Could have gone on a Pesach Program

amother

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 10:28 am

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 11:44 am

amother OP wrote:

I KNEW it!!! Very Happy

amother

Catmint

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 12:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

Op where do you get the idea that they can afford a Pesach program? Anyway, not everything in life is dependent on if it can be afforded. They want to celebrate Pesach at home with family (which includes you)

What is the help they are asking if you? Do you even know or will this be the first time you spend Pesach there and your speculating and allowing your thoughts to bring your mood down?

Tip for life: comparing never makes for more happiness

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 12:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

This post and your first post sound so different from each other.

amother

Watermelon

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:10 pm

[quote="amother OP"]OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol.[/quoteing to]

Just trying to understand. Initially you said that you will be "stuffed in a small apartment" but now you said that they are well off?

You also said initially that they never go away and now you say that some years they do go away? How so when they only use "minimal ingredients"?

Cheiny

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Oh wow, so they are well off, and they go to a hotel program when it’s just them… then I’d respectfully suggest to them that it would be nicer and easier for everyone to go to a hotel. Maybe they’re not aware how difficult and even unpleasant it can be for your guys,

Cheiny

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:17 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

If she’s saying they’re well off I’d imagine she knows that to be the case.

Cheiny

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:18 pm

[quote="amother Watermelon"]

amother OP wrote:

OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol.[/quoteing to]

Just trying to understand. Initially you said that you will be "stuffed in a small apartment" but now you said that they are well off?

You also said initially that they never go away and now you say that some years they do go away? How so when they only use "minimal ingredients"?

You think everyone who’s well off lives in a big house? I know plenty who don’t, and you’d never know they were wealthy based on how they choose to live.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:54 pm

Cheiny wrote:

If she’s saying they’re well off I’d imagine she knows that to be the case.

Ummm
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.
And if she’s a new dil, I’m sure there are many things she doesn’t necessarily know about them and there are also probably things that her in-laws aren’t telling her. I’m not up to the being an in law stage, but I’m sure I wouldn’t tell my children in law all about our finances. My kids don’t know our income. And even I don’t know what our income is.
And some people put on good shows about being wealthy. Really, the people who are most likely to be wealthy don’t drive brand new cars,and they don’t lease cars. They tend to live below their means and don’t live in McMansions. Generally, the car leasers and McMansion owners or renters are nouveau riche and have to be very careful in their new status. (Ever read about all the huge lottery winners who were broke within a short amount of time? Happens to most lottery winners. Money doesn’t buy happiness.)

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 2:29 pm

[quote="amother Dandelion"]Ummm
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.
And if she’s a new dil, I’m sure there are many things she doesn’t necessarily know about them and there are also probably things that her in-laws aren’t telling her. I’m not up to the being an in law stage, but I’m sure I wouldn’t tell my children in law all about our finances. My kids don’t know our income. And even I don’t know what our income is.
And some people put on good shows about being wealthy. Really, the people who are most likely to be wealthy don’t drive brand new cars,and they don’t lease cars. They tend to live below their means and don’t live in McMansions. Generally, the car leasers and McMansion owners or renters are nouveau riche and have to be very careful in their new status. (Ever read about all the huge lottery winners who were broke within a short amount of time? Happens to most lottery winners. Money doesn’t buy happiness.)[/quote

Most people generally know what their income is. It’s pretty alarming that you don’t. And yes, most people do know if their parents and in-laws are well off.
I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say here..

amother

Lightgreen

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 2:56 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Do you know the cost difference between flying a whole extended family on a Pesach program and just 2 people?

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Apr 19 2024, 4:47 pm

[quote="amother Jetblack"]

amother Dandelion wrote:

I know what category we fall into but I don’t know exact amounts.
I’m just saying that a new daughter-in-law might not be privy to her in-laws finances. It’s truly none of her business.
And from the first post she wrote it made it sound like a complete opposite of a later post. It’s probably somewhere in between. Not to mention it’s entirely inappropriate for a daughter-in-law to decide what her in-laws should or shouldn’t be doing. I really hope no one from her husband’s family is reading this!