How much $ is normal for kallah housewares?

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 10:17 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

What are chargers? I cant figure it out.
Not for phones im assuming.

Large underplates of china, metal or plastic being placed under the main course plate (in old times made to protect the wooden table from heat)
Looks very elegant on a formal dinner table.

amother

↑ NeonBlue

Yesterday at 10:24 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Large underplates of china, metal or plastic being placed under the main course plate (in old times made to protect the wooden table from heat)
Looks very elegant on a formal dinner table.

Im 45 and have been to 4 continents in my life. I have never seen that in any home I have ever been to.

Elfrida

Yesterday at 10:26 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Large underplates of china, metal or plastic being placed under the main course plate (in old times made to protect the wooden table from heat)
Looks very elegant on a formal dinner table.

To those who aren't used to it, both the concept and the appearance are rather strange.

Quote:

Im 45 and have been to 4 continents in my life. I have never seen that in any home I have ever been to.

I grew up in England, and I'd never come acrois them, either.The item that most closely resembles this is probably place mats. They serve a similar function, even if the appearance is very different.

I k ow one woman here in Israel who recently got a set. Her children were completely bemused by the concept.

Last edited by Elfrida on Tue, Dec 10 2024, 10:35 am; edited 1 time in total

asmileaday

Yesterday at 10:35 am

I can't comment on the total price if it's normal but it does seem like your daughter wants a lot of extras.
Is she working? Can you determine what you can afford, give her that budget and the rest she spends her own money on?

I'm flabbergasted at the numbers thrown around here on linen. I got married 20 years ago and the linen I bought was from a Jewish store. One set was $100 the other $150 and the white was $80. Pillows and blankets were probably another $150.
Yeah it was 20 years ago and inflation bla bla bla. But I recently bought a nice linen set in a Jewish store, I splurged and it was $270 (including custom sized fitted sheets).
My other recent linen purchases were from Closeout connection. I think it was $120 or in that ballpark. They have beautiful sets.
If you can afford $1000 sets, go have fun, buy it. It's not a necessity.

amother

↑ Waterlily

Yesterday at 10:39 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

Pray tell, why does a 18-20 year old kallah need euro pillows and throw pillows?

And why can they only sleep on the highest quality linen?

This is an example of why the cost of weddings have skyrocketed in some communities. These are young adults, just starting their lives. They don't need to have the highest quality, the best that's out there or stockpile for life - all on their parents dime. If the parents can afford it, that's another story. But when the majority is financially strapped, this is literally insane.

The young adults will IY"H have their entire lives to upgrade and gift each other stuff. No need to suck the parents dry, it's really a display of poor middos (to put it mildly).

B”h my parents were able to afford it and this is where they splurged. I do agree about the Euro and throw pillows they are a complete waste - probably the sales lady convinced us. I however did not get any real furniture like most Brooklyn, Lakewood, Monsey get, I got a cheap set of beds, night table and dresser and then a set of table and chairs. (Typical is 15-20k from where I’m from)

amother

Pumpkin

Yesterday at 10:44 am

She doesn’t need chargers or napkin rings
She can buy that afterward if she needs
Who’s she hosting already it’s not like she’s making yom tov?
She can use her meat dishes for shabbos. I know a lot of people who did that
I got married a little over a year ago and didn’t get all those extras and it’s fine I never needed it an there’s always Amazon or h&m
If you have the money then why not but if it’s too much then it’s really not necessary

amother

Myrtle ↓

Yesterday at 10:48 am

Coming up on 10 years. My expensive splurge linen set (complete for 2 full beds) was $600. The other set was $350. I have 1 white sheet from Target for $10. The linen lasted me 7-8 years and I replaced it when we changed mattress sizes.

I had a registry but I also bought affordable classic companies like corelle and pyrex.

China? Chargers? Yes she's crazy. It will sit in boxes in her tiny apartment then get shlepped to every place she moves to.

amother

Snowflake ↓

Yesterday at 10:52 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Im 45 and have been to 4 continents in my life. I have never seen that in any home I have ever been to.

I’m almost your age and I’ve also been to many continents and we had chargers growing up. Chargers are a way to pull the china and crystal togwther with the tablecloth and napkins and silver. They can also dress up or dress down the table. I’m in the USA and the dollar store sells cheap chargers. It’s not just the regular/high end stores.

amother

↑ Snowflake

Yesterday at 10:54 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

When we first got married we got bedroom furniture from ikea. We used an old china set from my parents until we got our own. You want to make sure that the China and silver you pick out is something you really like, take time to get it. Stainless is cheap enough to replace whenever, silverware isn’t. Now I’m in the hosting generation so I might get chargers, napkin rings, etc…but only if I want. Not to impress anyone.

amother

↑ Daffodil ↓

Yesterday at 10:55 am

amother Waterlily wrote:

Furniture is even more of a waste, imo. Newlyweds start in a small rental or starter home. Why buy costly furniture when you have no idea of your future home. Buy a low cost dinette set and beds, then upgrade when you settle your life later.

It's mostly a money grab from parents and creates so much waste. Look how many sell them secondhand when they move from their starter space.

Whats wrong with Ikea furniture for young adults?

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 10:59 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Im 45 and have been to 4 continents in my life. I have never seen that in any home I have ever been to.

My very comfortable friend doesn't even have it or use it. It's for very fancy formal dinners. Looks very nice but one can have a good life without them Smile

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 11:07 am

amother Snowflake wrote:

What do you mean by "pull together the china and crystal"?
Guess you grew up in a home with an appreciation of nice tableware.

essie14

Yesterday at 11:08 am

honey36 wrote:

I'm not going to comment on the money aspect per say, but I do want to say I regretted a lot of my purchases as a kallah.

We got lots of dishes (weekday, Shabbos, milchiks) and we didn't have a dishwasher so ended up just needing 2 of everything because no room in sink and had to either wash everything right away or used disposable. Once we had kids, I prefer them to use hard plastic or corelle type dishes anyways. So yeah, lots of dishes collecting dust in my cupboard. Yes, I began using them more eventually, but still it was a shlep keeping them all these years (a few moves in between like most young couples). Same with extra linen and other random housewares.

You need to spend some time running a home to see what you really need before just splurging and buying everything.

So yeah, I would say just buy the basics basics, as minimal as you can, then as your family grows you can add to it as you see fit.

Agree. I think these young girls have very wide eyes and think they need a million things when they don't have the faintest idea of how to run a household.
In our circles couples start out in small apartments, they don't host much if at all.
I will definitely not be financing this level of housewares for a young couple.
They need to ease into married life, find a more permanent place to live, figure out how much hosting they'll be doing, etc. That all takes years.
DD's friends don't host guests for shabbat and some are married for 2-3 years.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Yesterday at 11:10 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

I got furniture when I got married and am still using same, close to 30 years later. Not sure what waste you are referring to.

ETA I don't think there's a one-size-fits all. Different people have different POV on this. You do what works. We set the girls up with certain things, and henceforth they are on their own (it's not a money grab - we gave it very happily and willingly). We got them bedroom set, couch, dinette table and chairs. Our thinking is, they will always use the bedroom set (I'm still using mine). They need somewhere to sit, and somewhere to eat. Yes in the future they may want to buy a larger dining room table, more expensive couch, etc... -their business, not mine. They bought some Ikea bookshelves themselves...part of growing up, taking care of yourself and making decisions together.

Last edited by Chayalle on Tue, Dec 10 2024, 11:17 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Apple

Yesterday at 11:12 am

My parents gave me a sum of money to cover housewares (as well as a couple of other things) for me to buy all I need, as needed. Did this because I started out in Israel and wanted to buy my stuff there. It was the best thing, I bought as needed and as I got used to running a home, saw what was worth it for me and what wasn't. Because the plan was only temporary, I bought very cheap items and I was able to really work out what's best for me. And I still have the money to purchase some better things once I move back as I didn't use it all. I'll of course have to add my own but they gave me what they could afford and I'm so grateful for that!

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 11:38 am

amother Violet wrote:

so crazy. what is wrong with bedding bought from target or amazon? so much cheaper, am I really living in such a differnt world to all of you??

Will you have your set for 30 years? So far I have mine for 16.
Also to the amother who said why not just a white sheet? It's because we believe you need a FULL white set, including pillow cases. My pillow cases do have embroidery, but some people don't even do that.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Yesterday at 11:40 am

amother Taupe wrote:

Plenty of not-even-close-to-1000 for linen sets last that long. My linen lasted very nicely, but recently (after 25+ years) my tastes have changed and I've gotten some new linen (again for not $$$).

I actually think linen is something that's nice to update after a number of years, and it's a good place not to overspend for that reason. Get something nice, fresh, decent quality - yes. Over the top - not so worthwhile.

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 11:44 am

amother Jade wrote:

There is nothing wrong with getting a nice set of linen from ikea, or home goods or tj max. You don’t need Jewish linen.
I just got a 100% cotton set which was 2 pillow cases and duvet cover from home goods for $70, and I ordered a matching color fitted sheet from amazon. That was my splurge.
I’ve also found linen for $25 from home goods.

So do the math. $70 x 2 = $140.
Car to Homegoods and back = $80
Fitted Sheets = $25
Total = $245
And you have to get lucky enough that there is actually two of the same. I've looked in Homegoods for curtains and could not find enough to cover my window. They ended up before $50-$70 each. I had already spent money on the car, so I didn't want it to go to waste and I went to Joanne's, and I actually purchased fabric that was on sale so my total cost came out to around $35 which would have been $200-300 at Homegoods IF they even ended up having enough.
I have also purchased curtains at target, but it was $19.99 a pack so also not the best deal when you factor in the taxi money.

In the chasuna mall, a basic linen set runs around $300-500 and you know what you're getting and that there will be enough. At that point, $300 is a safer bet than the $245 above. Traveling around from one homegoods to another with a taxi can easily exceed the $300 of a set.

I really like to save money, but it's not so easy to save on linens.

I also have a set of linen I purchased from ikea and it came over to over $200 for the two twin beds.

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 11:45 am

Chayalle wrote:

$1,000 is not an AVERAGE set. $300 is what a set will cost in the chasuna mall now. For $500 you can have something magnificent. If you want to go to boutique linen stores, then you'll pay $800+ a set, but that is not what is being discussed here.