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Ask a Shailah or Use Common Sense?
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  Motek  




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2006, 2:35 pm
amother wrote:
we were given a heter to live in the same house but were not permitted to each other.


Why? Sorry, not familiar with these laws. Why could this require divorce if not rectified?

Quote:
that was 4 years ago. by the way we have a 3 year old daughter!


how nice! Smile
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  amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2006, 4:29 pm
Motek,

a vasectomy is total usser and one who has is a "kroos shafcha," (flow has been cut) He can't marry a Jewish woman. He can marry a convert, but if he was already married to a Jewish woman and underwent a vasectomy, they have to divorce.
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  Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2006, 4:47 pm
aha, thanks for explaining
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Ribbie Danzinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2006, 6:49 pm
"A wise question is half an answer." That means, as I understand it, that first we must think (common sense and general knowledge) and then after considering all the aspects and reaching a tentative solution, we should ask the rav.

Some things do not need us to rush to a rav every minute. I have heard a story about a woman who began taking all her bedikot to the rav because she was never confident about her own assessment until once when she took a bedika to the rav without even looking at it first and the rav asked, "so what's the shaila?" There was none. After that embarassing episode she made sure she used her common sense more often!

As for questions like the above amother's - this is not talking about common sense. Of course you couldn't have known the prohibitions involved in what your husband did before you were ba'al teshuva. As you learn more, your common sense rules become enhanced more and more and you get more of a "feel" about what could be a shaila and what isn't. You also learn to answer some things yourself.

Another story: Someone I know got a new pan for Pesach which she wanted to keep pareve, but while cooking potatoes in the pan on erev Pesach she accidentally stirred them with a milchig (Pesach) spoon. She was very upset that she had made her pan "milchig" and that is the way it remained, that is what her common sense told her.

After taking a course in hilchot basar bechalav, she may have thought that only the potatoes were milchig because what was in the spoon was batel beshishim. If she looked it up in a book after that she would think that since the spoon had not been used for milk for the past twenty-four hours, maybe not even the potatoes were milchig.

With a bit more learning, she might even decide that it would be a good idea to ask if that knife that she used for hard cheese last Pesach could be used for pareve this year without doing hag'alah.
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mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 21 2006, 7:19 pm
Ribbie Danzinger wrote:

With a bit more learning, she might even decide that it would be a good idea to ask if that knife that she used for hard cheese last Pesach could be used for pareve this year without doing hag'alah.


which is why all of us should always try to continue our learning-even just casual reading of a sefer can inspire a shailah

you have to know that something is a question in order to know to ask it
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  sarahd




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 22 2006, 7:42 am
mummyof6, a former poster here wrote that her Rov told her to have her children wait an hour per year. So her one year old waits an hour, her two-year old two hours, etc.

melalyse, now that my son is almost 2-1/2, I explain to him that he can't have milk right after meat, but has to wait a bit. But when he was a year old, I would give him something to clear out his mouth, either a drink of water or something pareve to eat, and then would give him milk.
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