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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Thu, May 09 2024, 9:33 pm
We have a long awaited ben zekunim. The older siblings are obsessed with him. He has responded well to all of them. Now he's getting a little older and is expressing preferences. Of the siblings who are always home (some dorm) it's clear that he prefers one over the other. The non preferred one is the former youngest. Becoming a big sibling was both very exciting and also hard. But she's probably the most devoted of all the siblings. She just has such a sweet, pure, loving nature. And also sensitive and easily hurt. At first I tried explaining it away - maybe he's just not in the mood today, he was so happy with you yesterday... But it seems to be getting clearer that this is actually a preference and it's so painful.
What can I do or say?
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michimochi
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Mon, May 13 2024, 1:03 am
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OP, I have no advice for you, as I come from a small family and have no experience with this. But I just want to say that I hear you, and the situation is probably common and is not hopeless. The little one's preference may shift over time. The second-youngest may grow to put less weight on gaining her brother's affection. Family dynamics change and evolve. For now, just support the second-youngest emotionally and make sure she feels loved and wanted by you and other family members. There is not much else you CAN do, I don't think.
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tichellady
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Mon, May 13 2024, 1:11 am
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I would validate her feelings and maybe tell her some stories about her silly preferences as a baby. Babies are often interested in the people who don’t show that much interest in them. Remind her it’s a phase and babies are silly
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