Important notice | Imamother

downsyndrome

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 11:21 am

Up here in the bungalow colony an interesting concept of teens at risk was discussed. I don't think it is THE reason for teens going off the derech, but it certainly doesn't help.
We have a woman here in the country, whose sister is involved with lots of boys who have strayed. She says that a very large percentage of them are the youngest child in large families with many married older siblings and that the married kids take over the lives of the parents, leaving very little parenting energy for the kids still at home and these young teenagers fall through the cracks.
I took it into my head cuz I also started to see a pattern in my home where my married daughter comes home from teaching, picks up her baby from the babysitter and plops into my home to recuperate from her day's work. While she is there with her baby, talking up a storm and trying to get bubby (me) to 'ooh and ah-h-h' over her darling little one, my own 8-year old son comes home from cheder with a day's worth of talking, but he is silenced by an older sibling and a cute little einikel.
Same thing with the Shabbos and Yom Tov table. When we have the couple over then it is adult conversation. When it's only us with our at-home kids, the conversation is all about them.
When I heard of this concept being discussed here, I made some very, very strong resolutions for the coming year IY"H. I hope to implement them and for all my kids to understand and be happy about it.

greenfire

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 2:21 pm

look there is always someone out there trying to find any reason for someone to stray ... oldest ... youngest ... middle child syndrome ... they just do ... and you do the best you can ... it doesn't matter why ... but what can one do ... always pay attention to all the people in your life ... it's too late when we die ...

southernbubby

Mon, Aug 20 2007, 5:50 pm

I think that healthy children often go on the "back burner" when sick or handicapped children are born. In this case, they are not the youngest but are still pushed aside.
Sometimes the youngest child in the family is not only pushed aside by kids in shidduchim but also because the parents are not as young, energetic and enthusiastic. A friend who had her youngest when she was 43 said that she sent her child to the park with young mothers who still had the strength to push swings!

Motek

Fri, Aug 24 2007, 11:00 am

southernbubby wrote:

A friend who had her youngest when she was 43 said that she sent her child to the park with young mothers who still had the strength to push swings!

sorry to hear that she's an old lady at 43

feel bad for her and her husband and kids, what will be she like in ten years, twenty years ... Confused