Bar mitzvah--Do you wear the same clothes to both parts?

amother

Yellow

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

Interesting. We do it on the day of the actual bar mitzvah.

This is something I only heard of from imamother.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:43 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

This is something I only heard of from imamother.

To make the bar mitzvah on the day of the bar mitzvah? Why shouldn't that be the default? That's why it's called a bo bayom.

amother

Yellow

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

To make the bar mitzvah on the day of the bar mitzvah? Why shouldn't that be the default? That's why it's called a bo bayom.

I’m saying I never heard the term before I came on imamother. I’m not trying to offend you, I’m just saying it’s not done in my circles. The party will be usually on the Sunday night of the Bae mitzvah shabbos.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:57 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

Offend me? Whatever for? There's a lot more logic to the way we do things than what you're describing. I don't mean to offend you, but there's actually an inyan to have it on the birthday and not just on a random day.

amother

Yellow

Sun, May 05 2024, 10:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

My point is there’s no reason to keep going about this. It’s ok that different communities do different things. It’s ok that we both learned what’s done in the others community. Inyan or not, in communities with BH 2 working parents no one is going out to a party midweek. inyan or not I’ve literally never been invited to a midweek bar mitzvah (except for my chasidish cousins back in the 90s) Mazel tov on your upcoming simcha

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 10:41 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

I'm in a community where both parents work and the bar mitzvah is still celebrated on the actual day of the bar mitzvah. Different strokes for different folks.

amother

Mayflower

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:35 am

I wore the same dress to both, but I didn't invite women except for very close family to the weekday function

amother

Electricblue

Mon, May 06 2024, 9:35 am

I went to the store planning on buying one dress but there was a buy one get one half off sale so it was worth buying two. I could have gotten away with one because it was different people by each part of the bar mitzvah, besides close family who wouldn't care. I wore one of the dresses again to my daughter's bas mitzvah a year later and the other dress to my relative's wedding.

miami85

Mon, May 06 2024, 9:41 am

For our Bo-bayom seuda (which was just his class, rabbeim and immediate family in town) we did wear different clothes--I told my kids to just wear their favorite shabbos clothes. We did have pictures taken but they are much less formal. I had something fancy from a different occasion to wear. So we could keep the nice simcha-wear for Shabbos--which was going to be the main event for the community. The only females at our bo-bayom seuda were me, my sister and my niece.

amother

Latte

Mon, May 06 2024, 10:29 am

I wore the same thing to the bo bayom and Shabbos morning. Most of my friends wore different but a couple did the same. I was a hard fit, finally found something I loved and was happy to wear it twice since I didn’t anticipate wearing it again any time soon.