Name never grew on me

amother

OP ↓

Today at 11:15 am

I often see lots of posts about naming a name you didn't like but it grew on you. Am I the only one that this never happened? Child is getting older and I still don't like the name. Bh does not affect my relationship with them in any way, but I just cannot bring myself to use their name. I use a bunch of cutesy names, none of which are related to the actual name, but never the name. I just don't like it, and at almost 3, it seems I never will. Anyone else had this?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 11:35 am

amother Lemonlime wrote:

What are the emotional reasons behind not liking the name?
Work on those

None. I just don't like it. It's old fashioned and I don't like the sound of it.

amother

Navy

Today at 12:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

None. I just don't like it. It's old fashioned and I don't like the sound of it.

Once you already gave the kid a name it's kinda too late and too bad on you. It's not fair to the kid to change their name because you don't like it...why did you give a name you don't like?

amother

Rainbow

Today at 1:01 pm

I am in the same boat. I can't stand my 2 year old name. I just use a silly name for him and he is almost outgrowing it. I need help. I did not have a choice in the name. My husband insisted on this name even though it told him that I can't stand this name.

amother

Peony

Today at 1:07 pm

That is hard! Why don't you come up with a good nickname that you can use even as they grow older. I know several people whose name is nothing like their actual given name, it's just something that they've been called most of their life. Why don't you try that? Although if they are older already it might be too late for that.
I have a child whose name I didn't like but we had to name them that, and once I heard somebody who makes everything sound cool say the name all of a sudden it sounded better to me lol

amother

↑ OP

Today at 1:09 pm

Named after dh's parent, so didn't really have a choice. It would have hurt him so badly if we didn't name after. I don't like any of the possible nicknames for the name either. I just really don't like the name at all.

amother

Grape

Today at 1:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

None. I just don't like it. It's old fashioned and I don't like the sound of it.

If you want to get used to the sound and start liking it, it's pretty likely to help if you start using the name regularly. You like your kid and you will associate the name with your child instead of your old associations like dislike and old-fashioned.
If you're avoiding the name, it makes sense that your feelings didn't change.
Obviously it's up to you.

icedcoffee

Today at 3:42 pm

Honestly, I think you should push yourself to use the name. It's one thing when they're young and you can use cutesy nicknames, but as a person gets older, their name develops as a part of their identity. Psychologically it builds relationships between people when you call them by their name. I would worry that subconsciously they'll register some sort of disconnect, even small, because their mom never calls them by their name. Plus, it'll help you get used to it and attach the name to them.

amother

Daphne ↓

Today at 3:44 pm

Op please get help and work on yourself to like the name. I’m sure your child is feeling it and it’s not fair to them.

Dh thinks I’m crazy but I refuse to give a name I don’t like no matter what. This post proves my point.

amother

Turquoise

Today at 3:54 pm

Eh. I don't like DH name--neither does he--and everyone calls him by his nickname. I only use his official name when I'm spitting mad and trying to be offensive. And we're married over 40 years. Lots of people are never called by their official names.

amother

Eggplant

Today at 3:55 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

I hear that but in this case the name is after her husband’s parent. I think it would be really horrible not to name after your spouses parent because you don’t like the name. Grandparents is a different story

amother

Snowdrop ↓

Today at 3:57 pm

OP youre not crazy.

My good friend told me recently she gave her oldest daughter a name she didnt like, because it was the name of a grandmother to be named after etc, and they had aaked a Rav what to do, being that she didnt like the name, and he told them to just give the name and she will get used to it.

Try as she might (and she told me she really did try), she simply could not get used to the name, and to this day she cringes inside when she uses it. (Its not even a weird name. Its common enough, she just happens to really dislike it)

Fast forward to her next kid who was to be named after someone, with another name she didnt like. They asked the same Rav, who said the same thing "name after, and eventually you'll get used to it." When she respectfully told him that she never got used to her oldest daughter's name, he said forget it, dont give the name, name something else and thats it.

amother

↑ Snowdrop

Today at 3:57 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

op, please grow up.
if you mature enough to be a mother, you're mature enough to tolerate a name.

Sad that a mother should have to tolerate a name, instead of being able to choose a name for her child that she loves.

amother

↑ Daphne

Today at 3:57 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

Then I would add a name, like something from the parsha or yt. No reason to call a kid by a name you don’t like, it’s not fair to the kid. It’s not their fault you were forced to give the name.