I want to shave my head!

amother

Hyacinth

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 1:21 am

sorry but I literally don't understand this. I live near lots of chasidim who shave. I literally feel bad for them and especially their husbands. I can't for the life of me make myself bald on purpose! nebach!
honestly, when I'm hot outside, my hair is the last thing making me hot. whether with a tichel or a wig.
I've never thought of my hair being the thing causing me to be hot.
sweaty bra, underarms, tights etc. but hair? interesting.

amother

↑ Lightcyan ↓

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 1:45 am

amother Hyacinth wrote:

Why nebach? You like your hair, not everyone likes theirs. Maybe nebach all the people who feel the need for long hair and have to put up with the discomfort.

You really don't feel the heat on your head?

amother

Pistachio ↓

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 4:01 am

amother Lightcyan wrote:

No I really really don’t. I think being bald is the saddest thing. Think cancer patients , Alopecia, other diseases that cause hair loss etc.
It’s a sad connotation and those who are in these situations spend so much money to get natural looking wigs and toupees to make themselves feel normal, since being bald is not considered attractive and it can be very difficult for people who are in that situation. If I lost my hair for any of the above reasons I’d be devastated.

To all of you that can’t handle having hair in the heat, are you specifically sensory to an extreme? Like in other ways, not just with hair?
I can’t understand how so many people can’t handle their hair, the hair they’ve had on their heads since birth, that they’ve always dealt with in heat or in other extreme weather. I have long hair and a long wig and live in an area that’s boiling hot in the summer but I’d never in a million years consider shaving my head, or anything else drastic. I’d never even walk out of my house without a shaitel tbh.

Hair is attractive , that’s why we’re supposed to cover it! The whole point of the mitzvah.

Baldness is associated with unattractive OR a certain type (Jada Pinkett smith and Ayanna Presley for example- both doing it to make some sort of statement IMO, like some kind of empowerment , “I’m gonna shave my head even if no healthy member of society would normally ever do this by choice, what are you gonna do about it” ).

This whole thread is giving me Britney Spears 2007 meltdown vibes.

amother

Leaf ↓

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 7:42 am

amother Hyacinth wrote:

I'm here to take the burden off of you- no need to feel bad for me. I'm no nebach. At this point I shave by choice. I love it and wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't think of myself as bald. I wear a bandana or sheitel... Even whatever hair I have gives my head a color so I don't have that shiny bald head.
In either case it works perfectly well for me and my dh. I understand why people wouldn't want to do it but there are reasons people like it.

amother

↑ Pistachio ↓

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 7:47 am

amother Leaf wrote:

You’re used to it, so it makes sense to you.
But overall the concept is awful. Shaving your head bald because someone decided you should, regardless if you want to do it or not. And despite you making it seem like nbd to you, there are a lot of woman (and men) who find it to be a very big deal.

There’s been hundreds of threads and posts on this very platform over the years of woman who hate that they have to shave , their husbands don’t either want them to in some cases , they feel degraded and forced , and don’t understand the entire background and need for it.
If you feel differently for any reason, kol hakavod, but if you think deeply into it, it’s horrible for those to “have” to do it if they don’t want to.

The people on this thread who are impulsively shaving their heads due to the heat much have extreme sensory issues, most people aren’t running to shave their heads because it’s hot outside.

amother

↑ Pistachio

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 7:53 am

amother Leaf wrote:

Also, why don’t you think of yourself as bald?
You might wear a shaitel or bandana but if you shave your head, you shave your head.
Not sure why it matters if you have “that shiny bald head” or not but it just makes my point when you write that you don’t have “that shiny bald head” (as if this part is not a nice thing) because “whatever hair you do have , gives your head a color” (meaning, having hair takes away from the “shiny bald head” which is a GOOD thing , the way you’re writing it)

amother

↑ Marigold

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 8:49 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

Relax. We are talking about shaving because we want to, not because we are forced to. No, I don’t have extreme sensory issues. I do have a sweating disorder and get very hot, and have very thick curly hair. Literally since the time I was a child I’ve dreamed of shaving all my hair off. Now that I wear wigs anyways who cares if at home I look like peach fuzz? My DH finds it cute, I’m much more comfortable. If you can’t imagine how it helps, it’s because you’ve never done it.

And you don’t think hair makes people hot? So if someone is overheating they don’t put their hair up in a ponytail? Or put it up when doing sports or strenuous activity? It’s not a rare phenomenon to be hot with lots of hair covering your neck

amother

↑ Leaf

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 8:50 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

I am not here to say that it's not sad that people who don't want to shave do it for other people.
I totally get that shaving is not for everybody and might be repulsive to some.
I get all that.
I'm also saying that I love my shaved head so no need to feel sorry for me. There are merits to having your hair and yes there are actually pros to shaving that some people like it. I don't feel bad for woman that have long hair even if it's not something that I want and you don't have to feel bad for me. Everyone should do what works for them.
The way you wrote your post feels condescending and judgemental towards a choice that I made.

amother

Goldenrod

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 10:22 am

amother Pistachio wrote:

As someone who used to shave, and currently doesnt:

It is extremely condescending the way you are putting down women who "choose" to shave, as if they are too dumb to make choices for themselves and you are oh so smarter
Yes, there is a huge difference between being bald and having a buzz cut. A buzz cut can look super hot on some people. I personally think I rocked it, my dh rhought I looked hot that way too, and I may shave my hair again in the future.
I think there's merit in saying it's sad that there are women that shave and feel forced to shave when they don't want to. But to tell women here who actively chose to do it that they are coerced or nebach or reminisce of Britney spears breakdown is just wrong.

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 2:13 pm

I never thought it would come to a point where I'd want to do the same! I'm chasidish and got married a couple years ago. I made the decision not to shave then because the idea of me in a buzz cut freaked me out. I cut it short, yet still long enough to be in a pony. In the years since I made that decision, I discovered that hair, while covered, is not the glory I thought it would be. My once beautiful thick hair, has become dull, easily tangles, sports random postpartum hair loss spots and awkward new postpartum short-long hairs. I find thick hair under a wig is a minus and to top it off, I started sprouting white hairs in my low twenties.
I always struggled with the oppressive city heat in the summers, but sweating through my hair and my wig (and not being able to just wash it every night so it feels fresh with each new wear) is really tough.

There's no wind riffling through my hair, no sunlight reflecting it. I'm not styling my hair, throwing it up in a bun, and carelessly taking a walk in the rain.. Having my hair covered (almost) always is completely different than enjoying my hair as a girl. It hurts to say, but I'm not in love with my hair anymore! It's become a burden.

I haven't chopped it all off yet because the buzz-cut girl in the mirror is still freaking me out, but I think I'm inching closer to that decision.

amother

↑ Lightcyan

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 2:16 pm

Most of the day, I have my head covered. Whatever hair I have on my head is there all of the time, whether it can be seen or not. Maybe this sounds silly, but I resent it for bothering me even slightly when it's not even performing its function.

BTW, comparing being bald/buzzcut by choice with alopecia and chemo is pretty wrong IMO. Hair loss can affect facial and body hair as well. Never once have I heard someone say "nebach, his shaven face reminds me of alopecia barbae" or "nebach, she shaves her legs and underarms, her body is hairless like a chemo patient."

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue

Mon, Aug 19 2024, 2:47 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

What's your logic? The fact that some women feel pressured to shave means that nobody should shave in solidarity or something?