How much $ is normal for kallah housewares?

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 8:48 am

amother Myrtle wrote:

Coming up on 10 years. My expensive splurge linen set (complete for 2 full beds) was $600. The other set was $350. I have 1 white sheet from Target for $10. The linen lasted me 7-8 years and I replaced it when we changed mattress sizes.

I had a registry but I also bought affordable classic companies like corelle and pyrex.

China? Chargers? Yes she's crazy. It will sit in boxes in her tiny apartment then get shlepped to every place she moves to.

OP probably bought Corelle for vochen dishes and may have let her daughter splurge and buy a Noritake set for Shabbos. We don't know since she did not explain what she bought. It is definitely an extra and OP said that. But it might not be as BIG of a splurge as some people imagine when they hear china.

I bought Noritake for Pesach since we do not use plastic or paper goods on Pesach as a chumra and the set was on sale and I paid $300 for the entire thing which had 12 settings and included soup bowls. It is a splurge, but not the same as china that $100 a setting. I could have purchased a Corelle set, but chose this because it was Pesach.

amother

Eggshell

Yesterday at 8:52 am

amother Taupe wrote:

So do the math. $70 x 2 = $140.
Car to Homegoods and back = $80
Fitted Sheets = $25
Total = $245
And you have to get lucky enough that there is actually two of the same. I've looked in Homegoods for curtains and could not find enough to cover my window. They ended up before $50-$70 each. I had already spent money on the car, so I didn't want it to go to waste and I went to Joanne's, and I actually purchased fabric that was on sale so my total cost came out to around $35 which would have been $200-300 at Homegoods IF they even ended up having enough.
I have also purchased curtains at target, but it was $19.99 a pack so also not the best deal when you factor in the taxi money.

In the chasuna mall, a basic linen set runs around $300-500 and you know what you're getting and that there will be enough. At that point, $300 is a safer bet than the $245 above. Traveling around from one homegoods to another with a taxi can easily exceed the $300 of a set.

I really like to save money, but it's not so easy to save on linens.

I also have a set of linen I purchased from ikea and it came over to over $200 for the two twin beds.

I don't think most posters giving prices spent are factoring in transportation costs....
(You can order from a lot of places online, if that's a significant factor that will allow savings.)

LovesHashem

Yesterday at 8:55 am

Chayalle wrote:

Plenty of not-even-close-to-1000 for linen sets last that long. My linen lasted very nicely, but recently (after 25+ years) my tastes have changed and I've gotten some new linen (again for not $$$).

I actually think linen is something that's nice to update after a number of years, and it's a good place not to overspend for that reason. Get something nice, fresh, decent quality - yes. Over the top - not so worthwhile.

Yeah I get that. I think investing in comfortable good quality sheets is a great idea, and I update duvet covers every few years.

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 8:55 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

I don't think most posters giving prices spent are factoring in transportation costs....
(You can order from a lot of places online, if that's a significant factor that will allow savings.)

I know but the cost of transportation is really relevant here. Most people I know don't even have internet access. Even those few with internet access for work will not necessarily use it to buy items for their home or clothing.
Most people who said they purchased at ikea or homegoods probably either drive or have husbands who have the time to drive them there. If not, including the cost of a taxi is very important. For me, a taxi is $40 an hour. If I go to ikea from where I live, it's minimum $80 just for transportation. How can I not factor that in?

↑ Chayalle ↓

Yesterday at 8:55 am

amother Taupe wrote:

It most definitely did not cost me $80 to drive with DD to Homegoods (which, in Lakewood, is in the vicinity of Target and Walmart, so we did all these in one afternoon....)

lamplighter

Yesterday at 9:04 am

The way I see it there's 2 ways to go about this. Either you decide on a budget and then give her the freedom to spend on whatever she wants within that budget. Or you decide on a list of necessities and anything beyond that she can buy herself. Going with a kallah that has big ideas of her cutesy perfect ideal future home for the next 40 years and you with a let's try to not spend to much is a recipe for disaster.

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 9:06 am

Chayalle wrote:

It most definitely did not cost me $80 to drive with DD to Homegoods (which, in Lakewood, is in the vicinity of Target and Walmart, so we did all these in one afternoon....)

I understand. You said you drive. That's very different than someone who does not drive. It's not really even an option to send the car away because if you're purchasing large and heavy items like lamps and comforters, it is hard to drag them around from store to store if you don't have a taxi to place them in meanwhile. So for me, before I do something like this, I need to consider the cost of the car to and from and waiting at the destitation. And it's not like the cost is $10 or $15. It can easily exceed $200-$300

↑ Chayalle ↓

Yesterday at 9:09 am

amother Taupe wrote:

I hear. I can see how in Chassidish communities the practicality of shopping can be different due to transportation limitations. Thanks for enlightening me.

saralem

Yesterday at 9:41 am

I know that I spent way more on my first daughter than the rest. I just was too excited and thought it all was needed. Over the years, I realized what a young couple truly needs and spent less. With the first, I bought everything from furniture to spices to trash cans to mop and bucket! Spent $700 on who knows what just at Target-cleaning supplies, aluminum foil included! Also all my kids were registered and had a bridal shower and some still qualified for yad kallah type organizations. I put us in serious credit card debt.

esther990 ↓

Yesterday at 9:52 am

amother Taupe wrote:

One white, and two colored.
A basic set is $300-$500. This poster probably included pillows and the duvet cover there.
I have a bedspread. I think it is necessary. I sewed it myself to save money. I also sewed one colored linen set. $3.5k is not outrageous.
OP- if you want to find out what normal is, call up the chasuna mall near you and ask them how much the housewares package is. Then add 10% and that is probably average.

Tjmaxx bedding sets are $100-150 for set.

↑ esther990 ↓

Yesterday at 9:53 am

Chayalle wrote:

It most definitely did not cost me $80 to drive with DD to Homegoods (which, in Lakewood, is in the vicinity of Target and Walmart, so we did all these in one afternoon....)

You can order everything online.

↑ Chayalle

Yesterday at 9:56 am

esther990 wrote:

You can order everything online.

We ordered alot of things online. And some things arrived that were not what we thought they were, which then necessitated a return (and a drive to a drop box). For someone who doesn't drive, that's an additional cost. It might make senses for them to go somewhere where they can see what they are purchasing in the first place. It might also not be cost effective for them to go to TJMax or other such places where they won't find everything they need under one roof, and go to a Kallah Center and get more done in one place.

I think the conversation here illustrates that what works for one Kallah (and her mother) might not work for another.

I know for myself, I did a certain amount of in-person shopping and a certain amount online, it's what worked for us. Everyone's needs are different, there's no one-size-fits-all....

amother

↑ Taupe

Yesterday at 10:05 am

Chayalle wrote:

I think that is the most interesting part of this thread. I apologize if I came across argumentative earlier. I was just trying to explain, but I will try to do it in a nicer way next time. It's just so interesting. There are so many things that are different based on the community and the individual. It's like dor hafluga or mini pesach here because really everyone responding is well meaning just have different needs and experiences.

↑ esther990

Yesterday at 10:16 am

My point is if you do not have the funds, you have to compromise. A couple of trips to tjmaxx/target/home goods and whatever they do not have can wait. It is doubtful that she will need every type of peeler and candy dish in the first few weeks of her marriage. Once the wedding is over, you can go again to get whatever other things she is still missing.

dws1219

Yesterday at 11:52 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm marrying off my first daughter. I am keeping track of my expenses. With me trying to be careful, and a daughter with fine taste, I already reached close to 5k!!!
I know there were some extras, such as Shabbos China and cutlery, plus extra table setting pieces, like chargers and napkin rings. My daughter says that many kallahs get the above.
This amount includes as well, linens, towels, bedding, and household supplies.
Is this amount normal?

Bottom line is that you can see based on the posts here that it's not the norm. Most posts are against it and in favor of saving money which I am so proud. If you spoil your kids make sure you can support them after the wedding as well, otherwise, you are not doing them a favor. They get used to luxury then it becomes their standard and they don't have the money for it....

amother

Navyblue

Yesterday at 12:32 pm

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Im 45 and have been to 4 continents in my life. I have never seen that in any home I have ever been to.

I grew up with them even weekdays sometimes... It's just normal to me... but yes my first set was $1 each at Walmart. I've upgraded since BH

amother

Heather ↓

Yesterday at 12:38 pm

DD is a Kallah. I live in a community where the young couple registers and receives many gifts from her registery. I have also been buying as I see things on sale or which she wants or are interesting. B”H I can afford the little purchases I make frequently. That being said, yes, there are thousands of dollars worth of housewares taking up my living room.

scruffy

Yesterday at 1:36 pm

saralem wrote:

A couple will need all of those items... you do need furniture, spices, trash cans, mop and bucket.

But we bought the majority of our housewares and pantry items etc ourselves after getting married. Totally fine and this way you can get what you truly need.

I got married with minimal linen and towels, a couple of pots, and meat and dairy Corelle for four.

Glad I didn't get service for 12 and have it sit in boxes. Honestly by the time most people have 2 kids old enough to use real dishes, they're mostly using disposables anyway.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 6:43 pm

Sorry took so long to get back onto the thread.
I spent around 350 per set of linen, total 1k for 3 sets.
Add in the pillows, blankets, mattress protectors, pillow protectors, etc
Plus shower curtain, towels, etc
Housewares I do not feel I spent extra on the regular.
The extras were on shabbos table settings, China, cutlery, chargers (from Amazon) and napkin rings (Amazon, too!)
What I also feel was extra was a Bosch mixer, and she chose nice white tablecloth ($150)
I did not get these things as a kallah.
On the other hand, she did not get any gifts at her vort.
I feel that the truth with this and most thiings in life is that whoever you will ask will have gotten something. Each friend will have gotten something and if she asks each friend, she will come out with a full list of things that she "must" get.
I am not the type of mother to just give in to everything, but was curious where people draw the line
I guess it really depends on your circles. (I'm chassidish)

amother

Pearl ↓

Yesterday at 6:50 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

Furniture is even more of a waste, imo. Newlyweds start in a small rental or starter home. Why buy costly furniture when you have no idea of your future home. Buy a low cost dinette set and beds, then upgrade when you settle your life later.

It's mostly a money grab from parents and creates so much waste. Look how many sell them secondhand when they move from their starter space.

Whats wrong with Ikea furniture for young adults?

20 yr later same bedroom set, dinette set and dining room set. (The dining room chairs are starting to go but the rest of it is amazing).
I’m so grateful I got amazing quality so didn’t have to buy over and over again.
Even my couch I only replaced recently after 15 years.
If you aren’t set on trendy furniture having top quality can save you money for many years down the line.