Not having patience to the younger kids

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 9:17 pm

What happens when you have some married kids, some teens some younger kids and you find yourself not having patience left for the younger batch? I feel terrible to write this but that's my life the past few years. Nobody warned us when we were in the 30's that we won't be able to handle all age groups in 10 years time.
I find myself exhausted and worn out and can't do homework, projects, bedtime the way I did it with the first few kids. I feel like a horrible mother but the more I force myself the more frustrated I become. I just want all little ones to grow up overnight because I feel too depleted to still deal with little ones.
Yes, I take a much help as possible.
Yes, my husband and teens pitch in.
I'm still the only mother they have and they have an exhausted worn out mother who simply has no patience left to young kids. I'm physically drained so automatically can't handle much emotionally. Please don't recommend self care. I already do whatever is possible to take care of myself but no matter what I try I can't get my young patience back and my kids feel it.
I feel terrible for my younger kids. Anyone relate? Chizzuk appreciated!

amother

Tealblue

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 9:41 pm

It’s part of being the youngest/ younger kids. My mother had me when she was in her 40s. I was a bit resentful that she never had energy for me as I was quite active. But I’m fine I love her she loves me never doubted it and guess what sometimes love is all you need. I’m sure your kids will be fine. They have each other they have their older siblings and their father. I hope you stop beating yourself up about it. Be happy around them give them hugs and tell them how much you love them and appreciate them and be”h they’ll grow up just fine.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 9:44 pm

You're a better mother than you think, keep going! you're building another big branch to your tree.. its worth it

a mother once took out her oldest daughter and youngest daughter to an ice cream store. she bought the baby girl a slush. big girl says "mom, when I was a kid you only let me have a half a slush and my sister gets a full one?". mother responds " you got a half a slush with a whole mother and she gets whole slush but half a mother" lol, just how it is!

amother

Teal

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 10:03 pm

Are there practical steps you can take to spend more time with the younger ones?

I am 43, don't have any marrieds yet but have older teens down to little ones, and I don't feel the way you do. I feel that I do have patience bh and spend lots of time with them.

See what you can do to spend more time with them.

Also keep in mind that every place in the family has pros and cons and each child was given the place in the family they're supposed to have, with it's pluses and minuses. It's all ordained from HkbH.

amother

Jasmine

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 12:06 am

My parents are 60 and still have teens at home. They've been so so burnt out for the past 15 years, that the kids are really suffering. They have no energy left for raising children & I genuinely don't understand why they had the last few kids. The kids aren't having it easy.
OP, please please do everything you can to be patient and present for your kids at home, focus on them more than on the marrieds. Make sure they feel wanted, that you have patience for them, and that they don't feel & see your frustration all the time.