how can we expect respect if Rebbes dont show any?

Abigail

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 10:07 am

I teach English in a very orthodox school. It has always bothered me the chutzpah and the disrespect some pupils display. I always wondered where it came from and how it could end up so bad. But today I have seen once again the answer as to why this is happening, maybe not the only reason but one of the reasons.
As I was walking across the play area to go home, a pupil of mine(we are talking about 8-9 year old boys) comes up to me and says, 'Miss, X has just thrown an apple core at Y' I turn and I see Y is sitting on the floor crying. And X( a challenging pupil is playing happily with his peers) I explained I was just on my way home but the Rebbe on duty should be told. Just then the Rebbe looks up and sees me standing there so I said in a very respectful manner I think there has been an issue between X and Y.
The Rebbe (a very young guy, straight out of yeshiva) turns and waves his hand in dismissal at me and says I know its fine. I will deal with it. (ie please stop interfering Im the Rebbe I know what Im doing)

I walked away thinking, all the boys saw the way a Rebbe dismissed an ’English’ teacher just like that, my pupils whom I am going to have to teach tomorrow, saw the way I was spoken down to. I know that the Rebbes do not need to show me a lot of respect and always listen BUT to be spoken down to infront of the pupils, im not sure how can I expect respect from them if that’s the way the 'english, secular' staff are being treated by the rebbes who they all aspire to be.
As teachers we are always ensuring respect towards everyone especially Rebbes. I dont understand maybe im missing something. (please not this is not in anyway meant to bash the Rebbes in any school, there are some great Rebbes out there who are really looking out for the pupils and will do whatever it takes to help.)

zaq

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 11:29 am

you do say that this "rebbe" was a young guy.I've seen that a lot of bocherim have this very cavalier, breezy attitude towards everyone except maybe their rebbeim. Arrogance isn't the sole property of youth, but it seems to me that much of youth is arrogant, and that arrogance hopefully lessens with time. It may have had nothing to do with this guy being a rebbe and everything to do with his being young. I don't know how old you are, maybe you're young, too. Maybe he would have been more respectful of a woman old enough to be his grandmother and is dismissive of you b/c you're young, not that that makes it right. OTOH, if you're truly old enough to be his mother, then he's guilty of dissing not only a colleague but an older person. I would call this guy aside and explain to him, nicely, that while he surely intended no disrespect in his exchange with you, it could easily have been interpreted as such by the boys in his class, and that makes for very bad chinuch.

Looking at it from his side, though, he may have felt that you were invading his turf, or showing your doubts as to his ability as a teacher to handle his kids. Not that that makes it right for him to treat you dismissively.

Hopefully this fellow is the exception rather than the rule?