inspirational -midas hakaas

zufriedene ↓

Tue, Jul 29 2008, 3:49 pm

I accepted MOTEK"S suggestion in opening up this thread, copying it from a different forum for more members to enjoy.

a father told his son he'll help him overcome his midas hakaas, every time he felt his anger rising he was supposed to go out to the yard and knock a nail into the fence.
the first day he put up about 30 nails, and every day the number went down , till one day he said father , today I didnt have to put up even one nail .
so stage two the father says if u still find yourself dealing with anger start pulling out nails,
it took awhile, but finally there were no more nails.
the father walks outside with the son and says, u see what I see, a fence full of holes,
anger , even when conquered has repurcussions, this is a difficult lesson.
what I learned from it is ,eventhough we are sorry and apologize, memories remain.
A VERY VERY GREAT musar haskel

Last edited by zufriedene on Tue, Jul 29 2008, 4:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

↑ zufriedene ↓

Tue, Jul 29 2008, 3:56 pm

I am not chabad , but recently saw a beautiful vort from the last LUbavithcher Rebbe A"H, that touched me very and I want to share it . I hope I can be very exact, but if I"M making a mistake I"d appreciate to be corrected/
A man asked the Rebbe , whats his' mission, so the Rebbe showes him a candle and asked him what do u see, and he said I see a candle. and the Rebbe said, no u see a chunk of wax and a wick. the chunk is compared to the yid and the wick is compared to tora and mitzvos, I urge yidden all over to be shomer tora and mitzvos, when a yid serves Hashem and is mkaim MItzvos and his wick is lit then its a candle, no more a chunk of wax and a wick.so the man asked Rebbe, Did you light my candle, where as the Rebbe answered, " no I dont light the candles, I just show the right path, every yid has to light his own candle" obviously every one is responsible for his decisions on shmiras Tora and Mitzvas.

Last edited by zufriedene on Tue, Jul 29 2008, 4:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, Jul 29 2008, 4:53 pm

Thanks, zufriedene!
Here is a version that I received from a friend a few years ago...

NAIL IN THE FENCE
A Good Story for Great Friends.....
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence!

There once was a little girl who had a bad temper.
Her mother gave her a bag of nails and told her that every time
she lost her temper, she must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the girl had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the
next few weeks, as she learned to control her anger, the number of nails
hammered daily gradually dwindled down. She discovered it was easier to
hold her temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the girl didn't lose her temper at all.
She told her mother about it and the mother suggested that the girl now
pull out one nail for each day that she was able to hold her temper.
The day passed and the young girl was finally able to tell her mother that
all the nails were gone. The mother took her daughter by the hand and led her to the fence.

She said, "You have done well, my daughter, but look at the holes in
the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one." You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence.

Lechatchila Ariber ↓

Tue, Jul 29 2008, 9:58 pm

Motek, it makes the rope shorter and it's also stronger with the knot. Don't we learn this in Chassidus?

regarding the nails, ok so we have some holes left behind, now the next step is to get some putty and fill up those holes.
Otherwise what are we saying? that a person can't do teshuva? What

I know that story and always felt saddened by it. It's a rather pessimistic view.
People have faults and should be given the chance to rectify them. Yes there are ramifications when we do wrong but we believe in the power of Teshuva and changing the bad to good.

↑ Lechatchila Ariber ↓

Tue, Jul 29 2008, 10:29 pm

I know that but I'd like to think that a even when it comes to bein adam lachaveiro, a wound is curable.

(Especially between parents and their children such as those in the story).

Filling up the holes can be done and I would have liked to see that message illustrated in the story as well.