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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Tue, May 21 2024, 3:10 pm
I’m B”H expecting my 3rd child and just wondering if it’s even possible to have an easy kid.
My other 2 are hard kids. Always on their toes, assertive, strong-willed, always needing something else from me. They’re just not the chilled and easygoing type.
So I’m wondering if there are imas out there who feel like their own child/children are easy.
I have a friend with 4 kids under 5 and she told me her kids are so easy. Anyone else feel similar?
I’m praying that this child is easy because not sure how I’ll manage 3 difficult children.
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amother
Maize
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:12 pm
I thought my kids were difficult until I met my sister in laws kids and I realized mine are really easy
Everything is relative
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amother
Geranium
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:23 pm
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Yes one of my kids was extremely easy. Barely cried. Slept thru the night. Was typically happy and content.
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amother
Daylily
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:25 pm
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There are definitely kids that take less out of you than others.
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amother
IndianRed
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:27 pm
What do you mean by easy?
Physically when theyr younger, or emotionally as they get older?
My kids were relatively easy when they were babies and toddlers.
My last one is a tzaddik bh.
Slept the night, had his bottles like a pro, was so happy and content bh.
But they grow up and emotionally they are very challenging.
Have additional needs, constant monitoring etc.
Tempers, tantrums and tears.
Chutzpah, shouting, losing control.
My sils babies are all hard hard but she has it easier when they get bigger and more mature.
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Jalapeño
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:28 pm
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One of my kids (5yo) will go and read/play happily by herself for hours, and, in fact, will be more annoyed if I try to play or engage. very relaxed child and very unlike her siblings in that regard lol. She's still a 5 year old, but she's generally easy going and content wherever we are.
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amother
Ecru
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:35 pm
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I think easygoing is a sign of a very healthy nervous system. It definitely exists.
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amother
Copper
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:38 pm
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Bh my kids are very easy. I’m very lucky. Not zero challenges obviously, but overall very well behaved older child and good natured, happy calm baby.
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amother
Stoneblue
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:42 pm
I have 2 difficult children. One is off the carts and was difficult right from the beginning.
And I have 2 very easy going children who are calm natured and gentle kids.
But even my easy going, happy go lucky kids are sometimes difficult as they are turning into teens. It’s not their nature but things get them angry now and they never seemed capable of anger when they were younger.
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amother
Clematis
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Tue, May 21 2024, 3:50 pm
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My third child was and is an angel even now when he is all grown up and father himself. My second child was extremely difficult she cried for a year straight and I could not put her down. I had to hire teenagers to come in the afternoon to hold her so I could cook supper and take care of things. She had tantrums all through pre-school. I will admit that in my head I thought of her as the b-tch baby from hell. I will not go into details but it was a nightmare.(BH slowly but surely her behavior improved over the years and I have nothing but nachas from her so there is hope). So when I was pregnant with my third I davened davened davened every day please H-shem make him be a good baby, a good boy etc. He was such an angel I didn't know how to take care of him! I had no experience with a child who could sit in his infant seat for more than 2 minutes! Who talked to himself happily in his crib until I came to get him! Who fell asleep when put down and did not have to be walked and rocked to somnolence. He has a heart of gold and is beloved by all. He always has a smile on his face and a kind word for everyone. Neither my husband or I or any of my other children for that matter resemble his gutteh neshamah although we all try our best. He was just born this way. Thank you HKBH for answering the tefillos of a desperate almost insane mom!
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amother
DarkYellow
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:12 pm
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Well fed kids are happy kids. Make sure they aren't hungry.
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amother
Pistachio
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:23 pm
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It depends, I'd say my middle child is difficult because she's an extrovert and very assertive and strong but then again she's very helpful and loves to go out on errands and is a lot of fun. My oldest is such an introvert. He's so easy to look after as he can entertain himself. However he needs his space and his time to himself and it's hard to get him to go out nd do things he doesn't want to do. My youngest is adorable and a mixture of the two. She's a very good baby. So I they all have strengths and weaknesses which come out as they grow up. Hopefully they all balance each other out.
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giftedmom
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:31 pm
I think it depends a lot on parents attitude, personality, and approach to child-raising.
I was labeled a hard child. I have a kid who is very much like me and I find them the easiest of my kids.
In general I’ve been asked by school staff how I handle my “hard kids” and I dunno, I don’t find them hard. They’re just kids.
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amother
Brown
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:31 pm
Yes. I have easy kids.
I guess because my husband and I are both pretty easygoing people.
Believe me, I worry about them plenty. I think that the aggressive kids become adults who are more suited to the crazy world out there and do better than people like us who are maybe too easygoing.
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giftedmom
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:32 pm
| amother Ecru wrote: | | I think easygoing is a sign of a very healthy nervous system. It definitely exists. |
Or a child who is shut down and doesn’t trust that their needs will be met and/or that they are safe to be themselves
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amother
Jade
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:33 pm
I have 2 girls and then 2 boys. All under 10.
My girls are significantly easier than my boys. I hear it changes when they are teens
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amother
Obsidian
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:39 pm
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I guess it depends. My oldest is super hard makes me want to punch a wall. Middle is really great most of the time but sometimes an over the top bratty drama queen. My third is a nice relief. He is pretty easy but he has his stubborn moments. Compared to my first two though...he is a piece of cake! That being said he didn't sleep well until he was 13 months old lol and believe it or not my hardest child was my best sleeper as a baby! Probably bc the whole schedule revolved around him.
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amother
Mintcream
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:40 pm
My kids are very well fed and are not happy easygoing kids AT ALL
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:41 pm
One of my kids was/is brilliant, easygoing, sweet, helpful etc. He grew up to have high anxiety and go off the derech. He's still all the aforementioned things though. Everyone loves him, he just struggles with high anxiety and is not frum.
You just never know one's path in life.
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amother
Garnet
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:43 pm
I did & then he hit puberty 
Truth is that everyone is unique so of course some will give you an easier time than others & it depends on the stage they're at. It also depends on if they mesh with your personality & on your parenting style.
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