Nothing in the bank

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 9:34 am

Literally don't know how to make Pesach.
We get help from community, chickens, credit at a couple stores but even with that, it doesn't cover everything understandably ... there's no question of new clothes or shoes for anyone, which is sad, and I feel sorry for my kids, but fine. No luxury buys grocery wise just the bare minimum (we don't use manufactured anyway)
Just feel sad about it all, and worried how to get through it.
Not sure how to feed everyone the week before once kitchen is turned . We usually buy bagels, pizza but there's no money for that. I don't have a cleaner regularly but for Pesach take someone for a few times to help, no money for that ... which is going to make it stressful (I have back problems),
you get the picture ...
Just sad and have no one to vent to irl.
Wish I didn't have to make or have yt, the expense is crippling.
trying to find the joy.

Highstrung

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:03 am

It’s very very hard to be excited for Yom Tov when it causes so much financial stress .
I was going to buy myself something for Yom Tov this year but unfortunately I’m now in aveilus and can’t wear anything new. It would be my honor and privilege to use that money to buy your family pizza for dinner at least one day , to help you stress a bit less. Please PM me so that we can make the arrangements for me to send you the funds.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:24 am

I have one item I have a hard time understanding.

Why do they need new shoes/clothing for every yom tov? BH I'm not on empty (not rich, but making ends meet) and my kids only get new shoes when theirs rip or have holes or too small. And often I get cheap ones on Shein or temu when I can. In terms of clothing, bh we get hand me downs and we only get new if they outgrew what they currently have. It happens to be my mother -in-law bought my girls nice skirts and I found cheap tops on Temu. I bought one kid an outfit months ago (that was too big and will hopefuly fit now) for very cheap. That is the extend of new for my girls. My boys' suits and shirts all fit so they aren't getting anything new. One son's shoes are getting small so I have no choice but to replace.

This is how I grew up. We didn't get new for yom tov. We only got new if we outgrew our clothing and none of the current hand me downs would fit.

For the week before--do you have a microwave or toaster. A lot can be made in those. I plan to cook food before turning over (like noodles, nothing fancy) for the kids to eat for lunch when I turn over. Once you turn over, you can make eggs, etc to eat.

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:05 pm

Thank you. I'm not in USA.
Re clothes and shoes I know they don't need new every yt but I have big girls and it's nice for them to have something new for yt...we grew up learning it's a nice thing...no not essential for sure.
Shoes are essential as they are in boots from the winter and 3 kids need next size shoe anyway.
It will be ok . Everyone is so worried about the cleaning and shopping, none of that worries me I just wish we had a little breathing room .
Hashem Yaazor.
Thank you for hearing me.

amother

Mint

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:29 pm

I feel you. I really do Sad

I'm working sooo hard on my bitachon but it's hitting me hard. I keep davening please Hashem send me something good. Something to make me feel cared for. It's hard to want to provide for your family and not be able to. 1st time in this situation. I get you.

amother

Mint

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:33 pm

I also find it so hard to have no means to do the things I grew up with. We always made do with little but yt time there was joy in buying something special for everyone. Now I'm worrying about basic purchases and paying the bills. But I want to be bsimcha!! And filled with belief!!! It's a challenge but I know I can do it!!

amother

Candycane

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:35 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

There is a minhag to have new clothing for Yom Tov. Not sure when people started buying new shoes for YT.

(We are not, can't afford it, but it still is a valid minhag.)