Dd 11 - fasting for how long?

Elfrida

Sat, Sep 23 2023, 1:27 pm

The most common minhag seems to be the three fasts before Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

Some people do fasting until chatzot during this period.

Not everyone does any 'practice'. I didn't fast at all before I was twelve, and the first time I did I wondered what all the fuss had been about.

amother

NeonOrange

Sat, Sep 23 2023, 1:43 pm

It depends a lot on what they want as well.
We do the 3 fasts before so YK wouldn't be included.
My oldest is ten and he wanted to fast tisha bav. He did until chatzos.
I think there's an inyan on YK of children to fast the night if old enough to understand. So she could do just that, it doesn't have to be more.

amother

Daylily

Sat, Sep 23 2023, 2:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Our oldest dd is 11 years old. How long should she train to fast on this last YK before she turns bat mitza next summer? I know I can aylor, but I'd like to know what others do.

We did the 3 fasts for our older ones until our Rav told us there's no source to this minhag. My son saw that Rav Shlomo Zalman brings down that one shouldn't do it even if they did in the past.
Please ask your Rav what to do

amother

Lemon

Sat, Sep 23 2023, 3:34 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Let her see how long she can last. There is no inyan to fast before bar or bat mitzvah, so let her do whatever she feels she is able to.

There is defintely an inyan for an 11 year old to fast on Yom Kippur. It’s mentioned explicitly in the shulchan aruch. And I’ll actually pull it up from sefaria.

“A young, strong boy a full nine years old as well as a full ten year old boy, we train him to do it (fast) for a few hours. How is this; if he used to eat at the two o’clock hour (8:00 A.M. in our time period), we feed him at the three o’clock hour (9:00 A.M.). If he used to eat at the three o’clock hour, we feed him at the four o’clock hour, and according to the strength of the boy we increase his fasting by hours, (and this is also the law for a healthy young girl), (טור). An eleven year old child, whether a boy or a girl fasts for the complete day, as we learn from the words of the Soferim to train them in the commandments.
Hagah: There are those who say that (for children) according to the rabbis’ rulings, it is not necessary to complete the fast at all, (ר״ן וא״ז ובהגהות מיימוני בשם ה״ג דרוקח ורא״ם). You may rely upon this (lenient decision of the Yeish Omrim) with respect to a youth who is thin and is not strong enough to fast, (616:2)

Not everyone holds by the stricter opinion mentioned in shulchan aruch which is fine. But to say there is NO inyan is literally the opposite of the shulchan aruch.

Again. Feel free to ask your Rav. But this is a direct quote.

zoom

Sat, Sep 23 2023, 3:43 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

We heard this from our rov too.

He quoted Reb shlomo zalman
He said none of his children ever fasted full day before they were Bar or Bas Mitzvah.

We were very surprised as both myself and my husband did the 3 fasts ourselves.