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-> Miscellaneous
coloredleaves
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 Fri, Nov 10 2023, 12:33 am
How much are you able to help with your daughters after they have a baby? If they stay at your house how do you balance other kids needs and working. I want to be able to do everything, but between working - even taking off soem hours- and carpools and homework for other kids I find I am helpful but not able to treat them like a princess and do all the things I want for them. I still think it's very helpful but it isn't the dream picture I imagined of being able to serve three meals and have everything nice. The house is still flying with so many things going on. It's messy bc I can't give all the moral support I want to and also keep up with everything, and I have this picture in my house of everyone else doing better than me.
What do you do if you are a mom with kids still at home and how do you feel if you are the daughter? I should make it clear I WANT my kids there and I do still think it's more helpful than their being on their own- I do their laundry and make dinner and have food in the house so they don't need shopping and hold baby sometimes and offer a lot of encouragement, but it isn't like a hotel stay with everything perfect. Often I can't be home for lunch to prepare it and I need to spend time on household activities even though I have some cleaning help. I have teens with things they need help with and support for as well.
do you also feel guilty and not enough a lot? I envision treating them like a Kimpateoin home but in real life I still have teenagers that need me and work that I can't afford to miss for days on end and elderly parents with needs.
Also since daughters are breastfeeding I can't really just whisk baby away for hours or for half the night. And I can't anyway stay up all night and not function bc I need to be awake for work and my other kids. My daughters are still very tired even with me helping a lot.
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Itsallfromhim
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Fri, Nov 10 2023, 12:36 am
The emotional support is huge. You’re doing the best you can. Dinner + laundry is huge.
They have a choice if they feel it’s not ‘up to standards’ but as long as there’s a quiet room away from the chaos and support I think it’s perfect
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coloredleaves
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Fri, Nov 10 2023, 12:42 am
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Thank you. That is reassuring. They don't complain by any means. At all. But I am always feeling like it's not enough. I have grand dreams and then real life takes over.
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ap
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Fri, Nov 10 2023, 2:26 am
You sound amazing!
Can the teens also help?
Holding the baby or helping you too?
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Fri, Nov 10 2023, 2:45 am
| coloredleaves wrote: | How much are you able to help with your daughters after they have a baby? If they stay at your house how do you balance other kids needs and working. I want to be able to do everything, but between working - even taking off soem hours- and carpools and homework for other kids I find I am helpful but not able to treat them like a princess and do all the things I want for them. I still think it's very helpful but it isn't the dream picture I imagined of being able to serve three meals and have everything nice. The house is still flying with so many things going on. It's messy bc I can't give all the moral support I want to and also keep up with everything, and I have this picture in my house of everyone else doing better than me.
What do you do if you are a mom with kids still at home and how do you feel if you are the daughter? I should make it clear I WANT my kids there and I do still think it's more helpful than their being on their own- I do their laundry and make dinner and have food in the house so they don't need shopping and hold baby sometimes and offer a lot of encouragement, but it isn't like a hotel stay with everything perfect. Often I can't be home for lunch to prepare it and I need to spend time on household activities even though I have some cleaning help. I have teens with things they need help with and support for as well.
do you also feel guilty and not enough a lot? I envision treating them like a Kimpateoin home but in real life I still have teenagers that need me and work that I can't afford to miss for days on end and elderly parents with needs.
Also since daughters are breastfeeding I can't really just whisk baby away for hours or for half the night. And I can't anyway stay up all night and not function bc I need to be awake for work and my other kids. My daughters are still very tired even with me helping a lot. |
I imagine your dd, the kimpturin knows this and will deal. If its stressful for her, she will leave. Her decision to come, her decision to leave. It isnt like you pressured her into coming.
It sounds like you got a lot going on, cant imagine how you are coping...hope you find time for yourself too...(and dh)....
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