Crohn's flare and abusive parenting-is this a thing?

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:16 am

amother OP wrote:

He has taken supplements at different points. Maybe I'll bring it up again. What supplements do you find helpful?

I may be able to convince him to do acupuncture. Meditation I'm not so sure about. If you're in Lakewood area, who do you go to for acupuncture?

Anything else? I'll prob do just about anything I can right now.

Acupuncture I go to Shore Acupuncture in TR. Dr Joe. Lots of frum people go there.

I worked with a doctor tp figure out what supplements to take but he's not local.

Btw I apologize for my harsh tone earlier. The poster who compared flare ups to her abusive FIL really upset me. It sounds like your dh is trying to do better. There's no way to know before marriage that this will be an issue, because when you don't have kids you can focus on yourself during flare ups and don't need to deal with that added stress.

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:22 am

amother Poppy wrote:

I have 2 immediate family members with Crohn's and have never heard about this gut- brain reaction. When my family members have had flares they are more irritable than usual due to being in pain and dehydration/hunger from not being able to absorb nutrients (think severe diarrhea). Is your husband on medication and/or infusions? Because the goal is to get the Crohn's under control and into remission. He should not be having frequent flares. Diet can play a part but for many with Crohn's biologics are the most important piece to the puzzle.

It's fairly new info. https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Gu.....76551

amother

↑ Poppy

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:29 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

It's fairly new info. https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Gu.....76551

I haven't read this so I can't comment. I would be more interested in scientific studies than one person's perspective. Regardless, the inflammation in the gut has to be addressed asap.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:02 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

Thank you for the recommendation for acupuncture. I'm going to look into it.

I appreciate your apology. To explain, when we were dating, dh told me that he has Crohn's and it's under control. I spoke to a few people and thought a lot about it before continuing to date. This is why I said I didn't understand what I was agreeing to. And I didn't think I deserved to be yelled at (ouch! It did hurt) so I just disregarded that part of your post. Thank you for posting helpful information. I'll take whatever help I can get right now, including a cleaning lady today!

amother

RosePink ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:36 am

PSA here. My adult son has Crohn's which is 100% controlled by biologics BH. Never heard of this. I make it my duty to tamp down fear mongering regarding Crohn's. Everyone's case is different and it only causes harm by making it sound like this kind of behavior is a symptom of Crohn's. This is someone's individual issues not intrinsically related to Crohn's disease.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:59 am

amother RosePink wrote:

I think you mean to say this has been your personal experience with Crohn's. Other people have had other experiences. May you never know otherwise.

amother

↑ RosePink ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 12:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think you mean to say this has been your personal experience with Crohn's. Other people have had other experiences. May you never know otherwise.

AMEIN! Yes, you have yours and I have mine and many others do to. Abusive behavior is not a symptom of Crohn's. It's unfair to imply otherwise.

amother

↑ Indigo

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 12:27 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

You are totally ignorant of the gut brain connection. Your being stable while on iv fluids is great, and I’ll clap for you, but it doesn’t mean anything when it comes to crohns.

You are correct, I know nothing about gut brain connection.

I know a lot though about surviving child abuse. I know what growing up with this type of father- volatile, furious, frightening - can do to a child, and the lasting effects it can have into adulthood.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 12:32 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

AMEIN! Yes, you have yours and I have mine and many others do to. Abusive behavior is not a symptom of Crohn's. It's unfair to imply otherwise.

I have just been reading about the gut brain connection that has been mentioned here. Maybe look into it more before you make that kind of statement.
Unacceptable? Yes of course
Unrelated? Not quite sure.

amother

↑ RosePink ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 12:44 pm

Anyone in pain will have difficulty managing life. Pain comes in millions of forms, be it physical, emotional or psychological. That your husband needs to manage his Crohn's better is clear. Find a better doctor. There is so much help out there today no one should be suffering! I am sure I would not be a pleasant person if I was living a life in pain. But unacceptable behavior is not a SYMPTOM. Please. You are causing so much harm by leading people to believe this. My uncle, sister, cousin, son and sister in law all have Crohn's. They are pleasant, well adjusted people. In fact, no one even knows that some of them have any condition at all. Crohn's is so prevalent in the ashkenazi population you probably have many people in your life who have it and you do not even know. Abusive behavior is NOT a symptom. I am sorry you are suffering and I wish you all the best!

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 1:18 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

I appreciate your perspective and hear your point. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:08 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors, you don't know what others struggle with, oh, and anecdotal evidence is of very limited value.

amother

↑ RosePink ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:09 pm

By promulgating false information you are causing harm. Perhaps even to your own children. Like many auto-immune diseases Crohn's can be hereditary. There is enough stigma already when it comes to shidduchim. Adding a false downside is very unhelpful. Lets keep things factual so that we can all remain open minded. I am begging you to stop the fear-mongering.

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:09 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

AMEIN! Yes, you have yours and I have mine and many others do to. Abusive behavior is not a symptom of Crohn's. It's unfair to imply otherwise.

You're not qualified to make any categorical statements

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:11 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

By promulgating false information you are causing harm. Perhaps even to your own children. Like many auto-immune diseases Crohn's can be hereditary. There is enough stigma already when it comes to shidduchim. Adding a false downside is very unhelpful. Let's keep things factual so that we can all remain open minded. I am begging you to stop the fear-mongering.

It's not fear mongering. Think of how long OP has suffered because she didn't know of this connection. We need more awareness, not less.

amother

↑ RosePink ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:12 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors, you don't know what others struggle with, oh, and anecdotal evidence is of very limited value.

I knew someone would chime in with this that is why I specifically chose people who I am very close to in my life.
I know someone who is a twin who has a terrible temper. Should I start claiming that being a twin causes someone to have bad middos? And if you say your aunt is a twin but is so nice would it be normal for me to answer well you don't know what is going on behind closed doors?
My husband has blue eyes and has OCD. So now does that mean blue eyed people are more likely to have OCD?
This is NONSENSE

amother

Holly

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:14 pm

I haven’t read every post, so I apologize in advance if someone already said this.
***************
I’m not condoning the behavior, but maybe if your husband is in pain he takes it out on weird ways? Like he can’t handle the pain and he can’t handle things that annoy him, usually he can control it but when he has a flare up this is what happens.

amother

↑ RosePink ↓

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:15 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

It's not fear mongering. Think of how long OP has suffered because she didn't know of this connection. We need more awareness, not less.

There is no connection!

amother

Aqua

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 2:15 pm

I didn't read the whole thread, but I just want to add that Crohn's is often linked to stress.

It can be kept under control but flare ups often mean the person is more stressed than usual, which can also cause a person to act in ways that they usually wouldn't.