Zanvel Zevulun's Chanukah PTSD

top mom ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 3:24 pm

So my dear Zanvy has a yearly, severe bout of trauma around Chanukah time.(See my previous post of his Pesach issues)
It basically started when he was 6, and saved one last chocolate custard donut for himself, which his sister ate unknowingly.
The sight of doughnuts makes him all tense and jittery. His holy and wise therapist told me that the only cure is 8 different, homemade flavors of doughnut every night of Chanukah.
Total: a measly 64 flavors Can't Believe It

He also has to take it extremely easy starting from Rosh Chodesh Kislev.
This year it's slightly challenging, since I'm on bed rest with triplets, and the quads all have the flu, but Hashem will surely give me the koach to be the ultimate Eishes Chayil Smile

So, my fellow neshei Chayil, any flavor ideas?
And, share some inspiring stuff you're doing for your beloved this Chanukah.

Cookiegirl

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 3:30 pm

Maybe you should consult Bertie Bott of Every Flavor Bean fame...I hear he has some doozies...I am sure Zanvel Zevulun would appreciate your creativity in bringing him tasting samples of many things in the briah that he never considered might be edible...perhaps he will be able to create new brachos! What a Chanuka gift!

amother

Oak

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 3:47 pm

Diet chanuka. Just because your on a diet doesn’t mean anything should be skipped.

Latkes:
Fat free cottage cheeses
Beets
Zucchini
Parsnip
Cauliflower rice
Turnip
Egg white
Broccoli
Tuna fish

Baked donuts:
Pumpkin gluten free
Banana oat
Apple whole wheat
Zucchini carrot
Blueberry rye
But spelt

flowerpower

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 5:09 pm

If you buy ready made filling then it’s posul and you have to burn it with the challah dough. Just a warning

Here are some ideas. I even made it in alphabetical order so you’ll have an easier time-

Apple(peeled cooked and mashed)
Banana ( yum)
Cookie dough
Donut flavor( basically oily dough)
Everything but the kitchen sink (my most fun flavor)
Fake donuts (baked)
Giant donut( whole family shares it)
Hearty donut( vegetable soup mixture)
Invisable donut ( don’t even bother looking for it)
Junk donut ( whatever is in your candy jar)
Kinky donut ( basically red stuff on it)
Long donut (fill one of your challahs with custard)
Mint donut ( thankfully the littles won’t fight over it)
Naughty donut (this one has the most calories of all)
Open donut ( basically the bottom part - top goes to the kid that forgets to take a snack to school)
Pastry donut ( bake a round piece of flakey dough and powder with confection sugar)
Quiet donut ( don’t have much to say to this one)
Ring donut ( save the center for a different night)
Stackable donuts ( pile em all until they topple over and everyone grabs one)
Tricky donut( make it look gross so no one touches it but then eat it when they’re in bed)
Unforgetable donut( here is where cayenne pepper enters the donut area)
Vegan donut ( basically from kale flour)
Water donuts( water basically- save fr the last night)
Xtra special ( serve for Friday night next to the latkes)
Yellow donuts (make sure you have yellow food coloring at home)
Zebra donuts ( you can find a tuturial on youtube for tips)

If you need more just give a hollar!

keym

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 7:11 pm

I just need to give you some Chizzuk.
Push yourself even though it's physically not possible.
Chas Veshalom if you buy this year's doughnuts from nebbach a bakery instead of making them all by hand, then your Zaddik ZZZ will not be able to have the zchus to be one of the Chashmonaim who find the hidden oil.
The shame it would bring on your house. You would not be able to move past that, even if you were to become pregnant with another set of quads WHILE on bedrest with your current triplets.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 7:20 pm

I don’t get what the big deal is. Your on bed rest anyway so it’s not like you have too many other things to do.
You can sit while you do those donuts, and it’s a tremendous schus for your unborn babies.
I think you should make another three batches every night as a schus for the babies. Just my opinions ( please no bashing)

amother

Salmon ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 8:02 pm

I'm shocked that nobody mentioned the obvious.

I mean, this is for a tzaddik like Zanvil, not for a regular average guy. Those people could get away with different colored sprinkles, or different fillings, but this is ZANVIL!

I think you need to do different themes for each night.

Here are some suggestions:

1) Shivas Haminim - whole wheat donuts with carob chips, barley coconut donuts, raisin craisin donuts, fig newton donuts, pomegranate donuts, olive oil chocolate donuts, and date silan donuts. For the last night, make a jumbo donut with date and fig chunks, sprinkled with pomegranate arils.

2) Birchos Hanehenin - Hamotzi-style (poppy seed donut), Mezonos (cookies n' cream donut), Ha'adama (banana), Ha'eitz (apple-filled), Hagafen (spiked donut), Shehakol (sugar-frosted), Besamim (spice cake donut), Zocher Habris (rainbow sprinkles)

3) Briyas Haolam - Day 1 (black & white donut), Day 2 (cloud donuts - angel food), Day 3 (flower-decorated), Day 4 (star-studded using silver dragees), Day 5 (jellyfish filled), Day 6 (zebra-striped), Day 7 (babka donut, because babka is a Shabbos minhag), and then for the final one you will make it decorated like the world (don't skip any countries al pi kabbalah), and filled with homemade multicolored custard.

I'm sure that if you run out of ideas, you can ask Zanvil for some suggestions. It should take him less than the shiur of time for Bittul Torah, so you don't have to feel bad.

Jewishfoodie ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 8:18 pm

(only triplets? Get out a bed and stop being lazy!) Your poor husband! How did your boss let you off for bed rest?! We live in such a lazy world.. Go back to work, when you get home, google the word "flavors". Then make 2 donuts to represent each one. By now you should be well versed in molecular gastronomy and progressive cuisine... I mean.. How long are you married? At least 2 years...

When they cool, taste one of each. Narrow down first to top 1000, then further narrow down to top 100. Then work on your plating skills, (tweezers for microgreens, edible flowers and the like,) and when you've plated those final 100, take a shower, get dressed in your best outfit, nicest wig, make sure you look super, for zanvil of course, and present each one with a 4 line poem about that flavor.

Don't cheat with..
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I baked these donuts,
Because I'm a good Jew.

Because that right there is grounds for divorce.

And work some choreography into each one. You know, wiggle a bit... I shouldn't have to teach you this. It's rudimentary stuff...

Come on, girl.. Get it together! Everyone does this! Banging head

(poor zanvi)

Last edited by Jewishfoodie on Thu, Dec 19 2019, 8:32 pm; edited 2 times in total

pizza4

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 8:19 pm

That pesach post was awesome.

I'm actually an eishes chayil too. (Blushing)
I'm gifting my dear devout Duvid berish a brand new menorah for each night of chanukah. It's only right, for such a special spouse.
Each menorah will satisfy a different opinion of how a menorah should look.

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 8:34 pm

top mom wrote:

Jewish foodie, thanks for the awesome advice. The only slight problem would be the wiggling. Remember? Pregnant with triplets?
Not so graceful (understatement Wink

)
But I guess I'll practice in front of the mirror while batch# 53 is frying.

Sorry. No excuse! It's not sextuplets so stop kvetching. BTW.. I have NEVER seen a skinny belly dancer. So.. That's a direction too...

(the only thing this generation knows how to make is excuses. It's ridiculous!)

amother

Apricot

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 8:45 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Why am I getting the feeling that you're corrupting Zanvel Zevulun's wife? Confused

↑ Jewishfoodie ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:10 pm

top mom wrote:

Slightly off topic, but do you think I can downgrade to 3 inch heels around the house, or do I need to wait to be in my ninth for those. No bashing please, my knees are in the tiniest bit of agony.

I mean, if your goal is to get zanvi to look elsewhere for entertainment then go with the 3 inch heels. But memonefshoch, (ask your husband) you should always be in 5 to 6 inches. No matter what your "condition". And yes! I AM an unlicensed shalom bayis life coach! I'm not trying to come across as a huge baal gaivah (1-800-yourproblemismymoney) and I'm not sure why you outed me to everyone but the bigger issue here is, why are you starting NOW? I was done with chanukah by Tu B'shvat. As was every single other mother. Except you.

amother

↑ Salmon ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:12 pm

top mom wrote:

Slightly off topic, but do you think I can downgrade to 3 inch heels around the house, or do I need to wait to be in my ninth for those. No bashing please, my knees are in the tiniest bit of agony.

I'm going to try to say this very gently.

You're on bedrest. That means for the MAJORITY of the day you are wearing no heels at all, and Zanvil has to gaze at a lumpy bed.

Do you really think it's too much to ask you to dress up for him when you DO get out of bed? Makeup, a nice swing dress (to look good with the belly), and high heels?

I know you really want to be an Eishes Chayil, but your Yetzer Hara seems to be trying to corrupt you. If you have been watching youtube videos while you are in bed, you might want to stop now and go back to saying Tehillim. Then you won't have such Machshavos Zaros.