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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:55 am
amother Freesia wrote: | This is only done in heimish or Jewish stores its mind boggling. Leaving babies outside, or leaving babies unattended. Never would happen in costco or a non Jewish store. I dont know why some Jews do this and think we're immune to any danger. I wonder if I would say something, I'd like to think I would. But I would feel dumb saying this to an older mom, I am a young mother in my 20s. |
In Scandinavian countries they leave kids in strollers OUTSIDE while they go into cafes to EAT A MEAL or into a store to shop.
In safe countries your sleeping child is safe. Nothing is happening to them. No one is kidnapping a child from bingo or most places you frequent.
The concern is the kid wakes up and is scared and cries. This is a real concern.
But while its sleeping?
And dont worry. Theyre not going home without the kid.
Some things we are scared of are based on conditioning and are not based in the reality of the risks.
So no. Dont say anything to the mother and don't stand for seven minutes with a sleeping baby in a stroller....... if it was a toddler wondering around that woukd be a different story.
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amother
Eggshell
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:56 am
If they forgot him, they know full well they did, and I'm sure the mother is eating herself up about it anyway. No need to say anything.
If they don't care, a stranger's comments aren't doing to change anything.
Don't say anything in either case.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:01 am
amother Lightyellow wrote: | So not an exclusively Jewish thing.
My family is from a wealthy country in Europe where it's completely normal and considered healthy to leave your baby napping in a stroller outside.
Americans have been brainwashed to be terrified of kidnapping. |
I am well aware that this is done in certain Scandinavian countries, but we are in America, it is not something that is socially accepted or done here in this country. Walk down certain blocks of Brooklyn and babies are left outside of stores all the time. It does not make it right or acceptable. I also do not know why only certain communities do this. You don't see this being done down central avenue in the 5Ts or Long Island main streets.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:03 am
amother Black wrote: | That is so sick! I really don’t understand people. They wouldn’t leave their diamond earring just sitting out there, but their kid they will?
I get stressed letting go of my baby’s carriage and turning away from them to look at a shelf in a store. I’ve sent too many TikTok’s of children being snatched from carriages in grocery stores. I don’t think that’s very healthy of me, I’m definitely overly anxious about my child’s safety, but rather that than abandoning them places. What is wrong with people. |
Black, this is anxiety speaking and has no basis in reality. Young children being kidnapped by non relatives is practically nonexistent. And when it does hsppen is usually unintentional and part of a carjacking.
So unless you are in a custody dispute you can breath easy.
(The kids in the US who are kidnapped are troubled young teens running away from home who are then trafficked - if you have a troubled teen, that's you have to be scared about kidnapping. Nobody wants your toddler.
But good luck keeping an OTD 15 year old daughter in your sights)
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:07 am
Okay so most of you are giving- totally cool to leave ur baby alone and everyone should mind their business.
Got it. I don’t need to watch over stranded babies. Thank you everyone, happy Purim!
(Only on this website…)
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:08 am
amother OP wrote: | Okay so most of you are giving- totally cool to leave ur baby alone and everyone should mind their business.
Got it. I don’t need to watch over stranded babies. Thank you everyone, happy Purim!
(Only on this website…) |
I agree with you OP I would have been shocked too. I think your instincts are correct and that mother was wrong. Call me judgy all you want but children in America should not be left unattended. We're not talking about Europe.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:09 am
amother Apricot wrote: | Black, this is anxiety speaking and has no basis in reality. Young children being kidnapped by non relatives is practically nonexistent. And when it does hsppen is usually unintentional and part of a carjacking.
So unless you are in a custody dispute you can breath easy.
(The kids in the US who are kidnapped are troubled young teens running away from home who are then trafficked - if you have a troubled teen, that's you have to be scared about kidnapping. Nobody wants your toddler.
But good luck keeping an OTD 15 year old daughter in your sights) |
What? You don’t think babies get trafficked? Have you learned about pedophilia?
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:11 am
amother OP wrote: | What? You don’t think babies get trafficked? Have you learned about pedophilia? |
Fortunately for you and unfortunately for others, they have plenty of other places to get babies. Teen runaways included.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:14 am
OP I think you are honestly blowing this way out of proportion. The baby was in no danger. There are virtually zero instances of babies being kidnapped from their strollers from busy kosher grocery stores. Especially if the stroller wasn’t parked anywhere near an exit. It’s literally a non issue. My only concern would be if the baby wakes up and cries for its parents. Would I leave my sleeping baby for 7 minutes? No, but I also think it was totally not necessary for you to stand around. Maybe you have an underlying anxiety issue that needs to be addressed.
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amother
Gladiolus
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:14 am
amother Freesia wrote: | I am well aware that this is done in certain Scandinavian countries, but we are in America, it is not something that is socially accepted or done here in this country. Walk down certain blocks of Brooklyn and babies are left outside of stores all the time. It does not make it right or acceptable. I also do not know why only certain communities do this. You don't see this being done down central avenue in the 5Ts or Long Island main streets. |
I know it used to be a thing but I live in Boro park and don’t see this happening. Moms will leave sleeping babies at the front of the store where they can keep an eye out.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:18 am
amother Aqua wrote: | OP I think you are honestly blowing this way out of proportion. The baby was in no danger. There are virtually zero instances of babies being kidnapped from their strollers from busy kosher grocery stores. Especially if the stroller wasn’t parked anywhere near an exit. It’s literally a non issue. My only concern would be if the baby wakes up and cries for its parents. Would I leave my sleeping baby for 7 minutes? No, but I also think it was totally not necessary for you to stand around. Maybe you have an underlying anxiety issue that needs to be addressed. |
I have issues because I care about other children? Okay I guess I’ll look into that. I’m happy I didn’t say anything to the mom. She’d probably slap me for showing any concern for her child bc hello! I need to mind my business
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:21 am
OP it sounds like you only wanted validating responses. Not what others might have done in the situation
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NechaMom
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:22 am
I would be very bothered!!! Why would they be "watching from a distance?" Just take the stroller with you around the store! The aisles are wide enough for shopping carts so definitely made for strollers.
I'm not sure if it would help to say anything though...
But you're right that it was not okay!
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:23 am
amother Brown wrote: | OP it sounds like you only wanted validating responses. Not what others might have done in the situation |
Please tell me what u would have done in this situation
Would u stay with the baby or walk away?
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:24 am
NechaMom wrote: | I would be very bothered!!! Why would they be "watching from a distance?" Just take the stroller with you around the store! The aisles are wide enough for shopping carts so definitely made for strollers.
I'm not sure if it would help to say anything though...
But you're right that it was not okay! |
Have you been to the supermarket yesterday? There is barely room for a single person walk without tripping over another. Let alone a stroller.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:25 am
amother OP wrote: | Please tell me what u would have done in this situation |
I would've done same as you. But would not have said anything to the mother.
But not everyone feels the same and that's ok, and thinking logically the likelihood that anything would happen to the baby in this scenario is tiny.
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NechaMom
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:27 am
amother Garnet wrote: | Have you been to the supermarket yesterday? There is barely room for a single person walk without tripping over another. Let alone a stroller. |
Were there carts in the aisles? How is a stroller different?
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:28 am
The risk for anything happening to that baby in 7 minutes was minuscule, and it was the moms choice to take that risk. I wouldn’t, but others are less overprotective and that’s their call.
I wouldn’t say anything to the woman, but if you feel strongly about it, you can nicely tell her your feelings. Chances are she might silently disagree with your opinion.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:31 am
NechaMom wrote: | Were there carts in the aisles? How is a stroller different? |
Good luck attempting to push a shopping cart too far in the next few days.
Yes the family was probably struggling to get anywhere without getting their stroller entangled in other shoppers every two steps, so they decided to park the baby in a corner and return within a few minutes.
A little daring? Yes. Outrageous? No.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:32 am
amother Freesia wrote: | I am well aware that this is done in certain Scandinavian countries, but we are in America, it is not something that is socially accepted or done here in this country. Walk down certain blocks of Brooklyn and babies are left outside of stores all the time. It does not make it right or acceptable. I also do not why only certain communities do this. You don't see this being done down central avenue in the 5Ts or Long Island main streets. |
So whats wrong about it? Because you said so?
In 5 towns its not socially accepted to leave your sleeping child like this, so people dont. Doesn't mean its actually dangerous. However, it is socially accepted in 5T to leave them all day with non-english speaking help. Statistically, more likely something bad happens to your kid from that (eg, the help hitting or ignoring the child).
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