Im pregnant with twins and...

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 1:22 pm

... freaking out! I'm 24 weeks but suddenly its hitting me. I know it's a blessing BH, but my mind is racing. How will I manage? Do I have enough space in my house? Astronomical cost of babysitting when I go back to work? I need a new car since I'm going from 2 kids to 4 bh? Also I'm 5 feet tall- is it possible to not get huge at my height? I only started showing about three weeks ago but got big fast in the last 3 weeks.
My work has been sending me to HR to discuss FMLA due to coming to work late (awful morning sickness!!) and missing other times during the day for frequent doctors appointments. They don't know my specific situation but they do know I'm pregnant. Legally I know they can't fire me since I got my FMLA papers signed but I still worry.
Anyone else have been-there-done-that and have some words of chizzuk for me?!?

amother

Orchid ↓

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 1:31 pm

BTDT... bshaah tovah! It will all work out in the end!
To answer your questions;
You will manage because there is no other choice... some people get help (family, or hired) others (like moi) don't, but either way, try to keep the tension level low and everything eventually gets done (even if Baby B has to cry while you're diapering Baby A... just tune it out!)
Tiny babies don't really take up space, so you have time to think about it. My babies shared a porta-crib in my room in the beginning, and I cleared a shelf or two in my closet for their stuff.
Yes! Babysitting is very expensive! (Some babysitters will give a discount if you have twins. But only if you ask!)
Yes, we got a new car when our twins were born as well.
I got huge... but I got huge by my previous pregnancy as well, so I don't know what your situation will be like. (And wow! not showing till 21 weeks? I was showing at 14!)
Don't know about the work related issues... sorry. I do know that worrying doesn't help though.
Advice that I got from my father: "Does Hashem know that you're having twins? Does Hashem know about ... problem? Did He take care of you till now? He'll continue to take care of you!"

Sof Davar... Twins are adorable! There is nothing like it in the world! Sometimes I look at my family and I'm just so overwhelmed with gratitude... all the little details will work out iy"H. Bshaah Tova and Good luck!

amother

Sienna

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 1:45 pm

BTDT and wish to echo exactly what Orchid said so eloquently and expressed perfectly. I think twins demand more emuna than a regular pregnancy, but just remember that despite all the extra monitoring etc you're BH healthy! Twins aren't a sickness and it's as natural as any other pregnancy.

If it makes you feel better, I found my first child much more demanding than the twins. After 2 kids, you already have a lot more experience in childcare. I found it helps to just do everyone in a row. Bathe, diaper, feed one after another. And what Orchid said about keeping cool is key. They'll cry. Indeed, they'll cry together. As one woman announced to me in a store "it's like a terrible symphony!!" But you keep a cool head! It's their way of communicating with you, and they can work on their patience as they wait for you to attend to them in your own time.

Hugs. They'll give you so much nachas. I looked at my twins today rolling around on the floor, screeching with happiness and trying to shove each others hands and feet in their mouths and it filled my heart with so much joy!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 4:35 pm

I'm the OP Thanks so much for taking the time to respond with your replies- it really helped to read from woman that have BTDT. I probably should have mentioned this in my first post, but I have the added weight on my shoulders that my husband isn't really all that happy/excited. He has a worried personality in general and it's really hard for me that he is avoiding discussing the future and whenever it does come up, all he does he tell me "I dont know how we're going to do this", "how will you be able to go back to work" (referring to me not making much after paying for babysitting), "our house isn't big enough", "we cant afford it" etc. He just told me last night if it was only one he would be much more excited Sad

Anyway thanks so much for the replies, hoping for some more!
Also, anything to help with the lower back pain I get from sitting at a desk for so many hours? When I get up at the end of the day I can barely walk!

TwinsMommy

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 4:57 pm

I always fed and diapered and bathed my twins at the same time so it was easier than my friends who have a toddler and then a baby since those schedules never combine well. I TRIED to nap them at the same time but one twin needed a lot more sleep than the other so one was at 3 naps a day while one was at 2 and then one was at 2 naps a day while one was at 1 and finally one gave up a nap while the other still needed a nap all the way until--- gosh--- maybe 4 and a half or so! So the most frustrating thing was not being able to go out more than once a day because just to get out once a day meant scheduling it around nap schedules and ALWAYS feeding while out so bringing bottles and diapers and burp cloths etc.

I worked at home and scheduled my work tasks for naptimes or after bedtime or when I had a sitter (I had about 8-10 hours of babysitting help a week).

We're poor--- $90 a week of special high calorie formula and not qualifying for WIC or medicaid or anything kind of poor---- and we made it through. You will too! Granted 12 years later we may still be paying off the neosure if I could remember which credit card bought it! lol

I was on bedrest for the last 15 weeks of pregnancy but in your situation to avoid the lower back pain, take lots of stretching and walking breaks!

amother

Gray

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 9:15 pm

My twins are almost a year. Totally worth all the aches and pains of pregnancy Smile

I feel like twins are a double bracha. I really love having twins!! Regarding back pain: My dr suggested that I sit on a round blow up type of thing to take pressure of my lower back/tail bone. I was also working on a computer for most of my pregnancy.

amother

Burgundy ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 9:40 pm

Ahhhh yum! I have a BFF with twins and a very close relative with triplets and even though it was super hard the first year for both after a year they each Bh hit a stride (they’re now big toddlers). I know a lot because I am baby crazy and didn’t yet have my own so I was over often helping. Bath time a few times a week etc.

Where do u live? Reach out to get chessed help etc.

Your husband is an anxious type and we all have our tendencies but he really needs to talk that out with someone other than you. This is a huge Bracha and a big challenge- u didn’t choose it you were chosen. If u were deciding about bc than his needs would have to be considered but now that this is the amazing stressful reality he needs to snap out of it... you can keep repeating I know there’s hard parts and we will plan as much as we can but let’s focus on davening everyone should be healthy and be grateful for that.

My friend with twins carried almost the same as with her single, delivered at 36 weeks and delivery was much easier.... no telling how big you’ll get..

Iyh you should feel good and have lots of koach for this adventure!

crl

Wed, Jul 10 2019, 10:59 pm

I had twins as my first kids; pregnancy was hard physically but delivery was actually not that bad, not traumatic and uneventful. Both my husband and I got up to feed the kids (I’d pump for the next session while we fed) and got them on the same feeding schedule. I have a full time babysitter and went back to work after 6 weeks. My kids are now almost 2!

I found chiropractic support very helpful for my inflamed IT band during pregnancy. Where are you located? I have a lot of products and tricks that worked for us.

The unknown is scary. Definitely didn’t hit me that it’s TWO BABIES until they’re born. It’s crazy but I wouldn’t change anything. It’s so wonderful, and they grow up with a built in buddy!

amother

Red ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 1:28 pm

Hi I feel like I am writing your post! I am also expecting twins and am at 24 weeks. I am soo nervous about how I am going to manage after. I have three other kids, my oldest is 5. Where do you live OP? Do you know if there are any organizations in your area?

Also, for all those who have BTDT, I am having pain in my thighs, crotch. Its like a pressure that doesn't go away. Did anyone else have that? I can't move my legs as well because of it. Its crazy.

Anyway, OP, can should be in touch! We are literally at the same stage! Smile

amother

↑ Silver

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 3:18 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Let us know where you are located also. There are local resources for moms of twins.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 6:42 pm

Mazel tov!! I don’t have twins, but I have always loved twins. To me anyone who has twins won the jackpot! May your pregnancy& labor be easy and uneventful, and may Hahem give you everything you need to raise them!!

Also, to the mom who said she’s having terrible pain by her legs. I had that also (with one kid)
I literally could not walk. I tried researching it and seems like it’s prostaglandins being released. Ibuprofen/Motrin help with that.

Besuros tovos!

geemum

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 7:08 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Also, for all those who have BTDT, I am having pain in my thighs, crotch. Its like a pressure that doesn't go away. Did anyone else have that? I can't move my legs as well because of it. Its crazy.

Could this be vulval varicose veins? They were recently discussed on a thread.
Ibuprofen is not recommended in pregnancy.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 7:19 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

I have 2 sets of twins. The beginning is very hard. If people offer help, don't be shy. Accept all help. It takes time getting used to doing everything double. But as they start interacting with each other-it's amazing to watch.

There is something to the the double trouble, triple the nachas!!

I had the same type of pain, by my first twin pregnancy. According to the doctor, it was the pressure from the babies Sad

amother

↑ Orchid

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 7:25 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Please let me know about anything. I am in Lakewood.

I don't have any info about help in Lakewood, but do live in Lakewood and I'm not nursing my twins anymore and would love to give my twin nursing pillow to a new mother of twins who will bf.
It's a great pillow (and expensive) so let me know if you're interested.

amother

Aqua ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 9:39 pm

Wow!!!!!! can't believe so many people are expecting twins!!!!
Am 14 weeks k'h and expecting twins b'h...
Very mixed emotions, but excited to be chosen by Hashem and feel like he trusts me to be a good mother I'h...
Still, quite nervous about working after they are born and managing the house...
I am working from home ...
That should make it easier I'h..., still, will I have time after they are born to put in any hours????
Happy for you that you are already at 24 weeks, I feel like my weeks are going soooo slow...
Would love to be there already I'jh...
Please everyone, keep on sharing!
Thanks,

losingweight ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 11:32 pm

Op I don't have twins experience, but maybe it makes sense for you to take a 6 month break after the babies are born for you to take care of them. If there isn't much money left over after babysitting charges, it may not be worth it. Your older kids will be sharing your attention with 2 little babies and being home all day may make you a more patient mother.

amother

Cerise ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2019, 11:40 pm

losingweight wrote:

Just pointing out that going to work might actually be what makes her a more patient mother, by giving her a break from the endless needs of two infants. Some people find it incredibly draining to do it 24/7.

amother

Navy ↓

Fri, Jul 12 2019, 12:25 am

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

Also, just discovered today that I'm expecting twins IyH. I'm at 22 wks, 4 days. I haven't even told my husband yet because I know he will be so excited and over the moon, and I want to tell him in a cute way. I just wanted to chime in and say that Ibuprofen is actually fine to take during the first two trimesters...