Not fasting - how much is proper to eat?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Other special days

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Thu, Jul 09 2009, 9:43 am

I am not fasting today because I am nursing. But I always have a guilty feeling when I eat on fast days that maybe I am eating too much. I try not to have extra snacks (like chocolate or yummy fruit) but I always have a hard time knowing at what point it's just eating because you need to and what you can do without because it is a sad day for klal yisroel and you shouldn't indulge just beause you are not fasting, kwim?

How do you draw the line for yourself?

freidasima

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 9:48 am

My mother in law just sent me a beautiful post on this one as she who is thirty six years older than I am has no trouble fasting but I have to eat because of medications.

So she writes: "freidasima, you have to eat, and you know well enough what the difference is between eating enough to keep you going and having a banquet".

Or as my dh said to me this morning, once you eat, as long as it isn't meat and wine it's not a halochic problem. For other things, depends on what you need.

Sometimes a pregnant or nursing mother feels a need for something sweet, if you can eat it and your body needs it, dont deny yourself, listen to your body.

If you aren't like me and just need to eat so that you don't faint with medications, then for me it was enough to have a fruit for breakfast, and a few rice crackers and a soy spread for lunch with a cut up cucumber and to drink herbal tea. If you need more, eat more. Eggs, cheese, whatever. For me, cravings don't hold...oh well...had enough of them while pregnant!

lech lecha08

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 10:48 am

I try not to go overboard either, just eat enough to take the edge off.
Last tisha b'av was very strange for me. I had had a c-section less than 2 weeks before and our rav told me it was assur for me to fast. I drank, but only ate a little of my 2 year old's lunch and by the time the rest of the family broke their fast, I was definitely feeling hungry too.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 10:56 am

SV, as far as I have been instructed, I should eat as normally when providing nourishment for a baby. A nursing mother is many times hungry because she needs a whole lot of extra calories (500-650) and snacking is actually ENCOURAGED for nursing mothers. Sure, you shouldn't decide your snack will be that tub of ice cream in your freezer davka today, but don't feel guilty if you have a granola bar as a snack.

Side note: when my brother was around 7, he used to make us drink lemon juice on Tisha B'av since we weren't fasting (he's a year older than me)...as creative as he is, and very thoughtful about Yiddishkeit, there was absolutely no basis to do what he did. No candy, but no forcing sour things either.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 11:01 am

My LOR told me to eat completely normally. Not to eat any less, or to avoid any foods. My parents, who grew up differently (just eat the bare minimum if you're not fasting, eat "boring" foods) think I'm crazy, but that's what my LOR says.

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 11:01 am

The thing is my "baby" is a year old already. So nursing is definitely not his primary source of nourishment. I pump at work usually once and then I nurse couple of times in the evening and usually once at night/early morning.

Mama Bear

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 11:03 am

I eat normally on a fast day. No different.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 11:06 am

SV wrote:

I'm only nursing about three times a day these days. My baby eats fine, Boruch Hashem.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 11:15 am

SV wrote:

Basically the same situation here...11 months, pump twice, nurse a few times at night. (And in the morning)...You don't want your supply to go down because you limited snacks without the instruction of a rav...

Health is a Virture

Sat, Jul 11 2009, 4:01 pm

when my baby was 1 1/2 years old, I was told to totally not fast, nor attempt. I have been told that I should eat regularly, just not wine or meat. I try to not have any sweets, and encourage my children to do the same. But other than that, I eat and drink as much as I need, as if it was a regular day. From what I understand it's either you are fasting or you are not (no quasi line, 'cept Yom kippur.)

ora_43

Sat, Jul 11 2009, 4:17 pm

I was told to eat and drink normally, but not to eat purely for pleasure. What exactly to eat or not eat was left to me -- for some people fruit juice is a necessity when they're pregnant, for others it's a normal beverage + for others a treat, for some salty snacks are necessary + for some they're an indulgence, etc, so there are no hard and fast rules AFAIK except on wine and meat as previous posters said. Only the individual can know when she's eating out of need and when it's purely for enjoyment.

Like Health is a Virtue, I learned that with minor fasts it's either "fasting" or "no fasting," and once you aren't fasting there's no need to restrict yourself food-wise as long as you're respecting the spirit of the day.

ETA: If your rav holds that you don't fast minor days, that's basically saying you have an obligation not to risk your milk supply, even if it's not your baby's only source of nutrition. Being "machmir" on fasting can be "meikel" on nursing. So remember -- if your rabbi tells you to eat normally and you do, you are being machmir on nursing. Don't be "meikel" on what your rabbi says is important by going too far in fasting.

(Also, when I asked about suffering on minor fast days if I'm eating, my rav said something along the lines of, "You're pregnant; you're already suffering a bit, yes?" The pregnancy or nursing in itself is what you give on the fast day while others give up food.)

Last edited by ora_43 on Sat, Jul 11 2009, 4:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

Pizza

Sat, Jul 11 2009, 4:22 pm

As I understand it, nursing is nursing, whether your baby is 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years

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