Spoiled Children

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

How would you define a "spoiled child"? I'll post what I thought before I heard a shiur that discussed this and also what the one giving the shiur said, after I hear some of your opinions. Smile

Posted: Thu, Jun 29 2006, 12:53 pm Post subject: re: Spoiled Children

A spoiled child is the center of the universe or at least of his family. He has no concept of anyone elses feelings but his own. If his actions or disruptiveness disturb others, oh well, but at least this little guy is HAPPY. His happiness is his parent's main concern; not how he relates to others or treats others. His parents will stop at nothing to make him happy because if he is not happy than nobody else can be either. He knows that he just needs to display a bit of unhappiness and whatever he wants is HIS. Sometimes the parents do this out of guilt and other times it is just too hard to hear the WHINING so he gets his way. Does it sound like I have met some spoiled children?

Posted: Thu, Jun 29 2006, 12:57 pm Post subject: re: Spoiled Children

spoiling = doing something for the child that he/she is capable of doing on his own.

abusing = expecting the child to do something that he isn't capable of doing himself.

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 27 2005 Posts: 6797

A spoiled child is a child who has no set/firm limits or boundaries in their life.

Posted: Thu, Jun 29 2006, 1:02 pm Post subject:

I split it into 2 kinds of spoiling, spoiling with "things" and spoiling with love. In the first kind, the child receives every material object they want- food, toys, trips, etc. In spoiling with love, the child feels that everybody is crazy over them, and they get a proportionate amount of attention.

When you spoil a kid with love it can be fine as long as you discipline them as well. The problem occurred in my case where everyone spoiled a certain sibling, but I was the only one to discipline as well. And then I left home... Laughing

Silver Member Joined: Jun 05 2006 Posts: 894

spoiled child does not feel gratitude, takes it all for granted

Senior Member Joined: Jun 13 2006 Posts: 139

the word 'appreciate' or 'deserve' is just not in the spoiled child's dictionary
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Executive Member Joined: Jul 10 2005 Posts: 271

Platinum Member Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48223

they say you can't love too much, but it's a fine line, I'll grant yu that.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

mali, I actually learned that in seminary.

a spoiled child is a child with absolutely no responsibilities.
a neglected child is a child with way too many responsibilities.

Posted: Thu, Jun 29 2006, 2:35 pm Post subject: re: Spoiled Children

GR, I like the term "neglected" better than "abused", thanks.

I also learned that in seminary, but it was in Hebrew, so my translation isn't accurate.

I disagree with "no responsibilities whatsoever". I think it's "not enough responsibilities". It's the same idea, though.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

youre probably right about that.

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

Posted: Sun, Jul 02 2006, 5:17 pm Post subject: Re: re: Spoiled Children

Posted: Sun, Jul 02 2006, 6:13 pm Post subject: Re: re: Spoiled Children

Posted: Sun, Jul 02 2006, 6:18 pm Post subject: Re: re: Spoiled Children

Posted: Sun, Jul 02 2006, 6:20 pm Post subject: re: Spoiled Children

A spoiled child is one who gets what he wants rather than what he needs.

Posted: Sun, Jul 02 2006, 6:23 pm Post subject: Re: re: Spoiled Children

Gold Member Joined: Mar 28 2005 Posts: 1070

we're so careful not to 'give in' and spoil our kids, that sometimes when my kids ask for something, I have to stop my automtic no and think ,why not, they are so excited, n/t wrong with giving them a treat or s/t special. we all like special things, why not our kids. but, just not all the time, and not in response to screaming and tantrums.

Posted: Mon, Jul 03 2006, 3:08 pm Post subject: re: Spoiled Children

mother48, exactly my point.