Day care | Imamother

raizy ↓

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 8:09 pm

I have 2 kids who are in my day care and are giving me a hard time . one is emothionlly need alot of help yet I dont get paid to help such a kid . is it fair to the other 4 kids in my day care to keep such a kid? he hits . lyes down on other kids. does other emothinall unhealty things.my hubby obverved him and claims such a kid need speical help .

I have very young kids. so I cant have a 19 month old baby lying down on anybody.
the other kid is also diffucult . which I contruibute to her age she is 26 months she should really be in a older day care. but the mother like the convience of the next door.

what should I do???

this is having a huge toll on my nerves . on one hand I dont want to be the bad one . yet I feel that it is too much for me to handle such kids.

Tefila

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 8:21 pm

Raizy you have to tell the mothers your child is not for my daycare! I mean say it more diplomatically ofcourse.
B/c if theyr'e getting on your nerves aswell as on other kids it's not a good situation you must deal w/h it asap!

ForeverYoung ↓
Guest

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 8:28 pm

with the agressive kid - if I was the mother, I would appreciate your input, get professional help & request that u help me with the situation, but would nderstand if u said no.

however! many mothers are blind to problems (denial); know about it & don't want to deal with it b/c a. no time b. it's her fault, and she doesn't want it to become known.

the rest was summed up very nicely by Freilich.

↑ raizy ↓

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 8:42 pm

yes the mother is denail . she is also a bit off so how to tell this?

second problem kid the mother is a bit weird and she is using me. I just had her kid for a week and it was a living nightmare. she was not the age of anybody else and she kevtched and said no to everything I did. also every time I took her out she refused to come back in even after a few hrs.the way she screamed u would think that I was murdering her.
I was so emmbarssed. embarrassed

so in the summer when the weather is nicer. I need this 2 yrs old to walk and behave herselve when we are finished the outing. otherwise I will never be able to leave the house. I only have a double carriage so I need the older kids to be able to walk.

↑ raizy ↓

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 8:46 pm

thanks for your help . now take a crash course in diplomcy.

the second mother thinks she owns me . the way she talks to me the way she acts to me. the look I get. it is all strated to bug me.

and what is wrong in telling her that tom there will be only half a day.???it is tanis esther and all my kids will be home bye noon

I am also human and I also need time to prepare??

roza

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 9:08 pm

did you give them advance notice or calendar? then you need to remind the parent a few days before that you have half day according to the calendar.

you can tell the mother of the difficult child that you will give a week trial and if nothing changes, then you will have to remove the child from your daycare.

try to involve the active child with different activities. introduce new activities.

↑ ForeverYoung
Guest

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 9:12 pm

so sorry to hear that!!

there is only 1 way to deal with such people - a very cold shoulder.

It is very hard for full time working mothers when day care takes 1/2 day off for a Jewish holiday, but it is a part of life.

Don't let them walk over you.

And when you need to dissmiss a child, especially if a mother is in denial, make it like the kid is too good/ advanced to be with you.

Oh, he's bored here, needs more friends of his age, more stimulation that I cannot provide b/c I have younger kids, etc

nomi ↓

Wed, Mar 23 2005, 9:57 pm

That's what I was thinking too, to explain to the mother that her child is having a hard time (remember that he's also suffering), and that you do not have the appropriate tools or resources to help him.
And if the mothers don't accept that they will need to make other arrangemtns for child care, remain firm in your conviction and don't allow yourself to give in to any guilt trips!
Just keep telling them, I've enjoyed so and so, AND (don't use but!!!) feel this arrangemnt is not working any more.
Don't go into nitty gritties; because then you may get sucked into being manipulated into doing something you don't want to do.
Just stay pleasant and calm throughout.
Hatzlacha!

shayna

Thu, Mar 24 2005, 11:38 am

I have worked in a daycare that was in a school and one that was not, the main reason I liked the school better was the support system of the director, if I ever had a desicion likes yours I had back up support.
I feel for you and your in a tough situation. Have you asked the mother if she knows why the child is acting this way, maybe upset being left in daycare, or older siblings do the same to him.

I know in montreal, I don't think we can send a child out during the year over screamining, but beating up other children and making them cry thats another story. Maybe ask the mother to hire a shadow ( if she can afford it.)
I did not read all poosts, but do you have a helper?
Good Luck

Remember a parents first reaction is to defend. How many kids are in your daycare? and are you certified cause you don't want these women to start trouble for you. And are they frum b/c they can be on this site and read all this, maybe switch to amother if its not to late.

IndyMom

Thu, Mar 24 2005, 11:45 am

Mother's should always have back up plans if they have a full schedule. I send my kids out when I have school - but I also make sure that I have 2 or 3 people that I can call in case there is a cancelation. Otherwise I tell my husband he is staying home becuase I can't miss class.

↑ raizy

Sat, Mar 26 2005, 10:48 pm

shana you know who I am . I live in montreal and I can get rid of anyone I want whenever I want. I have to give 30 days notice though...

the child is going to go eventally to yaldie. so u know it need more help then I can give.

the other child is 2 yrs old. I realized one thing that when the more difficult child is there this child acts out and when he isnt there she is a angel. so I would rather get rid of the "yaldie" child

I am certified and I do have a huge waiting list of pple who want my serivices but I am a chicken to hurt other pple feeling.