Help, baby cries to nurse ALL night!

amother

Trillium ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:37 am

Frantic nursing, nursing to the point of overfeeding and uncomfortable, crying and unable to be comforted, not sleeping sounds like pain. Maybe something ur eating, could be teething, silent reflux, things like that.
If the Dr doesn't find anything I would try a baby probiotic, magnesium lotion on feet and mag flakes in bath, digestive enzymes for you, chamomila homeopathic for teething pain and Bach rescue remedy kids to help with stress response.

I also agree with earlier wake time and earlier bedtime and more naps, it sounds counterintuitive but babies sleep better that way.

↑ tichellady ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:51 am

amother Orange wrote:

A sleep consultant will tel her everything we have been saying, just charge a lot.

This baby is before the point of sleep training, he desperately needs a schedule. Leaving him to cry at this point is just mean.

Op first of all I’m sorry you’re so tired. If it helps I pay a lot for therapy and spend many sessions complaining that my life would be simpler if I just slept! (Toddlers:) So I totally get it!

It’s almost the weekend. Can you ask your husband to help you troubleshoot this aggressively over the weekend? Waking him up before eight tomorrow morning trying to get nap then and then working on bedtime at a normal hour?

Also, I know you said your room doesn’t have action, but many babies do much better with a noise machine, and a fully dark room so they aren’t stimulated.

Sometimes you need someone to hold your hand through the process when you are very tired and overwhelmed.Sleep consultant would also help put at the baby on schedule first.

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 11:53 am

dena613 wrote:

4 times in two hours is not normal.

First, get a slot at the pediatrician today! Check ears, check teeth, mouth for thrush, etc.

If everything checks out, ask Dr if you can give Tylenol at 9:30 in case its teething.

Do not nurse more than every two hours!

Try doing something else to soothe. Holding, patting on back, pacifier, talking to him. And after two hours nurse.

This. You shouldn't ignore him to cry alone but you can show him other ways of comfort. He might cry for two whole hours but if you are with him he won't be traumatized.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:49 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

Sounds like he’s using you as a pacifier if he’s latching and falling asleep. It’s not the milk he’s after, but the soothing sensation of sucking. Can you try to put in a pack instead? Pacifiers are a life saver! My mom always says our babies see us as a human pacifier and once you get them used to a standard pacifier they won’t need you in that way. Best of luck !

I tried a pacifier. Initially he wasn't into it at all, more recently it worked a few times, now he will chew on it with interest if he's not sad yet but when he's sad it does nothing. I'm seeing a little promise with finger sucking too, not worrying about potential future bad habits at this point, but I've seen him start sucking on his fingers when relaxing. But neither fingers nor paci take him all the way to sleep or get him down from being sad. Just keeps him calm for a little longer when he's calm already.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:53 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

I do think he might have reflux but they don't give babies medicine for that anymore (makes sense because acid medicine can really mess up the natural systems) and I can't figure out what else to do. I tried the gentle/anti reflux formulas and they gave him terrible gas and didn't seem to help his spit up. I tried going off milk (he only gets formula 3-4 days a week at babysitter since I work part time) and did not notice any difference between formula days and dairy free breastmilk days. Tried holding him upright more even when sleeping - no change. I'm not sure what else to try. I did try baby probiotic drops but that was a while ago, didn't help his spitting up but I will try it again now to see if it helps the sleep.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:56 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

Needs few days of consistent trying. and your commitment. maybe nurse for 10 minutes, then transfer to crib, while still awake but sleepy, hold down forcefully (not too forcefully but just that he stays down and pat (can take half hour or more first time) and keep doing that until he falls asleep. then pat less and less and stand further and further... start when he is not overtired. takes few sleepless nights. but bezras hashem it should pay off.

Yeah so that didn't work at all. No matter how gently I transfer he either pops up ready to play for the next 2 hours or wakes up crying hysterically and only gets worse as I pat and sing and rock and anything, until I give up and nurse him again.

amother

↑ Trillium ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you think reflux might be a big piece you need to address it head on.
It takes at least 3 weeks for traces of dairy to leave your milk.
You won't necessarily see a difference from one day to the next with formula.
Need to be consistent about the probiotics.
Taking a good digestive enzyme yourself will help your food be more broken down which will mean your milk will be easier for baby to digest and less likely to cause irritation.
Keep your diet clean.
Many babies react to chocolate and coffee, they are both very acidic.
He may be sensitive/allergic to other foods.
Hidden tongue ties can be a cause of reflux in babies as well.
Rubbing a little castor oil over babies liver can help with digestion.
Magnesium and b vitamins are helpful for reflux as well.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:04 pm

Yes I tried Tylenol in case of teething. A few nights. No change.

I didn't take him to the pediatrician yet because his well visit is next week so I figure we'll just do it then. Because I'm skeptical that they'll have any insight that will result in better sleep within that week anyway.

Shabbos is coming. I'm going to see if I can get dh to take longer shifts before giving up and giving him back to me. Will also see if he can take him to wake him up in the morning shabbos and Sunday while letting me sleep in, because I get the idea that it's better for the baby to wake up in the morning but I physically can't be the one to do it. He davens early anyway. Slight issue that it can only be done Shabbos and Sunday but maybe that'll get me enough sleep that I can continue the wake up to Monday.

Meanwhile I read through the link about sleep/wake schedules and so far right now he's having an appropriate nap. The problem is I need to get to work so will have to interrupt that. Schedules are so hard Sad

it's never been a strength for me, now having to coordinate both myself and a baby is a huge challenge but I really appreciate all the support offered here and I feel more grounded now taking this advice. Feel bad waking him up but he fell asleep on the couch and I can't leave him there while I get ready to go.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:09 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

Oy that's a lot!
I can try doing more with dairy. My big hesitation is that I think nondairy formulas are based on soy which I don't love either. I can try building up a pumping supply but I really hate pumping which is how we got on formula in the first place.

What is a good digestive enzyme exactly?

Had him checked for tongue tie by a couple of people when he was newborn and not establishing nursing very well. Nothing there. Bh he got a little older and a little bigger and learned how to nurse.

Not sure about magnesium and b, I'm hesitant to put anything extra into such a tiny person.

amother

↑ Trillium ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

You would take the magnesium and b.
You can do mag lotion and flakes for baby.
Digestive enzymes https://www.iherb.com/pr/enzym.....74620
I didn't realize he was taking formula as well, that's a tough one.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 1:18 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

I already take magnesium for myself as well as a multi prenatal/nursing that includes all the B's
😩
Will try the enzymes, why not

amother

↑ Mintgreen ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 2:52 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

You might not want to hear some of this, but here is a/the solution.
He is waking up like that because he has a sleep association - nurse = sleep. That’s fine, except it’s severely inhibiting your life and you’re asking for help making a change. He needs to learn to go to sleep at bedtime completely independently (wide awake in crib). Here it is, oversimplified:
A. No nursing for 30 minutes before bedtime
B. No nursing for 4/5 hours after bedtime (needs to go back to sleep independently at any wakes during that time)
C. Age appropriate schedule with consistent naps and wake times as much as possible, and most importantly a consistent 3, maybe 4 hours between the last nap and bedtime.
You don’t need to sleep train. But this is why I do. Because otherwise, at 5 months my babies need to nurse every half hour even while cosleeping and I can’t function. It will change your life if he learns independent sleep.

This isn’t good for baby. A 5 month old nursing baby can’t nurse until 4-5 hours after bedtime??
That’s not fair to baby. Babies nurse for hunger, thirst and comfort and it’s not right to not allow them some milk for such long intervals.
Op, please don’t follow this well intentioned albeit misguided advice.
Op it’s really hard stage that will pass. I would just co sleep and get through it.

amother

↑ Mintgreen ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 2:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Op, stop trying so hard just to leave him and just nurse him back to sleep. 5 months is so young. You can save yourself and baby a lot of tears.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 3:24 pm

Yeah at this point I'm totally on board with the idea of quitting and nursing him all night. I'm just running into this issue where I can barely keep my head up at work and I'm terrified of getting into a car accident. Where I live you need to drive most places but even walking I'd probably be a danger to myself if not others.

Other than that, nursing all night sounds very cozy and attachmenty.

amother

↑ Mintgreen ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 3:37 pm

smss wrote:

Mintgreen I feel like you haven't been reading OP's posts. She's already BEEN nursing him every time he cries! And it just makes him overfull and more miserable!

What was true for your babies isn't necessarily true for all babies...

You can’t over feed via nursing. That’s not the way it works. You can always nurse more wether for comfort or just a sip. An uncomfortable baby nursing for comfort is ok.

amother

↑ Mintgreen ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 3:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s really difficult! Driving and being tired is the worst. I feel for you.

amother

↑ Orange ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 4:13 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

You can’t over feed via nursing. That’s not the way it works. You can always nurse more wether for comfort or just a sip. An uncomfortable baby nursing for comfort is ok.

After a while he doesn’t even want to nurse. Did you read her posts?

Op I hope this weekend helps you get into a rythm. Schedules are hard but if you get into one more or less it also makes life much easier in some ways.

↑ Rachel Shira ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 4:30 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

You don’t have to like it. I gave her advice that I knew she might not take. But she’s at her wits end and that would probably be a solution.
A healthy 5 month old baby can go for one 4/5 hour stretch during 24 hours without nursing, especially if the nursing isn’t solving the problem. A solid stretch of sleep is also very healthy. It’s totally fine to nurse whenever you want during the night, but you’re not harming your baby if you don’t.

amother

↑ Mintgreen ↓

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 5:32 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

If the baby naturally sleeps that 4-5 hour stretch, I agree it isn’t harmful. But if baby wakes up and wants to nurse and mom is intent on waiting until 4-5 hours, thats absolutely harmful. If baby wants to nurse in middle of the night, let them. Especially before 6 months when you can’t even offer them water for thirst and they are completely reliant on your breastmilk.