accidents in school

shlumzmum ↓

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 12:26 pm

my 3 year old son is toilet trained since the age of 2 and 4 months. Even at night he sleeps with no pamper and wakes up dry. lately he started coming home from cheider wet every day and sometimes even makes accidents. I spoke to his teacher (man) about it and he is constantly reminding him to go to the bathroom but it's still happening.
can anyone give me advice what I should do?

chen

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 1:48 pm

First of all, send him to school with a change of clothes every day. I'm not joking--in my children's school, this was SOP. Every parent had to send in a change of clothes which was kept in the kid's cubby for just this purpose. No point letting him be dirty and uncomfortable in addition to being embarrassed.

Your son may be bashful about going to the bathroom in school, or may not using like the bathroom there for some reason. (Too big, too high, too smelly, whatever.) Try to find out if it's any of these. Is he afraid to use the school bathroom? Why? What can you do about it? For example, if he's afraid to go alone, ask the rebbe if it's possible for someone to escort him.

It may also be a temporary regression, which is common among children undergoing stress or a transition of some sort. Did he just start going to cheder now for the first time? It may take him a while to get used to it. He may want to go back to being a baby, and this is how he's showing it.

Continue to praise him for his nighttime dryness and also reward him in some way on the days when he doesn't have an "oops" in school. lavish a little extra moochie-koochie on him during this transitional period, too. Don't treat him like a baby, but show him that being a big boy does not mean that he forfeits any closeness to you.

Also find out what the rebbe means when he says he reminds your son "constantly". His perception of "constantly" may not match yours, or your son's.

↑ shlumzmum

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 2:10 pm

thanks for your advice. sounds really helpful. I do send change of clothes and the rebbe changes him. this morning I decided to go to cheider and take a look at the toilets. he went right away to the lower one. standing is not a problem,but he is afraid to sit down by himself (afraid that he will fall in)
he started cheider 3 weeks before the summer and in the summer they kept on having diferent rebbes, makes sense that this is also a reason for the accidents
hope it will change soon! thanks again

yersp

Tue, Aug 21 2007, 3:18 pm

I have (B"H had!) a similar problem with my daughter. She would go to day camp dry and come home dry, the problem was that from when she was home until she went to sleep she would have accidents one after another without even caring. She did the same thing when she started playgroup last year in september, after the first few weeks it straighted out B"H, and now she did the same thing but B"H after about 3 weeks she stopped. I'm guessing it was her being nervous with the bus and all the changes. I hope she doesnt do the same thing when she starts school before Rosh Hashana.
I sort of retrained her from when she came home until she went to sleep. Wasnt easy but B"H we made excellent progress!
Good Luck to you!

shopaholic

Wed, Aug 22 2007, 10:18 am

I had the same with DD. I tried everything & eventually took her to a urologist. She now takes Detrol LA for an inactive bladder. If she doesn't take her medicine, she keeps running every 1/2 hour to the bathroom, or just has accidents. When she goes to the bathroom, she empties her bladder each time, she just has to go too often & doesn't always make it.