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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Begonia
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 Tue, May 14 2024, 11:10 am
| amother Oleander wrote: | | You don't see a difference between sharing voluntarily and having something taken from you without even the courtesy of being asked? OOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKK. |
The long OK made me laugh!
Im not that poster but I think it might depend on how you view food items in your household vs. other gifted items. Like, if my husband gave me a necklace and then he took it and lent it to my MIL and said Oh, she admired it and so I gave it to her to wear because she was going to a simcha. Well, I'd be really upset. Its my necklace and it belongs to me.
But I view food as more of a communal thing, even if its designated for one person. So if he bought a box of chocolate for me, but took some of it, it wouldn't bother me because in general food is for everyone to share. Although, yes, if a child has a trip and I bought them special nosh, then of course that is for them and no one else is allowed to take it. I guess beween spouses, I'm more chilled about food and I don't view all gifts in the same way.
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NechaMom
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Tue, May 14 2024, 11:11 am
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Do you always have your own food that no one is allowed to eat? In our house everything is to be shared with everyone. If I don't want anyone to touch my food I hide it in a pan labeled spinach raisin quiche. Your husband bought it in honor of you but was comfortable eating from it because that's what spouses do. I would be happy for him and just buy 2 boxes on Father's day.
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amother
Caramel
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Tue, May 14 2024, 11:17 am
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I came back to visit and noticed my user name. I’m posting just to be able to bask in the beauty. Anyone else who wants to is welcome.
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amother
Beige
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Tue, May 14 2024, 11:31 am
| amother Begonia wrote: | The long OK made me laugh!
Im not that poster but I think it might depend on how you view food items in your household vs. other gifted items. Like, if my husband gave me a necklace and then he took it and lent it to my MIL and said Oh, she admired it and so I gave it to her to wear because she was going to a simcha. Well, I'd be really upset. Its my necklace and it belongs to me.
But I view food as more of a communal thing, even if its designated for one person. So if he bought a box of chocolate for me, but took some of it, it wouldn't bother me because in general food is for everyone to share. Although, yes, if a child has a trip and I bought them special nosh, then of course that is for them and no one else is allowed to take it. I guess beween spouses, I'm more chilled about food and I don't view all gifts in the same way. |
Same.
I wrote above how so many people are so uptight here. People chill! It's a few pieces of chocolate. And it's a husband and wife. Things are very relaxed between us as a couple. I wouldn't even get slightly bothered.
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amother
PlumPink
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Tue, May 14 2024, 12:57 pm
| amother Beige wrote: | Same.
I wrote above how so many people are so uptight here. People chill! It's a few pieces of chocolate. And it's a husband and wife. Things are very relaxed between us as a couple. I wouldn't even get slightly bothered. |
More like you (and others), who can't comprehend the concept are kind of showing lack of empathy or emotional intelligence.
It's obviously not about the chocolate and nobody in the history of the world (or almost nobody) chilled out from being told "chill! Your feelings are invalid because I'm too inept to see beyond or ask deeper questions!".
Ok. Just be nice and get it!!!! Oh, can't? Well then why think saying "chilllll" is going to be any more effective?
The lack of intuneness is kinda sad honestly.
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Cheiny
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Tue, May 14 2024, 1:16 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I’m just wondering if I’m being completely irrational. Yes, I realize there are much bigger issues in the world so don’t have at me. But seriously if your DH bought you a box of chocolates which you specifically requested as the ONLY gift you wanted for Mother’s Day and then snuck a few would you be bothered? |
If he only took a few I wouldn’t be upset. If he ate all or most of them, I would. I’d be happy he can enjoy them too…
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amother
Gold
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Tue, May 14 2024, 1:52 pm
| amother PlumPink wrote: | More like you (and others), who can't comprehend the concept are kind of showing lack of empathy or emotional intelligence.
It's obviously not about the chocolate and nobody in the history of the world (or almost nobody) chilled out from being told "chill! Your feelings are invalid because I'm too inept to see beyond or ask deeper questions!".
Ok. Just be nice and get it!!!! Oh, can't? Well then why think saying "chilllll" is going to be any more effective?
The lack of intuneness is kinda sad honestly. |
Your post is really sad you seem to lack the ability to take another person’s perspective. Its ok for others ro disagree with you it doesn’t make u “right” you seem to think the world should be looked at through your lense. Good luck with that
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singleagain
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Tue, May 14 2024, 1:54 pm
The truth is OP asked "would you be bothered"
It looks like most people would not be bothered. Then there's the percentage who understand OP and would be bothered.
OP does it matter so much if others would be bothered? Bc you are allowed to feel bothered even if 100 other women would not be bothered.
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kenz
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:15 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I’m just wondering if I’m being completely irrational. Yes, I realize there are much bigger issues in the world so don’t have at me. But seriously if your DH bought you a box of chocolates which you specifically requested as the ONLY gift you wanted for Mother’s Day and then snuck a few would you be bothered? |
Lol. I would be annoyed too and DH would totally do this. But it’s really funny from an objective point of view. Go buy yourself some more and don’t tell him!
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amother
Apricot
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:15 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I’m just wondering if I’m being completely irrational. Yes, I realize there are much bigger issues in the world so don’t have at me. But seriously if your DH bought you a box of chocolates which you specifically requested as the ONLY gift you wanted for Mother’s Day and then snuck a few would you be bothered? |
Didn't read the thread but yes, I'd be bothered.
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AlwaysCleaning
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:20 pm
On the flip side, I bought DH choc for his birthday and we both had some right when he opened it. I didnt think twice having another piece later.
If it was my choc, I'd be annoyed if he finished it or left me barely any. But to have a few? I wouldn't care. And if I did care I'd say something nicely
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:22 pm
| amother PlumPink wrote: | More like you (and others), who can't comprehend the concept are kind of showing lack of empathy or emotional intelligence.
It's obviously not about the chocolate and nobody in the history of the world (or almost nobody) chilled out from being told "chill! Your feelings are invalid because I'm too inept to see beyond or ask deeper questions!".
Ok. Just be nice and get it!!!! Oh, can't? Well then why think saying "chilllll" is going to be any more effective?
The lack of intuneness is kinda sad honestly. |
I think they all must be in a certain type of relationship where they don’t get to voice legitimate feelings because they are told they are being hysterical so they just turn themselves into cold robots. It’s sad really. That’s all I keep seeing. I’m sure they will deny it, but it goes hand in hand. Those who are sensitive to others are also sensitive and feel deeply. Those that dismiss others do it because they block their own feelings.
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:23 pm
| amother Beige wrote: | Same.
I wrote above how so many people are so uptight here. People chill! It's a few pieces of chocolate. And it's a husband and wife. Things are very relaxed between us as a couple. I wouldn't even get slightly bothered. |
And you probably wouldn’t notice when others are bothered by what you do either. It goes hand in hand. It’s not a positive.
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amother
Dustypink
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:50 pm
| amother Aqua wrote: | | I think they all must be in a certain type of relationship where they don’t get to voice legitimate feelings because they are told they are being hysterical so they just turn themselves into cold robots. It’s sad really. That’s all I keep seeing. I’m sure they will deny it, but it goes hand in hand. Those who are sensitive to others are also sensitive and feel deeply. Those that dismiss others do it because they block their own feelings. |
She’s saying to chill because it’s a piece of chocolate. It’s an overreaction to get upset about chocolate.
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:51 pm
| amother Dustypink wrote: | | She’s saying to chill because it’s a piece of chocolate. It’s an overreaction to get upset about chocolate. |
No it’s not. It’s about the whole story of eating a gift. It’s not about chocolate. I’m concerned about those who don’t comprehend.
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amother
Hyssop
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:52 pm
I wouldn't be bothered I'd love to share with him.
Maybe munch on them in bed while we're watching a movie together, or schmoozing. Sounds like a nice situation. I'd have initiated something like that.
DH made me pancakes for lunch on mother's day and I insisted on sharing with him and my son. It was a sweet time for everyone.
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amother
Hyssop
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:54 pm
| amother Aqua wrote: | | No it’s not. It’s about the whole story of eating a gift. It’s not about chocolate. I’m concerned about those who don’t comprehend. |
Right, I hear.
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amother
Hyssop
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Tue, May 14 2024, 2:54 pm
| singleagain wrote: | The truth is OP asked "would you be bothered"
It looks like most people would not be bothered. Then there's the percentage who understand OP and would be bothered.
OP does it matter so much if others would be bothered? Bc you are allowed to feel bothered even if 100 other women would not be bothered. |
Well put!
I'm honestly not sure why people are getting so over the top about this (not referring to OP, but to other posters who feel strongly one way or another...
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amother
Taupe
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Tue, May 14 2024, 4:46 pm
am I the only one that feels so bad to eat the whole box myself? I even get abit annoyed when DH doesnt take cuz its for me. hate feeling so selfish:) go figure us out ladies.
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amother
Burgundy
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Tue, May 14 2024, 9:15 pm
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Just saw a sign in a chocolate store today that read "Chocolate Understands". I was thinking of this thread. Op, if no one on this thread understands you just rest assured that at least the chocolate understands.
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