Vach nacht 101 please

amother

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 9:40 pm

Bh we just had our first boy. I know we're supposed to do a thing the night before the bris but I don't know much about it, not sure if I've ever been to one. If someone can walk me through that would be stupendous.

Please note we are simple, low key people on a budget. There will be no caterer nor party planner or even decor. The theme is pretend it's 1990. Like 20 or so neighborhood kinderlach in our living room. They get pekelach of supermarket candy? Or just nosh to eat while here? How does the goodies situation go?

Is there a target age range? Is there a point that you outgrow going to a vach nacht because it's a kid thing? Trying to estimate how many kids to prepare for (it's a small enough community that we'll just send a public invitation to everyone)

I know the idea is for the kids to say shema around the baby. Do they say the whole shema with veahavta? Or just the pasuk of shema? Or something else? Do they all say it together or each kid on their own as they come?

I want to include both boys and girls. We are more JPF but several of my neighbors are very yeshivish. Would they be expecting the girls and boys to do it separately? Would that mean separate times, or separate sides of the room, or what?

Does night before the bris mean after dark or can it be before night? Does it matter?

What am I forgetting to ask?

Tia!!

exhausted

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 9:44 pm

I'm not sure if things are different in your community, but in mine it is generally only boys, and just a few. For me it was cousins and/or neighbors. It's a very short, simple thing. Boys say shema and we give them little treats. No peklach etc.

amother

Anemone

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 10:05 pm

My cousin made pekelach for the kids. It was pretzels and a candy. We had a bunch of kids (majority family) I would invite the neighbors and say like it's at 7:00 and whenever the kids come, they come. You could just announce the vach nacht and whoever wants to come, Will come. Dont put an age range, its up to them. You could have rolling admission. My brother had 4 sessions of people come to his vach nacht (not fancy just alot of people came for the bris) if you don't make a big deal about the boys and girls, noone else will either. They're at your house for like 5 minutes, MAYBE 10.
Mazel tov and don't stress about this part Smile

Eta: they say shema and v'eahavta. You could wait 3 minutes for more kids to come once one shows up but if more people come after, have em say it too!

amother

Tiffanyblue

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 10:07 pm

Meant to be around shkiah time. Boys under bar mitzva I think but often little girls come too.
A little pekele with chips a wafer and a Lilly is enough.
If you don’t want a bunch of little geeky kids hands touching your baby only invite a few families you know the mother will be watching their kids

imasinger

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 10:14 pm

Mazel tov!

Number of peckelach -- ask a neighbor for a likely estimate.

Time -- you decide. Can be before shkia too, especially in the summer.

Put Baby in a seat. Kids usually come a few at a time. When they knock, welcome them, ask them if they're ready to say shema to the baby, tell them they did a beautiful job, hand them a bag of chips and a lolly, and send them in their way.

When you've had enough, close the door and bring Baby away. If you want, just don't answer the door for a bit. Otherwise, anyone who comes after this gets told, "I'm so sorry! Thanks for thinking about us, we love you!" Maybe give them peckelach anyway.