand?

amother

↑ Rainbow

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:38 am

amother NeonOrange wrote:

There is something a little off with the level of obsession with dressing children in a certain way. I wonder if it’s from being told having children is a women’s main tafkid so it translates to dressing them just so.

amother

↑ Linen

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:43 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

I don’t get this

I would be more embarrassed buying name brands with logos than buying target

Name brand without logos I can understand but I think it’s a slippery slope for a teen

I live in Lakewood proper Smile

I hope to teach my kids that they should dress for themselves- not based on other people’s opinions- and that other values ie tzedakah and investing/saving and living modestly- are more important than brand names

We are saving for our kids and honestly it might come down to a down payment for them in the future vs 20 years of brand names…

Comptroller ↓

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:59 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Because op came here with a question that seems to pretty specific to lakewood.

And instead of answering or being helpful, you came with a snarky completely unhelpful comment.

Is part of lakewood a little like high school? Yeah, I guess. And everyone has to decide for themselves where to draw the line, how much they care what people think, and what circles they want to be part of.

But op has a question. So we can answer it, without judging her, and without making her feel bad.

I don't think the comment was unhelpful.
It is really sad if there is jewish community where "wearing Carter" is "social suicide".
OP obviously wants to use the Carter clothes she got.
So it is helpful to tell her that in a normal community, it would definitely NOT be "social suicide".

I also appreciated the comments stating that it would be sad if a 3-year-old or his mother were judged negatively because of the brand the 3-year-old wears.

↑ Comptroller ↓

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 9:01 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

You shouldn't be embarrassed.
Lakewood should be embarrassed if this is an issue!

↑ bsy ↓

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 9:02 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

I dont get this. Embarrassed? What's embarrassing? I will happily buy from Walmart and Carter's until my daughter asks for other things. What's embarrassing? I live in town. I don't get the obsession with Jewish clothes for boatloads of money. My daughter and son have friends and no one ever said a word about their Walmart clothes. Don't even get me started with the baby....

stillnewlywed

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 9:05 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

Huh?? You didn't care, your kids were too young to notice. You would preferred to have been in credit card debt??

Amelia Bedelia ↓

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 9:06 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

They didn't stand out. Children's Place and Carter's were very popular 15-20 years ago. Brooklynites clearly remember the lines of frum women at Brooklyn's 13 Avenue Children's Place. I think what happened was: affordable Jewish brands popped up and online shopping became way more popular, making other brands more appealing. Also styles changed.

Just to add, I remember buying my then-toddler daughter the most beautiful adorable outfits at Children's Place one year that thinking back, I still think were so pretty - a nice floral print belted pants with a coordinating color tee, and also the same pants in a light pink with a matching pink butterfly tee.
Also about 10 years ago, Oshkosh had stylish navy buffalo print clothes coordinating for all my kids- button down shirts for the boys, romper for the baby, swing tops for the girls which we paired with yellow skirts- was so stylish. Was really popular with the fashionable people then. And even before that my girls had pretty coral and white tops from Carter's . This year I found matching sea blue vertical striped sets at Carter's for girls and boys that I personally thought was pretty and similar to frum styles but unfortunately now that I have teens, my dd thought it was nerdy and persuaded me not to buy it.

Last edited by Amelia Bedelia on Mon, Apr 15 2024, 9:53 am; edited 1 time in total