Help me overcome my guilt

amother

Mon, Oct 04 2021, 11:04 pm

amother [ Eggplant ] wrote:

Sorry but I also would be upset to not be able to send dairy. If you aren’t working picking him up before lunch seems like the best option, and get him speech therapy.

He does get speech therapy already.

amother

Mon, Oct 04 2021, 11:20 pm

It's interesting. I started this thread feeling guilty about asking people not to send dairy. I fully expected this thread to be about people telling me its okay to ask such a request under the circumstances, and not to feel guilty.

Instead the vast majority of you said that you would be upset at such a request. I'm really glad I asked this question! Especially since the morah didn't see anything wrong with it. I certainly do not want to chance upsetting other people or coming off as entitled.

So, to the OP who asked the question earlier this morning whether Imamothers are helpful, I say a resounding yes!

Thank you all you wonderful Imas for your honest and thoughtful feedback and advice.

amother

Mon, Oct 04 2021, 11:37 pm

scintilla wrote:

I'm a preschool teacher and I can remember 2 students in my school (didn't personally teach them) who were anaphylactic to dairy. I'll tell you what we did for each, however keep in mind that the school provides all food (hot lunch & snacks).

One was in the 2s class and the mother would pick her up before lunch because it invariably had dairy on it. Another was in the 4s class, and they either had one teacher take her out at lunch time and give her just the dairy free components of the meal, or gave the whole class an alternative meal (half the lunches were fleishig so it was more workable).

I don't see how you could do the second option, but if you're considering keeping him home anyways, maybe snacks (provided by parents or by you) can be dairy free and you pick him up before lunch? Definitely not the most convenient option but at least then he gets some social interaction, which I agree is so valuable at this age.

Hatzlacha!!

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it!

esther11

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 12:02 am

Food allergies are really tough!

I have a friend who’s child has major allergies also, and she was able to get a shadow covered by medical insurance. Her child does have an official diagnosis (I don’t remember what it’s called, but something about being allergic to nearly all proteins). The shadow goes to play group with the child to keep an extra eye on everything.
This may be something to look into.

amother

Daphne

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 12:17 am

I’m an allergy kid mom and I don’t know the answer.

I think what imasinger said is good.

I think because it’s such a small group you probably could ask - but its tricky.

What about the other idea where the Morah is really on top of your son during meal times and snack times. Like he sits strapped into a booster and doesn’t come out till she washes everyone’s hands and the counter?

I get what a big deal it is either way. I wish I knew.

The only things I do know is that in my city two families BH made it work to send their their severe allergy kids to a group at either 2 or 3 years old.

One was a severe dairy allergy and I’m not sure about the other.

If you choose not to ask re dairy, you can definitely ask re fish and sesame.
(And give examples)

amother

Caramel

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 2:41 am

amother [ Phlox ] wrote:

I looked up this doctor because my dc is also alergic to several things. It seams the doctor practices NAET. And there is a website to look up practitioners practicing NAET so you can see if someone practices close to you.

https://www.naet.com/practitioner-locator/

Cool, I have no idea. DH said his pediatrician in Cleveland forwarded them to this doctor. He had a ton of allergies and most of them went away after 1-2 treatments with him.

saboni

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 12:20 pm

Didn’t read all responses. I would offer to send supply snack/lunch daily for all the kids. It’s a big imposition, but worth the effort for you to have your son in day care and will make it doable for the other parents.

amother

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 1:23 pm

OP here. So today I arrived earlier than usual (I usually come about an hour late) and there was one kid there eating a chocolate sandwich at the table. I guess it was his breakfast. While I'm still holding onto my kid, the morah called the mother and asked what's in the chocolate spread. She reassured her that it's hazelnut, not peanut. So I got on the phone and said, "And its parve, right?" I don't know why I assumed it was parve.

But she "No, its dairy! Is that a problem?" And I said that I just need to know because my son is severely allergic to dairy. She said, no problem, I wont send any dairy. I quickly reassured her that I don't mean to be matriach her, I just need to know so we keep my baby separate. But she said that she doesn't mind not sending dairy, she just didn't know. I told her its fine, as long as she tells the morah if something is dairy.
In any case, I think kids usually only eat at specific times, but she allowed him to eat the sandwich because he was the only kid there.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the morah. Such stress.

keym

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 1:45 pm

The rule needs to be if someone is eating, your child goes in the stroller/high chair/gated area. Until the food is finished and cleaned up.
And probably, all meals/snacks have designated start and end times that the parents are aware of.

I as a parent would be less inconvenienced by breakfast 9-9:30, snack 11-11:15, lunch 1-1:30, snack 3-3:15. If you come late, please feed your kid at home. Rather than no peanuts, no dairy.
Especially since for non allergic parents, they won't think about the buttery knife used to cut the bagel, the dairy chocolate, that type of stuff.

amother

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 1:56 pm

amother [ Phlox ] wrote:

So the little that I read about NAET on different threads makes it sound like a treatment protocol for every ailment under the sun, not just allergies. Is it legit?

I have only gone the traditional route.

Have any of you allergy moms tried NAET, reflexology, kinesiology or the like?
My son is so limited in what he can eat because of his allergies, and additionally, he likely has EOE. He also suffers from eczema. Another issue that is keeping me hopping is his lack of speech development, which seems to be a processing issue. (otherwise he is adorable and very smart!)

So I am open to hearing about alternative treatments!

amother

Caramel

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 1:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not sure if you saw my original response but DH’s whole family was helped by it. DH literally was allergic to milk, eggs, flour, tons of stuff.....and it went away.

He knows many other people from his city who were helped.

amother

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 2:22 pm

amother [ Caramel ] wrote:

I did, thanks! I wanted to hear if any other moms have gone that route.
I am nowhere near Cleveland, so if this is an ongoing type of treatment protocol, it wouldn't be nogea to use this doctor.
But I can look into a practitioner in my city.

amother

Cobalt

Tue, Oct 05 2021, 4:34 pm

I had a playgroup and honestly you can’t really trust other moms not to send stuff that would be bad for your dc. People mean well but they forget or don’t realize a particular food is a problem. I would not want to risk my dc’s safety. 😢 It’s really hard to control what toddlers bring in on their hands, coats, pockets…and they get into bag that are left out by mistake.