I want my $40,000 a month paycheck back…

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:07 pm

amother Peru wrote:

We own cars - upkeep varies, but figure around $200/ month
Gas - $300?
Our mortgage is about $2400/ month
Brooklyn, 3 bedroom house with basement - $500 utilities
Tuition - $2500 - 5 kids
Food - $1200 - kids get breakfast/ lunch and some supper in school.
Insurance - have free from state but with copays/ deductable ( I realize you pay lots of $) about $60/month
Clothes+ shoes - from Amazon. If my kids want fancier they add their own money. I pay around $30 for shoes and up to $50 for a dress. My boys clothes is expensive ( chasidish) by they get only 2x a year. I figure 4k a year total/ about $350 months.
Miscellaneous - $150/ month

Totals to 7,660 per month. Make it $7.7k
One of my kids is working and pays for some stuff by herself ( waxing, tights, makeup) so that helps.

I guess at one point you shelled out money for cars- good that you did that. We did that once until our minivan needed replacing and now it’s a lease.
Your mortgage is amazing!
Your Utilities are great…for phones, cellphones, gas and electric I pay much more.
Tuition is low, especially for bochurim….and what about mandatory camp? By us it varies between $3000 and $4500.

Food! Omg! How do you spend so little? Are you small eaters? Are your kids younger? I spend in my frugal days $3,000 a month- not including yom tov. (I just ordered matzah iykwim)

$30 for shoes is also super cheap (I just did hopscotch for $39 a pair and thought it was fantastic- but can’t always find that range).

I guess you have no cleaning help, tutors, babysitters, etc…
1 Mikvah,1 sheitel macher and 1 car service would eat up all the misc! Not sure how you do it!!

giftedmom

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:10 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

Or maybe she chose a job that she could keep easily while having kids, building her family.

Or maybe she needed a quick job while her husband went back to school.

Or maybe she was also taking care of her elderly parents and had limited time but now has more hours free.

So many more possible scenarios, why denigrate someone who "chose" to be a secretary.

There’s a reason the vast majority of frum business owners are men and why they prefer to hire female employees

amother

Peru

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:13 pm

safetynet1 wrote:

You dont pay car insurance? 2500 is very little for tuition and so is the food for family of 7.

Yes, thank you, forgot about car insurance. Will ask my husband, if remember.
Food - for those in Brooklyn, we shop in KRM + Rosner's. My kids are older ( youngest about to start highschool), so I don't buy much yogurts and nosh. I check my own lettuce. Jewish companies plain cereal, unless get from ShopRite. Cholent is made with beef neck bones @$2.99lb. We get no more than 2 bottles of orange juice per week - kids don't drink much. Like I said, kids eat at school. I mainly make suppers. Whoever comes home for lunch eats leftovers/ grill cheese/ eggs.
Hopefully I'll come back to add the car insurance detail. At this point I'm curious myself about the #s.

amother

Peru

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Don't have a landline. Cellphones - were not included into utilities - pay $10/month x 4( talk and text) + $20 for my own ( paid for 12 month to get a promotion from mint) = $60 + have no idea how much my husband pays for his unlimited plan. Let's say $130 total for all phones.
Camp is tough. My girls pay for their own camp if they decide to go. Boys are mandatory. I think it was $1800 a half last year. Probably only having 1 camper this year. What can I say, we're behind on this count.
Mikva $30, shaitel $45 ( I don't wash it every month though). I'm past the babysitter stage Smile

my kids babysit nowadays. No tutors. But I'm paying for braces for a kid: $125/ month. Although my mother in law said she'll help with that...
All in all, it seems that 10K is minimal.

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:30 pm

amother Peru wrote:

From your post I thought you were a mom of 8, so that’s 10 adult mouths to feed? Or am I misunderstanding?
And you do that for $300 a week? Wow!

Eta: how do your kids have so much money to pay for camp and clothing etc?

amother

Peru

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

Lol, I am a mom of 8. At this point we're there are 8 people living in the house. What I do now is what I've done for years. I never made more money. Obviously circumstances changed throughout the years but not much.
There are 3 bochurim who spend 3/4th of the day in yeshiva, 2 girls - get lunch in school, and a daughter working. We basically shop for shabbos + what's on sale. Shabbos list is usually chicken cutlets ( family pack), seltzer, cold cuts, eggs, orange juice, salmon ( at Rosner's), challah, salad vegetables, potatoes, milk. Beef neck bones package once in 2 or 3 weeks. I buy chicken bottoms family pack and use that for soup. 1 pack is enough for a month. Family pack ground beef - some kids don't like ground beef, so this we have also not very often. Depending what's on sale, I might buy frozen tilapia or pollack. Lots of lokshen, lol. Cheese is also from Rosner's - 3lb shredded for $8. Homemade pizza is great and comes out to probably max $20 for 3-4 pies, considering other ingredients. We do buy frozen pizza on sale.
My girls babysit, a lot. 1 daughter went to camp when she had youthcore money from the summer before. My 14 year old is paying $1800 for camp this year. She has had a steady babysitting job for a couple of years + chanuka+ bday money. Another daughter went as a mother's helper and did not have to pay.

amother

Copper

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:35 pm

amother Peru wrote:

Off topic, but I'm always searching for girls to babysit. Do your girls babysit for anyone or only ppl you/ they know?

How far out of bp are you? I'm lower Ave higher streets area.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

How in the world are you getting by?
Do you get any govt help?
I just can’t do it…

Tax? Maser?
Our mortgage is lower end-as I said simple house in Brooklyn $3200
Simple minivan $600 range plus gas’s insurance etc.
Tuition approx $5000
Utilities approx $1000
Medical insurance $1000+ without being able to go to the dentist or doc cuz of minimums and deductibles
Food is a biggie $3500 and I started shopping very cheap…we do eat a lot.

And these are the non negotiables without including buying a pair of socks, or Mishloach Manos, or mikvah….

Mikvah was the item that put you over? The straw that broke the camels back?? Where do you dip thats so expensive?
(sorry, I got that out of my system, now I can really hear you. )

OP, I get you, I totally empathize. Its hard to have to go through what you are going through. Feel free to vent and daven to Hashem, things will get better- you had it once, you can get it again. Promise 20% Maaser if you are lucky enough to get your previous salary back, Keep searching for better paying jobs.
I am so sorry you lost your job and will keep davening for better days.
In the meantimes, you do have to tighten your belt, and keep looking - never give up hope - BeHeref Ayin all can change to the good!

amother

Outerspace

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 12:05 am

$3K-45K for a chassidishe camp is a lot.
$3500 for groceries monthly is a lot.
Bungalows are complete luxuries.

Did you not put any money into savings for a rainy day when you were making $40K?
I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around what you used all that money for in the past.

We earn $11K monthly, and our mortgage is $4100 monthly.
we still stay over with some savings.

As much tzedaka as you gave in the past, I still dont see why you couldn't put away lump sums for emergencies.

amother

Broom

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 12:08 am

OP is posting about a reality that is so far-removed from mine that I can't begin to comprehend- as someone who lives in Israel and struggles financially. Our monthly income is the equivalent of about $3k LOL

I do want to say that I admire the women who are blessing her. I think that is so beautiful. Women who can tap into OP's distress despite it being far removed from them, too.

OP, I bless you too that Hashem should open the gates of parnassah to you and your family. You should merit to give tzedakkah even more than you did in the past. This time of 'lacking' should make you even more sensitive for when you have so much more to give. I bless all the women here with parnassa b'shefa so that we can do good in this world.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 12:16 am

amother Broom wrote:

אמן, כן יהי רצון
המבורכת תבורכי!!

amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 12:36 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

Chassidish camp for bochurim is expensive and a must! No getting out of it.

Bungalows are luxuries for those who can’t afford! I agree…but it’s not considered living an extravagant lifestyle to go to a bungalow for the summer. ( summer homes are a bit diff)

We had savings that used up quite quickly at the beginning of our troubles when we had 0 income. Some money we also used to try to up our income…and bh it helped.

And if you earn 11k monthly, pay tax, maaser, 4100 mortgage, insurance, utilities, food, ( not sure about tuition)and save! then you’re amazing!!

amother

NeonGreen

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 8:27 am

amother Crimson wrote:

It’s like in the designer clothing stores… if you have to ask the price you can’t afford it.

What I mean is, I think when most people go into a field they’re generally aware of what the cap is. And most people know that the vast majority of people earning $400k+ are business owners, in virtually any/every field. The rest are mostly lawyers and doctors. But everyone asking “what do you do to earn so much??” Already knows everything I just typed. Being a business owner involves a lot of risk, brains, and effort. They know this too. So why are they asking? It’s not going to help them. Either they already know they have what it takes, or they don’t. It’s not like till now they’ve been a speech therapist earning $70k and suddenly someone replies to their comment saying “I earn $400k importing wholesale cabinetry from china” and they will have a revelation “oh wow this is what I need to do to earn more money!”

Plenty of corporate jobs make those salaries, in management or high skill fields like software development.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 11:15 am

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Ok. Doctor, lawyer, business owner. That's your answer. And inherited wealth.

I agree with the poster directly above; this list is too short. It should also include many corporate jobs such as software engineering, accounting, finance, etc. It may not be direct salary (bonus makes up a large portion of compensation in certain fields), but if you move high enough through the ranks, you can earn a very nice salary as an employee.