Moms of same gender twins, were/are they in the same class?

amother

OP ↓

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 9:00 pm

My (non identical) twins are soon ready to start school. I now have the choice to send them to the school of my preference, but they only have one class per age, or I can apply to a different school, but not my first choice, but they have more than one class per age, so I can split them.
I am consciously trying to treat them as two individuals, and not just as 1 set of twins.
Were your twins in the same class? Different classes?
What was your experience?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 9:06 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

Mine are in the same class.

I would ask yours what they want. Don't split them up if they want to be together.

At 3 years old? Will they know what they want?
And who says that what they want will be good for them?

amother

↑ Seashell ↓

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 9:11 pm

At three I wouldn't dream of separating them. I thought you meant 5 or 6.

Either way, why not start them together? If you see it's becoming a problem, switch schools then.

Do you have reason to believe that they are feeling lumped together? Or are you just afraid that it MIGHT happen?

Abler point: Are either of them shy? I would not split up two kids that rely on each other.

amother

↑ OP

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 9:17 pm

How do you see the signs before it is too late? I think it's good for them to be together now, but what happens once they start learning? What if one is a higher achiever than the other? What if one is much better socially than the other? And how ubsettling is it to split them up and change schools at a later stage?
I'd like to hear what other people's experiences were. The good, the bad, everything

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 9:25 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

Abler point: Are either of them shy? I would not split up two kids that rely on each other.

I'm not a parent of twins so can't talk from that prespective but I would think that would be a reason to separate them - so they learn to handle things on their own - after all they wont always be together.

amother

Pumpkin

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 9:54 pm

Mine are together, out of lack of options, but so far I think it's good for them. Both shy, they are best friends and they rely on each other. The teachers make sure all the kids play together, and over time my kids have gotten to the point where they can hold their own, and manage without each other ( say one is sick). But they are still very close. At this point, even if I did have another option - I wouldn't seperate. I know another set of twins - also together out of lack of options who are miserable - constant lumping together and comparisons even though they are so different. In a case like that I feel like they would thrive separately - and they know it. They both want to be in different classes and have different friends..
My twins are young, I don't really have experience in this, but I would think if and when the time comes to seperate them, they will be happy to go along. I also think that if they have a strong supportive home environment where they are each valued for their individuality, it won't be so harmful when outsiders lump them together....
Just my mussings on the matter... I'll be following the thread, as I am curious what other more experienced mothers think.

amother

↑ Seashell

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:00 pm

Like I said, mine are together.

At first I was a bit worried that they would constantly be compared - one is more vivacious, one more gentle and shy. But they both have loads of friends, and I see the teachers are careful to view them as individuals. I am very happy that they are together. They have each other's back if necessary, but they are still each their own person.

I imagine it would be harder if they were identical, but mine are most certainly not!

amother

Burgundy

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:10 pm

My sister and daughter were on the same class for two years. They both had their own friends but they did rely a lot on each others. They were sometimes treated like one (the aunt and niece) but they liked it.

The problem was when one started bossing the other, you can't be friends with this one, you can't play with that toy... and they started fighting a lot.

This year we split them up. (Still in pre school) we're waiting to see how they're going to like it.

amother

Copper

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 10:35 pm

I am speaking of experience - am a twin with a girl, please split them up!!!!!
B'H we were split most of the years, but were together towards the later years and in seminary... - caused unnecessary pressures to both of us...
Let them become their own individual ...

amother

Crimson

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 11:07 pm

My twin brothers were split until 2 nd grade and then together until 12 th.
I think they did good both ways
They are identical and most teachers couldn’t tell them apart, they even gave same exact answers in the test even when sitting far from each other 🙂.
They where always best friends and helped each other .
Anon because I told this to ppl irl

Teomima

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 11:13 pm

My girls were together until first grade. I didn't even consider splitting them up earlier. Everyone kept telling me it's not good for twins to be together and I think that's a load of baloney. But when it came to first grade, I didn't want A- them to compare themselves academically nor B- the teacher to compare them. So for example if they were in the same class, and they had a test, they'd have both had the same test and one would end up feeling worse about herself when she got the lower score, even if it were a great score. Not an issue in separate classes. As for the teachers, unfortunately you can trust teachers to not compare siblings, and it's even worse with twins.

amother

Taupe

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 11:39 pm

Being that im a twin I say split them.
I was together with my twin Will about 5th grade we were then split till we graduated high school. It was the best thing my mom didn’t want us to be dependent on each other and make friends with other kids too. It was the best decision she made for us we each group up as our own person but we still are extremely close.

MyKidsRQte

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 11:44 pm

I have 2 sets of non identical, same gender twins. I keep them separated for cheder/school & keep them together for daycamp. I feel like there is less competition that way. They have different personalities, and different types of smarts. One(of each set) is generally more competitive than the other. This way, they each have different set of friends

amother

Natural

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 12:15 am

Hi I have a set of identical girls. Their school highly suggests separating twins unless the parents prefer not to. Best thing ever- they are in 3rd grade now and life is so competitive as it is I don't see how them being together would make things better-just worse!

Iymnok

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:41 am

In my daughter's class last year there were 3 sets of twins. (3yo). This year one set is separated, one together and one set stayed back because they are so young. By 5yo most twins are separated all in 1st grade. I don’t know about the boys since we have two cheders here each with one class per grade.

amother

Azure

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 11:28 am

Mom of non-identical twin girls here. I split my girls up as soon as I was able to - at age 3. Best thing I ever did. One of my girls (twin a) was always slightly more advanced and outgoing than her sister (twin b) was. That year in nursery was a major turning point. She (twin b) came out of her shell in a big way - was able to assert herself and become her own person without forever being in her sister’s shadow. At this point (they’re now 8) twin b is doing as well as her sister in every way - perhaps even more outgoing and confident. I credit splitting them up for much of that. My advice: split them up if you can!