fasting 3 fasts before bar/bat mitzvah

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Other special days

Fasting 3 fasts before bar/bat mitzvah

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lst

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 10:27 am

I am looking for the reason/source behind the custom of fasting the 3 fasts before bar or bat mitzvah. Do only people from certain backgrounds do this, where does this custom come from? Is there a basis for it?
I always learned that children under bar/bat mitzvah age should not fast the whole day. Once they are at the age of chinuch, they can be encouraged to fast for a few hours in the morning (and at night 9 av and yom kippur). And then that when they do eat, it should only be what is necessary, not indulging on junk food and continuous snack.

shalhevet

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 10:37 am

Our rov says not to do it. My dd was bas mitzva on 11th Teves and she wasn't allowed to fast the whole day even the day before. (I have another dd who will be 9 iy"H on 11th Tishrei, so this will come up again.)

greenfire

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 10:41 am

we did - but I have no idea why ...

grin

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 11:45 am

I've never seen a source for this. I think it may have come from the halacha that from the age of 9 or 10 the child should begin to fast on Yom Kipur (and only Yom Kipur!) at least part of the day, which works out to about 3 times before gil mitzvot.
I was told that children need not fast any other fasts until gil mitzvot, since the mitzva of chinuch needn't apply here - bezras Hashem, the Moshiach should come before that time and they won't need to fast then anyhow.

flowerpower

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 1:24 pm

My father holds by it. He told me the reason but of course I forgot.

cuteson

Wed, Sep 10 2008, 1:37 pm

I never heard of 3 fasts before, but one I did. my parents always said to fast one fast before also only if you can.

I guess there are so many things I don't know and every day I learn something new

shininglight

Thu, Oct 02 2008, 8:01 am

I did, as a kid! I grew up in a modern orthodox community, and my whole circle of friends were really machmir on that one. (Then again, we made fasting into a competition - "how long did YOU fast?" "what did you break YOUR fast on", etc ...)

ChossidMom

Thu, Oct 02 2008, 8:27 am

My (Litvish) rav says it's a bunch of baloney. Well, he didn't quite say those words. He said there is absolutely no source for this. The reason I asked him is that my kids came home with it from their friends. But, my son who will be Bar Mitzvah a couple of weeks after Succos should fast this Yom Kippur, according to the rav.

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