Support for working full.time

amother

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 8:19 pm

Its the time of year...

When I look around at the women who work part time or not at all, have cleaning help and just somehow have more manageable lives, and I look back at my life and it's just hard.

I need to somehow clean for Pesach after a full day of work, somehow kasher and turn over and shop and cook... right after I worked so hard at work.

I know I need to work, we absolutely cannot manage without my income. And I do have a helpful husband and helpful kids... but still I just find myself feeling sad and resentful, like why me, G-d.

I just yelled at my kids just because I'm so stressed, and I'm thinking these kids deserve a calm, happy mother, they deserve to be able to play instead of cleaning, they deserve so much better. I wish I can give them a completely different Pesach experience.

I usually like my job and it works for us, but it's this time of year that is so stressful...

Any chizuk you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 8:28 pm

I feel the same. If it is any comfort I feel and share your pain. You are not alone. I work almost 40 hours a week out of the home at a very stressful job. And while I may enjoy it I am so stressed but I need the money. I wish I had help too.
This reminds me of the "poor teacher" who complained the school didn't give off enough time before YT and she had to make her tablescape on erev YT. I stared at her. I was still cooking until right before chag!! I didn't even set the table until after lighting.

I wish I could have the help that some people have and not need to work to pay rent and food bills.

You are not alone!!

amother

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 8:54 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

thank you!

I wish there was a way for me to be a calmer and more present mother now on erev pesach TMI

...

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:04 pm

Would you allow cleaning help to be home without you being home? And maybe get a neighbor to keep popping in or put up cameras so you can watch her?
Can you get some help for after hours?
Can you take some shortcuts?
My mother works full time but she cripples herself by not trying to help herself. She also refuses to lower her standards for cleaning. It's very hard to watch. I tried the help earlier on in my marriage but now I'm making pesach myself and I still work part time. But even like this with a lot of help, I clean half the amount she does. I'll clean out my kids clothing drawers on a random Sunday just to organize but before pesach a quick visual scan will let me know that there's no chometz in there.

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:07 pm

And I want to add that I do take off an extra couple days closer to yt to cook. Not sure if that's an option for u. I might havta work chol hamoed instead but at least I can enjoy yt with everything prepped before

amother

Bottlebrush

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

thank you!

I wish there was a way for me to be a calmer and more present mother now on erev pesach TMI

...

you're not alone
it's really not simple
it is what it is
we can only encourage and uplift ourselves
negative thinking weighs me down
so I work very hard not to compare my life to a/o
easier said than done though

amother

Coffee

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 12:03 am

amother Teal wrote:

I am not organizing. I am not spring cleaning. I am searching for cheerios. My standards are low- chometz free, minimal menu, nothing fancy.
If I go through drawers then it's because I saw a cracker in there (toddler plus special needs kid).

I am still stressed out my gourd.