Please help my 13 year old

amother

Tue, Jul 16 2024, 1:49 am

My 13 year old is generally a good kid but we are so frustrated with what seems to be a total disconnect when it comes to respecting authority, or takijng no for an answer.He's genuinely convinced that he knows better, and we can explain until we are blue in the face, and it might eventually force an apology or he will say OK I get it, but it's clear he really doesn't, or isn't really sorry for certain behaviors, but will say so just to get us off his back.

We have had this issue since he is younger. What is there to do about this? I feel it's like he's missing a certain connection in this area, or not processing it or something.

It's terrible because we end up lashing out at him even though he may not be at fault for not understanding. For example he can't understand why it's OK for a parent to interrupt him but he's not allowed to interrupt a parent. Or if we take away computer time as a consequence, he will push and push about why can't he use it etc, and can't take no for an answer.
In general when we say no to something he wants he gets very sullen and upset, he can't seem to deal with that rejection and frustration in a normal way.
I feel terrible because he is a good kid and has tons of potential but these issues are becoming more concerning as he gets older .

Any advice re how we can help him?

salt

Tue, Jul 16 2024, 6:45 am

How often does he have computer time? And how often is it taken away?
Give it to him as a reward for complying or helping out or behaving well, rather than taking it away as a punishment.
What is taking computer time away a consequence for? Consequence means it is directly related, eg. He didn't switch off the computer when it was time to go to bed, and was tired the next morning, therefore he cannot use the computer the next evening.
But not, he was rude to his brother and didn't put his socks in the laundry, therefore no computer time this afternoon.

Secondly, it's not so nice to interrupt a child either, unless it's something super important that can't wait, but then that's the same in the other direction.
Unless you mean that he just thinks that everything is super important so he interrupts the whole time.
Does he interrupt a lot, or was that just a little example? Because if he does, he's probably looking for attention. Do you give him the attention he needs - he might need one-on-one attention, more than his siblings. Any way you or DH can take him out for an ice cream, just for fun?