Toilet trained kid having constant accidents

Active Poster Joined: Aug 22 2007 Posts: 65

I need HELP! My almost three year old son has been toilet trained for a few months now. It was a long hard process to do it but it was done. Now he has been having accidents every day for the past two weeks. Why would this happen? He knows the sensation when he has to go, and he was able to hold it in for a little while if he wasn't right near a bathroom. How can he just forget that he needs to go? What do I do?
Oh, and also he is going thru s/t very weird now. He is just not acting h/self. He refuses to go to day camp when he loved going up till now. He has been acting up alot these past two weeks. Not listening to a/t I say. It might all be related but I keep trying to think what it could be thats triggering this behavior and I cant think of anything. I asked his counselors if a/t happened in camp to him and they said no, he was great and seemed fine. I am very stressed out by all this so if s/o can offer some ideas/advice that would be very appreciated.

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 30 2004 Posts: 3194

Did you ask him? kids are funny sometimes even young children. Something must be bothering him, has his environment changed or his sleep schedule.. anything can trigger weird behavior even something really insignificant.

My 3 year old daughter is going through the exact same thing. She was perfectly toilet trained and just about the time she started day camp (in a new place) she started having accidents every day. Her underwear was always wet. I found that this happened a few times over the last few months, that every time we went somewhere new (to the country for shabbos, to my parents) she would have an accident.
I was also thinking that maybe it had to do with wearing a bathing suit every day - I think because she felt wet down there during swimming time she thought it was ok to go during sprinkler time Confused

and this may have led her to not use the bathroom (she told me on a few occasions that she did this, don't you love the innocence?)
This month I had to go back to square one: every hour I told her to go to the bathroom and "try" even if she didn't need to go. Slowly, slowly it started working and when she felt her underwear get wet she would run. Now b'h it's much better (for around a week). It's very frustrating to go backwards but I think it's normal for kids to do this. I know a few people who told me that their kids regressed in this manner.
Good luck!

something MUST be bothering him! find out what... poor kid

Active Poster Joined: Aug 22 2007 Posts: 65

I asked him a million times but he's just not old enough to express himself in this kind of situation. I ask him questions to try to get him to think about what's going on but again . . . nothing.
I forgot to mention that I am about to have a baby. Would that make him act this way? I keep telling him that we are going to have a new baby around, but does he really understand this concept in advcance to know that it will take away from his attention?

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

of course! he is probably very nervous and uncertain about the new baby coming....... reincforcuing your lvoe to him can help, but im suyre it will be hard those first few months with new baby

Yes, the idea of having a new baby means he is no longer the baby. Of course, they understand more than they can express.

Don't over emphasize the "big brother" thing, but talk about how you're going to need his help, and how excited the new baby is going to be about having him as a brother, etc, and how its going to be great bringing the baby home, and having him help you take care of him and show him all different things, because the baby won't know anything when it comes home, but it will need a big brother to help, and OVER OVER OVER fuss every time he DOES go to the bathroom appropriately.

And tell him how proud the baby will be to know that he's using the toilet appropriately, and give that baby so much emotions, etc, about being proud of its big brother.

That makes the baby seem like a FRIEND and not an intrusion and they can be supportive of each other.

Lots of fuss and excitement when he does it RIGHT, and a lot less mention of it not being done right.
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Mom to 7+3+8, [33 to 21], two SILs and one DIL & 3 cute gd's and 5 handsome gs's. And a greatl DH. BARUCH HASHEM

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