Short term vs long term, can you help me declutter?

amother

Wed, May 08 2024, 12:37 pm

I am going through my home again to declutter and organize. One thing I notice I get stuck on is my personal family vs guests and short term vs long term use.
For example:
I don't think I'm having any more babies but I do have guests with babies and iyh at some point hope to have grandbabies. How much baby stuff do I keep and how much do I get rid of (not clothing, gear and toys)?
I have a lot of games and toys that my kids don't necessarily play with on a regular basis but when we have friends or guests the do play with other things.
I have an extra crib, now that my youngest is in a bed, do I get rid of the crib?
We have a treadmill that we almost never use but others do or might.
Similar question regarding linens. How much linen should I have? I don't often have 10 sleeping guests but once a year or so I end up with something like that.
Quantities throw me off. My younger kids are obsessed with dolls and stuffies. How many of those should I keep? How many tableclothes do I keep? How many folding chairs? Simcha/party items? How many magazines/books do I keep around?
If the questions were short term questions, like I see on the decluttering groups online, as in do we use this now? I can easily answer the questions but when I think about our families changing needs and including guests into the equation, it gets more fuzzy.
I appreciate any and all advice!

mummiedearest

Wed, May 08 2024, 1:39 pm

Re: guests and baby stuff, what’s your storage situation? I keep a pack n play and a simple IKEA high chair for guests with babies. I have a baby who sleeps in a mini crib and uses a different high chair most of the time because he needed a reclining one to start. He’ll use the pack n play on the porch occasionally, but I don’t really use it often. I have space for those. I also have two strollers for my baby (large for daily use and travel stroller for travel). I am more than happy to share and tell guests not to schlep one. If you have frequent guests with babies, I think something to sleep in and something to eat in is nice to provide if you can spare the storage space.

Children and stuffies- I don’t declutter those. They stay in the kids’ rooms.

Linens: I store as many as I need over an average pesach. We tend to host the same relatives for each half and don’t do laundry in middle. Depending on your laundry schedule, I’d say 2 sets per family member who lives with you and 1 set for every guest bed. If storage is an issue, keep the beds made all the time. Count your linens in the weeks leading up to busy hosting season and buy more if necessary.

Don’t keep a treadmill for guests. That’s a huge waste of space.

Unused toys and games: I keep the ones we use less frequently, but I get rid of the board game boxes. I store them in small plastic drawers, often multiple games per drawer. If we get a new game that is more popular, I will remove an unpopular game to make space. You don’t need to decide on quantity, just define the purpose of your storage space. I do the same for things like playmobil, mega blocks, little people. If it fits in the appointed bin, it can stay. I have enough space to dump things in the basement for a while if they go unused. We bring them up for guests.

I have a drawer for party goods. I won’t store more than fits in that.

Extra crib: if you have the space and love the crib, I’d keep that. Same for a good quality stroller. If you loved using it and can offer it to your kids, it’s nice. If you don’t have the storage space, get rid of it.

ra_mom

Wed, May 08 2024, 2:54 pm

Be intentional about the items you keep for one specific purpose during the year.

Just like when it comes to a sukkah, we need to store it for just once a year, but we make sure to only buy something that we have room to store and works for our space. We need to use this thought process with other once-a-year items as well.

You need 6 extra blankets once a year? Set a space for that and stick with it. No overflow. Buy things that are easy to take out and that fit into that space. If it becomes too full again at a later date, donate- keep the space easy to maintain.

We used to keep older blankets for those times we had an overflow of guests. I realized I hated taking them out because they had slight stains and took up too much space- they were stuffed onto the shelf and I had to stuff them back in each time I used them. It was overwhelming. I found new blankets that took up less space and were a pleasure to take in and out- and I got rid of the old stuff. Never looked back. I felt a burden off my shoulders.

Toys for visitors? Keep a bucket of blocks, one for menchies, a bucket of kitchen dishes (the most popular) and store the toy kitchen in the shed if you have room- otherwise get rid of it and everything else. You'll breathe better, have more room and more peace of mind. The little guests play beautifully with the play dishes even without the kitchen, I can attest to that.

Think of your space as prime real estate and each square foot is valuable.

Would you pay to store that item monthly in a storage locker? Then it might be that valuable to you (use-wise, price-wise, sentimental-wise). Set a space for it and make sure it's a space that allows you to use the item easily when you need it.

Would you pay to have that extra space/square footage in your home the other 364 days of the year- the rest of the year when you don't have to use that item? Then get rid of that extra item and breathe easier. You'll borrow an extra blanket from the neighbor when it comes up.

Need that crib 2x a year? Get rid of the big one and swap it out for a foldable portable crib so that you're utilizing the prime real estate in your home, and in your clutter free mind, properly.

Last edited by ra_mom on Wed, May 08 2024, 7:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

zaq

Wed, May 08 2024, 3:22 pm

Anything you don't use, like a treadmill, get rid of. You're not running a hotel and can't afford to occupy your limited space with equipment for undefined "others" who "might" use it. They won't.

Same for playthings your kids don't use.

Unless your kids are already in shidduchim, you're not expecting grandchildren any time soon. In any event, safety standards for equipment change over time, and your children will not want to use your crib and other equipment for their children because yours will no longer be up to code. I remember going to my in-laws, who had rented--rented, mind you!--a crib for our visit. The bars were about 6 inches apart and I was terrified.

It's lovely to have equipment for friends with children, but usually they can make do without it. Items like baby bathtubs, rockers and changing tables are completely optional; unless you have tons of storage space, give it away to someone who needs it now.

Bottom line, don't keep anything because someone "might" use it. Keep only what you know you use. It's simply madness to hang on to stuff for ten or twenty years just waiting for it to be useful again. Do someone a chessed and give the stuff away. Chances are that when you become a grandparent IYH, someone' else's kids will have outgrown their crib, rocker, etc. and the parents will be happy to unload it on you.

amother

Wed, May 08 2024, 4:13 pm

Ok so the crib and treadmill will go.

I will keep the pack and play and high chair and stroller.

Right now my kids play with a rotation of games and probably 3 or 4 toys. They sometimes include baby toys in their playing as props. I dont have any babies actually playing with toddler toys now.

I have guests all the time. Neighbors, friends, relatives. I host families of different sizes and different age groups throughout the year. This is where I get stuck. Its not a matter of don't store things in your house for guests, guests are part of our lifestyle. I don't have the biggest house but between my siblings I have the largest dining room so I almost always host family events.

My kids may not use something at this point but that doesn't seem to make sense as being the drawing line.

amother

Wed, May 08 2024, 4:57 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

Do you have space in a garage or basement where you can keep large plastic bins? You could keep the once a year linens in there.

I don't have a garage or much storage in my basement. I have closets in the other parts of the house and a boiler room plus playroom in the basement.
Its not once a year linens, it's that the most we have guests wise is 10 sleeping guests at a time. My brothers family and a cousins family both have 8 kids so if they come that's our max. Throughout the year we have all different numbers of guests. Some of those are not actual beds but blow up mattresses or tri fold mattresses. The actual guest beds have linen on them.

amother

Wed, May 08 2024, 5:00 pm

zaq wrote:

Consider how often you entertain. It makes no sense to warehouse forty chairs if you have a big "do" only once a year. Borrow from neighbors or rent.

I'm more asking about the toys, games, linens and folding chairs. Assuming up to extra 10 sleeping people of different ages. Eating guests are at most 15 extra unless it's everyone but I don't calculate for that. Then I rent tables and chairs.

funkyfrummom

Wed, May 08 2024, 11:28 pm

The "rule" (suggestion) re bed linens is 3 sets per bed (1 clean/on, 1 in laundry, and 1 in linen closet). In your case, that would apply to any beds in regular use by people who live in the house. If that seems too much b/c of need for white + colored sets for TH, then I would just do 2 of each (4 total)

For the guest bedrooms or inflatable mattresses, I would keep 2 sets (1 clean/on, 1 in laundry) per bed, unless you don't have room for that many. (If you don't do a top sheet, you will have a lot more room in linen closet.)

For visitors with a baby, I would keep the pack 'n' play and the high chair.

For child visitors, I would keep no more than 1 small shelf or bin of toys/books/games, making sure everything is good for shabbos use.

For your kids with all the plushies and stuffies, you could try the "1 in/1 out" rule, meaning every time they get a new toy or stuffed animal, ask them to identify an old one that they are ready to part with that can go to someone in need/a gemach.