Is it normal, my teen plays with action figures still?

amother

Glitter

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:41 am

I miss the imaginative side of me that I had when I made up stories with my dollhouse people as a kid. I feel like it’s such healthy and creative play and I just don’t have that imagination any longer.

I also think it’s great for stress relief.

Disclaimer I didn’t read the whole thread, but I think it’s a healthy outlet

amother

Honeysuckle

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:53 am

My 14 year old used to be very into toy trains when he was young. His younger siblings never took the same liking to them, so the large collection mostly goes unnoticed. . When the younger kids do actually take them out, he is right back in his element with setting up elaborate Thomas train tracks. He is a popular boy in school and loves sports and learning. It doesn't concern me when I see him with the trains.
IMO, the overall behaviors of the child is what is concerning vs not concerning, rather than a specific hobby or interest. Is this indicative of underlying social issues or overall immaturity that are apparent in other areas as well?

amother

Clover

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 12:58 am

I read this thread a few nights ago and watched as post after post said it's pretty normal. I didn't think so, but I didn't want to be the dissenter.

But now there's a dissenter on page 2 (and a few soft but concerned replies), so I'll be the second one.

I personally don't think it's very normal for a sixteen year old teenage boy to be playing with action figures.

How do his rebbeim describe him?
Is he socially off in school? What does he do during break? Does he socialize? Read? Daydream?
What do the other boys do?

As a mother I'd be concerned with such behavior.

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 3:15 am

It's not "very normal." It's quirky. It's a shtick.

But it's not WORRISOME, unless it comes with a pattern of worrisome behaviors.

Of all the quirks there are to have, this one is pretty minor. It's probably less socially acceptable than quirks like smoking or drinking or playing with flames, but I think I like this a lot better.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 3:23 am

amother Clover wrote:

Thanks for your input. He does socialise a lot in his yeshiva, and has friends so I'm not too worried about that. Also playing with the figures isn't something he'd choose to do first or even second, or third. I'll catch him playing as a last resort thing, when he's really bored. He likes to read, but reads really fast. He read a whole book in about an hour on shabbos that I just gifted them Friday after chanukah lighting (it was quite a small book) . He used to read a lot more tbh but not as much anymore.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 3:26 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

BH he doesn't drink or smoke! I'll take this over those any day. But he does seem quite immature for a 16 year old 😕

amother

Winterberry

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:33 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

My 49-year-old DH does Lego and reads comic books. Is that weird? Probably a little, definitely a little.

It doesn’t negate the fact that he is a wonderful husband and father, has friends, hold down a job, and as a contributing member of our community. So he has his shtick. As long as he has friends and usually participates in main stream activities, I wouldn’t be concerned.

One of my favorite hobbies is building Lego, I certainly don’t see anything wrong with that.

amother

Steelblue

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:43 am

I'm a 40+ year old professional and mother. To relax after particularly tough days, I sometimes watch childrens' cartoons on my phone. Stuff of the silly-funny variety. I like that it's funny and innocent. Of course I wouldn't advertise this fact anywhere. Hiding

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:55 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

I have an older cousin who played w his wrestlers till an older age. I clearly remember him playing with those and video games. He was, and still is a very popular guy. Business owner. Married w kids, and very mainstream.

This makes me happy Smile

thank you.
His main thing that he does when he's not on a computer, is to kick a small indoor ball around the house. Drives me insane, but not much I can do about it. I've tried to stop him but we just end up arguing. It's like he has this need to run around kicking a ball! Lol. All my boys are like this, maybe him more than the others still. He's doing it now Smile

that's how I remembered. He's just played fifa on the computer so the next best thing is smashing my house up with a ball. We have a nice sized garden with fake grass but it's still a bit wet so he doesn't want to go out. And it's cold. Oh well, I've given up on fighting with a teenager with this one.

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:48 pm

When kids are playing with action figures, they’re animating the figures by giving them voices and dialogue. The figures are in some way real to them - alive. Usually that ability to have toys feel real leaves a child as they move into the early teen years. So I consider it to be not age appropriate for your 16 year old.

I feel lego type toys are different because any age can enjoy building something. The toy-being-alive aspect isn’t there with construction type toys.

amother

Bluebonnet

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes he is definitely a bit different (quirky?) to other kids his age. We do see that to some extent, and he's in a very small 'specialised' yeshiva with more one of one staff. It's hard because he's our oldest. When I bring up these 'little' concerns to my dh, he's like you. And so what? Everyone is different. But still, I worry. I'm worried about who will want to marry him, will she handle him?! Etc...I guess he's got a lot of growing up to do in all areas but still I can't help but worry.

Is he on the spectrum?

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Dec 11 2023, 6:12 am

amother OP wrote:

He might be. No one has ever mentioned it. I've definitely thought it at times.

I’m sorry but I completely disagree with you and your husband’s parenting approach. Nothing to do with the action figures but I do not believe your doing your son any favors by not getting him evaluated. You think you are trying to protect his self esteem but in reality you could be doing the opposite. He deserves to understand himself and possibly get some intervention to help him with areas that he may need. Offering him therapy and him not wanting tells me he doesn’t have great self esteem and in addition to your avoidance to deal with any issues he understands the message loud and clear.